I will drink boba tea while I shoot this gun in the air. My name is Brandy Biggabu and I’m a sex addict

[I will drink boba tea while I shoot this gun in the air. My name is Brandy Biggabu and I’m a sex addict]

I will drink boba tea while I shoot this gun in the air. My name is Brandy Biggabu and I’m a sex addict 

[Let’s do it together. Let’s stab Grimace]

Let’s do it together. Let’s stab Grimace 

[The Cookie Monster has been Metooed]

The Cookie Monster has been Metooed 

[My baby is going to be here for about a month and a half so I’m excited for you to be warm and happy]

My baby is going to be here for about a month and a half so I’m excited for you to be warm and happy 
 

[Welcome to Grand Love, where 27 grandpas compete to win the love of one lucky gal. I’m your host Poop O’Donnell]

Welcome to Grand Love, where 27 grandpas compete to win the love of one lucky gal. I’m your host Poop O’Donnell

[You are sentenced to death for being too cool]

You are sentenced to death for being too cool 

[I am the number one fan of Hoobastank yet here I am]

I am the number one fan of Hoobastank yet here I am 

[Thank you to Papa Roach]

Thank you to Papa Roach 

[I will never play the Banjo!]

I will never play the Banjo! 

[I like my babysitters like I like my eggs.]

I like my babysitters like I like my eggs. 

[I want to be buried alive]

I want to be buried alive 

[You can lead a horse to water but that won’t bring back your mother, damn it! It’s time to let go.]

You can lead a horse to water but that won’t bring back your mother, damn it! It’s time to let go. 

[A good relationship is a lot like a penis. No further questions, your honor.]

A good relationship is a lot like a penis. No further questions, your honor. 

[Grimace must die]

Grimace must die 

[You can lead a horse to water but you can’t buy me love]

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t buy me love 

[Pearl Jam should have done the music for Space Jam and they should have changed their name to Space Jam for the movie and for the rest of their careers. And when Eddie Vedder dies his grave should just say Space Jam and nothing else.]

Pearl Jam should have done the music for Space Jam and they should have changed their name to Space Jam for the movie and for the rest of their careers. And when Eddie Vedder dies his grave should just say Space Jam and nothing else. 

[Maybe I don’t want to avoid the Noid, dad.]

Maybe I don’t want to avoid the Noid, dad. 

[The penis lawyer is going to be late]

The penis lawyer is going to be late 

[I will murder Grimace with a machete]

I will murder Grimace with a machete 

[Justice is blind and so am I. That’s why this room’s violently bright lighting does not bother me but it will drive a person with sight to insanity in a matter of minutes. This is how I win every case.]

Justice is blind and so am I. That’s why this room’s violently bright lighting does not bother me but it will drive a person with sight to insanity in a matter of minutes. This is how I win every case. 

[You can sniff whatever you want just give me back my birth certificate. They are going to foreclose my house if I don’t show it to them today]

You can sniff whatever you want just give me back my birth certificate. They are going to foreclose my house if I don’t show it to them today 

[My favorite person to come back from getting canceled is Jesus]

My favorite person to come back from getting canceled is Jesus 

[I will not fat shame Grimace but I will cut his throat for he is a threat to the multiverse]

I will not fat shame Grimace but I will cut his throat for he is a threat to the multiverse 

[I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I like to do things multiple times]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I like to do things multiple times 

[Australia called. They want their boomerang back]

Australia called. They want their boomerang back