alfredosolisfuentes

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink it unless you spike it with a little tequila. Horses are know for being raging alcoholics. It’s sad but what you gonna do?

I’ve heard of an open mic, but an open casket?!

You can lead a horse to water but Mr. Hoofington is no ordinary horse. You try anything funny out there and he will make sure they never find your body

Today’s guest is not A.J. from The Backstreet Boys so sorry to disappoint you all again

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. Me and my grandpa were in a teleporter accident and now we are one person so you can call me the Grandpaman

What is this, Light Your Penis On Fire Day? It is? Cool

The only way out of this place is in a body bag, luckily I have a body so I’m 50% of the way there.

I’ve eaten so many of Bart Simpson’s shorts I’m starting to look like Homer. Also, I’m dying.

I made a skateboard out of cardboard and broke my legs cause this is America!

I’ve heard of junk in the trunk but poop in the butt?

You know what they say. If you can’t beat em, eat them. Obviously you gotta kill them first, so give a call to my cousin, Tire. He will take care of it.

Beans beans they’re good for your heart. The more you eat the more your nose grows. Eventually it falls off your face making you permanently disfigured. If this has happened to you, call 1800-BEAN. You may be entitled to compensation.

You know what they say. Using scissors for a circumcision is a crazy idea. So crazy, it might just work.

This show will not be funny but it is part of a balanced breakfast, so that’s a win

You can’t judge a book by its cover. You gotta judge it by how long the fingers of the author are. You don’t want to read something by some short-fingered freak