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Señor Gravy Stains

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About Señor Gravy Stains

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  1. Don’t sit there and pretend like you haven’t been fucking these robots, Howie.
  2. Could you do me a favor and pick up milk on your way home? It’s my favorite Sean Penn movie.
  3. My lawn care service will whack and blow in your yard, and we can take care of your weeds and leaves too if you want.
  4. Their rockets are red, their balls are blue. Spay or neuter your pets, or bob barker will neuter you.
  5. I may be a Johnny come lately, but I’m also a Johnny cum early.
  6. I don’t mean to be obtuse, but the juice is loose in my caboose.
  7. Need a new computer? Love acclaimed British singers? Dude, you’re getting Adele!
  8. I’ve got tons of cabbage patch kids, and by that I mean I make my kids live outside in a cabbage patch.
  9. I need to buckle down and get to work. All this Kung Fu Panda erotic fan fiction isn’t going to write itself.
  10. When the new Watchmen TV show premieres, we’ll all ask “who watches the Watchmen ?”
  11. Before I married your mother I was up to my neck in beaver. I fell into a beaver dam the day before our wedding.
  12. European, I’m a poopin’, why don’t we lay off the gluten.
  13. Opinions are like assholes, I spend most of my day looking at them on the internet.
  14. And I bet he won’t shut up about midichlorians either.
  15. I’m not blaming it all on the face tattoo, but having ‘FREE COSBY’ on your forehead didn’t do you any favors in that job interview.