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Everything posted by TootyBut2DButt

  1. She’s got a face like a horse, and legs like a horse and also the body and penis of horse. Oh wait, that’s a male horse.
  2. I'm in charge of a criminal Enterprise. We should be arrested for the low prices of our rental cars.
  3. Forget being inside the actors studio, I'm more interesting in being inside the studio's actors.
  4. Don't tooty on my fruity or I'll kick you in ya booty.
  5. In a lot of ways if you think about it life is kind of like a metaphorical obstacle course.
  6. Milk milk milk milk milk milk malk milk milk molk melk milk, lamuneed.
  7. I can’t turn water into wine but if you give me about 45 minutes I can turn it into something else.
  8. If it were up to me priests would be allowed to have sex with adults.
  9. I picked up two hitch hikers the other day, their names were Kevin James and Will Smith.
  10. When I die I hope they bury me face down so everyone won’t notice I have a boner.
  11. I’ll give you a pearl necklace said the oyster to the person he was ejaculating onto.
  12. The Spotify algorithm thinks I’m a fucking loser.
  13. I get hot as hell when you ring my bell. My clapper starts a-swinging’, when you put your thing in.
  14. If you think sodomy is taboo wait till I gomorrize you.
  15. I heard David and Goliath actually fucked.
  16. Sure raw sewage is disgusting, but cooked sewage is a lovely start to any meal.
  17. A slippery slope for a slippery Pope.
  18. Some people have greatness thrust upon them, some people thrust upon greatness.
  19. Did you know the game “duck duck goose” was originally called “ice ice baby”, but was changed when the song came out.
  20. I hate to be politically incorrect, but Democrats are associated with the color red and Republicans are associated with the color blue.
  21. If you want a good push-up bra, get a sports bra, they’re great for push-ups.
  22. I am happy to see you and I appreciate you thinking my dick could reach all the way to my pocket.
  23. I’ve got a great gynecologist who will do a penis for half price.
  24. It turns out Victoria’s Secret is that her overpriced undergarments are made by exploited workers in Southeast Asia, which isn’t as sexy a secret as those ads were suggesting.
  25. I’m a very punctual person but somehow I’m still always late to the party.