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El Chico Malo

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About El Chico Malo

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  1. The Hardy Boys were hardly boys (when they traded condoms for all their toys...)
  2. "I got a hole in one!" said the fat man with the two donuts at the golf course
  3. Did you have to...did you have to...did you have to let it linger? Well what did I expect when you told me “Pull My Finger!”
  4. ‪If you say “Bloody Mary” three times in the mirror your wife will come in the bathroom and ask why you’re drunk at 7 am‬
  5. Monkey in the middle? Subway sandwiches you've outdone yourself!
  6. YES she's my cousin and YES she's my wife and YES we're in love and we're married for life!
  7. Slow and steady wins the race, and that race is NASCAR baby.
  8. They won't tell you this, but YMCA actually stands for Your Mom's Curvy Ass
  9. What? A calculator?! Not on my watch!
  10. Well boo-hoo-hoo! Cry me a river! You drank too much whiskey and ruined your liver!
  11. Oh the weather outside is frightful. And the fire is also frightful. I’m in Hell.
  12. From Rags To Riches: How I Made A Fortune Selling All These Filthy Rags That I Slept On To Buy The Best Mattress That Money From Selling All These Filthy Rags Could Buy
  13. ‪Never get between a gummy bear and her cubs...now THAT’S a sticky situation! ‬
  14. I'm Gonna Crawl Through The Shopping Mall 'Til Everyone's Seen My Dick And Balls
  15. Hey Kermit, go grab a plunger and unfrog that toilet for me buddy.