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Content count
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Posts posted by TootyBut2DButt
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I love roller coasters but people do spill a lot of drinks at my house.
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My dog quit today.
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I thought women named Dr. Christmas Jones only had an orgasm once during sex similar to how in a yearly period the similarly named holiday “Christmas” only occurs once.
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I’m about to drink more water than you can ever imagine.
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General MacArthur from the top rope with a DPRKO.
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Varnish my wood, Mr. Carpenter.
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I just found out about kinetic typography and my mind is blown.
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If you ask me Martin Luther was a king! Where are all my P-Ref heads at!?
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"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." said the emotionally abusive partner.
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The only thing I'm on is mic #podcasters against drugs
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Hi my name is Toe Tapper, you might be familiar with my brother, the child that our parents loved and didn't give a pun name to, Jake Tapper.
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Choosy beggars choose Jiff.
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Going through difficult divorce, please venmo anything you can spare, I’d be eternally grateful!  @OriginalBGates
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I contain multitudes (of farts).
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As a CIO, SAP is my favorite ERP for HRM, great ROI for your PnL.
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I don’t mean to brag but sometimes my periods are so big I need a blood transfusion.
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I didn’t understand why my dog kept humping my leg until I realized my leg looks like a hot dog.
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Somehow I managed to shit my pants but not my underwear.
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Someone tried to dox me but the joke’s on them because I’m a drifter.
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It’s a sad movie?  Well the joke’s on them because I was already sad.  Nice try, filmmakers!
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Good news. Â After 10 years I have finally removed the chicken bone that was lodged in my throat.
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Would it surprise you to know I was was once considered very thicc.
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Some day there will be no teens.
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Eye yam star tang eh cum penny.
I’m sorry Miss Piggy, I hate to be ham fisted.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
I’m sorry Miss Piggy, I hate to be ham fisted.