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Señor Gravy Stains

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About Señor Gravy Stains

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  1. It’s not that I don’t like your magic act, I just don’t think your child’s custody hearing was the right place for it.
  2. It’s not that I don’t like your breakdancing, I just don’t think your Grandma’s funeral was the right place for it.
  3. It’s not that I don’t like your slam poetry, I just don’t think your father’s intervention was the right place for it.
  4. If a Chandler searches online, and no one is around to see it, does he use Bing?
  5. We’re getting married at the place we first fell in love. The Burger King bathroom across from Port Authority.
  6. Gremlins to Ghoulies and Ghoulies to Critters. Please like, subscribe, and follow me on Twitter.
  7. I must unleash all these farts before this Zoom meeting starts.
  8. I’ve got a tickle in my throat, all the way down to my pickle and my scrote.
  9. I’ve got a couple of kids in central Pennsylvania. I like to call them my Hershey squirts.
  10. One if by land and two if by sea. Prescribe what you can doc, it burns when I pee.
  11. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but not while I’m wearing this suit of armor I stole from Medieval Times.
  12. Opinions are like assholes, I spend most of my day looking at them on the internet.
  13. Forget 72 virgins. Give me a cheeseburger in paradise, baby!
  14. Help me Jean Genie, I’ve got dung and pee in my dungarees.
  15. Coming this summer, The Hippo & The Titmouse. Starring the eponymous hippopotamus and the titular titmouse.