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Doctor Suessicide

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  1. Slopping up some Woods on a Blowy Evening
  2. Doctor Suessicide

    Episode 238 — Bloodshot (w/ Adam Scott)

    I would like to address how mad Guy Pearce when he finds out that the tech guy used Open Source Software as part of their project. This is about as absurd as yelling at a chef when you find out there's salt it your meal. Sure, you could get by without it but no one does because it would be more work for a worse product. It's safe to say that the machine you're reading this on would not exist without open source software. Also, in scientific research it's considered bad practice to keep your source code closed as it prevents others from testing your results. That's for peer-reviewed journals, though, and maybe this organization plans on killing anyone who criticizes their work. I guess Guy Pearce doesn't know much about how his science/tech actually works, so he's more of an Evil CEO than a Mad Scientist. In which case, I wish the final act of this movie was KT & Wiggins digging through the nitty-gritty of software licensing law and having Vin play a cyborg lawyer.
  3. I'm a little teapot, short and stout. You're a big D-bag, get the fuck out.
  4. I came to kick bubblegum and chew ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum.
  5. Sex and drugs a straight baby?
  6. I've got sixty nine problems, but erectile disfunction ain't one.
  7. If you believe in prayer, and I pray you do, then you'll pray that I pray that you pray too.
  8. Doctor Suessicide

    Episode 216 - Serenity: LIVE! (w/ Nick Kroll)

    This reminds me of a common trope in "Is the world crazy?" plots: the character receives ambiguous information and doesn't ask follow-up questions. When Daker Bill is unsure whether he's inside a game he has that conversation with the bait shop lady. He asks some abstract, twisty nonsense and she goes back to asking about bait. This could be a sign she's an NPC... or just that she wants this unhinged, rum-soaked soon-to-be-murderer to buy some shit or get out of her shop. Dill Pickle could ask her follow-up questions to test her sentience. Like how Edward Norton in Fight Club finally starts asking people to explain exactly what they remember about Tyler Durden, instead of speaking in vague, cult-y code words.
  9. Doctor Suessicide

    Episode 216 - Serenity: LIVE! (w/ Nick Kroll)

    As a programmer, I have a thick skin for software nonsense in movies. So when Mr. The Rules was explaining the twist I was ready for some strained metaphors, and it wouldn't be too interesting to hear about the painstaking process of a thirteen year old googling "how to program a game". However, one metaphor that drove me crazy was this bit that Mr. Rules shoehorned into his Catch The Tuna explanation: "The lighthouse. Light/dark. One/zero. The fundamental process." I understand that "ones and zeroes" is a 75% of what people know about computers, sure. What I don't like is how it misconstrues lighthouses! A lighthouse doesn't blink on and off. Even in the background of that scene it's clear that the light is always on while it rotates in a circle. So it doesn't have two states of "one/zero" at all. You could argue it has at least 360 states, one for every degree of rotation, or more depending on how high-fidelity the kid has made the graphics in his MILF-banging simulator.
  10. Learn to speak Spanish, learn to talk German, soon you'll be Spermin'.
  11. Doctor Suessicide

    Episode 215 - The Country Bears (w/ Kulap Vilaysack)

    I would like to point out that immediately after they pick up Fred Bedderhead they go to Nuttville.
  12. Several people have brought up the question of the handwriting at the end. I think this movie is pulling a brilliant Minority Report style ambiguous ending: if you want the handwriting to show that the daughter has gained a new respect for her deceased mother, then you can walk away without thinking about it any further. Stop reading if that sounds nice to you. However, if you want to think about the real consequences of a grown woman who has been trapped in her dead daughter's body, keep reading. So you have just been busted doing drugs by your husband/dad who is having his own emotional breakdown over the question of what is going to happen to his family. You've just had a vision in which you see your own dead body fading out of existence. You now realize there is no going back. You finally understand your daughter's life, and you finally understand that she is gone. What do you do? Do you try to convince your husband to face this fact? He has rejected your attempts to remain a wife, and he has rejected your attempts to find a new life for yourself with this new body. He'll only accept one way out: the daughter's return. Conveniently, this is an outcome in which he: Accepts your life choices Doesn't try to bang you Supports you financially while you restart your life Trying to be honest with him would just result in a bizarre divorce, and he would probably try to have you committed to an institution. So, you convince your hus-dad that the daughter is back. You don't get hit by car, or struck by lightning, or anything. You just wake up one morning and pretend to faint dramatically. He wants to believe you, anyway. And then you carry on with your new life. It's a little tricky that you can't help but use your old-style handwriting, but you pass it off as an homage to your late mother. But at least you can bang that hot photography teacher on the regs.
  13. Don't slide into my DMs unless you're playing baseball with my Dungeon Master.
  14. About that, I was annoyed by the quality of the slow-mo. Was it just my copy, or did it seem like they shot the movie at too low of a framerate to produce smooth motion?
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