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E.Lerner

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Posts posted by E.Lerner

  1. Posted

    30 minutes ago, gigi-tastic said:

    Are we not going to talk about this creature and it's main form of attack which is biting people's genitals?! 

    Don't forget the meat hook to the perineum!

    Is the coup de grace on Jerry Orbach's junk a bite or a punch? Considering the speed and force Gnorm can tunnel through concrete with those rock gloves, it's either the former or he was showing remarkable restraint — Gnorm could have straight-up Bone-Tomahawked him if he wanted.   

    • Like 4

  2. Posted

    12 hours ago, Catfish said:

    Lastly the guy from the coroner’s office tells hard-pink that, “Apparently, a lot of people jump off that building.”  What?!?!  How many?!?! What does it take before some security measures are put in place?

    Of all of the ham-fisted explanations that the movie uses to paper over the transparently stupid plot, I liked this one the most. Despite acting extremely suspicious 100% of the time, Tanya has no trouble snowing Jake because he is explicitly very, very dumb. Annie is the smart one, so the writers felt the need to shoehorn an explanation that would make this extremely suspicious death seem more plausible. 

    However, saying that the building Mags lands near has had a rash of suicides makes this more suspicious, since it would make it that much more obvious she fell from a greater height.

    A skydiver reaches terminal velocity of ~120mph in ~1,500 feet. We don't know the exact altitude Tanya was flying, but that seems like a reasonable estimate. Someone thrown from a plane at that height would land with the velocity of someone who jumped off skyscraper hundreds of feet taller than the tallest building in LA. The area they're flying over is fairly residential, so even with a very generous assumption that the building in question was 20 stories, Mags would only be traveling at around half that speed had she actually jumped off it.   

    54 minutes ago, Catfish said:

    On second thought, maybe no one has ever really jumped off that building and it's just Tanya's go-to dumping ground for loose ends.  

     

     The only plausible explanation is that Tanya is a serial killer with incredible aim. 

    • Like 4

  3. Posted

    16 hours ago, Greg T said:

    With the exception of some high performance military jets, planes are designed to be inherently stable.  Turning off the autopilot wouldn't send the plane into a sudden roll or make it pitch back and forth like a fishing boat in a rough sea.  It would just mean it wouldn't adjust course for wind gusts.  Granted on one of the passes of Tanya's head, the plane's jet engine noise transforms into the sound of a World War 1 biplane's piston engine, so it's almost like they actively tried to be inaccurate.

    There's also abrupt transition to Jake's POV out of the windshield, where he appears to be flying slightly slower than Tanya is running. 

    • Like 1

  4. Posted

    On 9/12/2020 at 2:16 PM, GiveMeYourBaby said:

    If you want to do another satirical, low budget film then I would recommend Cannibal the Musical. The South Park guys made it while they were still in film school. It's much weirder and funnier movie. It might actually be too good for a HDTGM. 

    YES! My recollection is also that Cannibal actually pulls off the cheap, schlocky horror/comedy combo that Velocipastor falters on by half-parodying and half-emulating.   

    • Like 1

  6. Posted

    2 hours ago, My Password is Swordfish said:

    Analyzing this movie is like the movie itself, you just keep finding more and more until you're finding flaws everywhere and writing them on your glass room dividers presumably. 

    I'm surprised Jason didn't bring up Serenity, since that was the other movie he described as uncrackable due to the creators not figuring it out in the first place.  

    I had considered whether we were headed to a stuck-in-a-glitchy-simulation explanation, and was convinced once we got to the hologram. But there were at least a dozen other explanations they gestured at — all from other, better movies! — before settling on "absolutely fucking nothing."  

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

    19 hours ago, Fast B said:

    Also, I'm glad somebody (Paul?) mentioned The Matrix, because at some point while watching I turned to my wife and said, "THIS MOVIE IS TRYING SUPER HARD TO BE THE MATRIX, RIGHT?" (caps to depict me trying to talk over the insane noise). It's like they saw that movie and Hackers and took away all the wrong ideas.

    YES! I was actually surprised they didn't bring it up again after the 360 degree explosion.  The hair, the clothes, the raves, the sunglasses, the command-line-looking opening credits, the green tint to everything — but nothing was as egregious as the multiple different orchestral stings that appear to be lifted directly from Don Davis' Matrix score.  

  8. Posted

    On 7/31/2020 at 8:12 PM, Robert Denby said:

    I realize it’s a cliché, but this movie really needed an over-the-top Nick Cage-level performance from the lead. Edge plays it as if he’s taking this role seriously, which is completely wrong for this flick. Rest his soul, but imagine Roddy Piper in this role. It would make this movie transcendent. 

    This question is probably exclusively to Smigg: Would Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley been a better lead for this? I've not seen any of his film performances, but he struck me as the only choice for Nada if they were going to make They Live with a current wrestler. 

    And it speaks to the movie's tonal confusion that Edge didn't get to do much wrestling or comedy despite being the main character. It was honestly sad seeing him floundering up there as the straight-man; if the movie had actually leaned into being a Fast & Furious spoof, he might have had a chance to flex some of his natural charisma.  

  9. Posted

    On 7/31/2020 at 10:48 AM, pscudese said:

    Also we see the plane is departing from a HUGE airport where they would surely have to register it with the TSA.

    5Ys746n.jpg 

     

    This enormous airport with multiple terminals and parking lots is also in an "UNDISCLOSED LOCATION." I feel like the dozens of non-money planes actively taxiing in that establishing shot probably have a sense of where it is! 

    Also, for an exclusive, secretive operation, Money Plane is seemingly cool with hiring their flight crew off of Zip Recruiter and meeting them for the first time several minutes before takeoff. 

     

     

    • Like 3

  10. Posted

    22 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

    Ok butI feel like the Signore  was teaching a valid point in his art class that day. Not that you shouldn't have imagination, but that today's lesson was Realism or the study of figure drawing . I don't know much about art so maybe I'm wrong but I feel like there is indeed a time and place for painting/ drawing what is truly there and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think it's a valid lesson but The Signore is obviously an awful teacher. 

    I wanted to return to this idea, because "imagination" ends up coming back in a big way at the end.  We don't get a big reveal of what caused Michael's fright because it was entirely in his imagination. 

    The Signore is also not against his own use of imagination, since all of his magic paintings are of  imaginary landscapes.  He needs to be coaxed into painting a real place — the burned out mansion — though what he encounters there is implied to be the same as Michael's fright, and thus a product of The Signore's imagination. 

    Beyond the cape, wand-like brush, and the fact that he has demonstrated the ability to make his imagination come to life, Celine Dion's song makes it pretty explicit that The Signore is indeed a wizard.  I think we need to read The Signore's prohibition against using imagination in his class as more of a _warning_,  especially for Michael,  in whom he may already sense this latent power. Michael is also painting a scene of The Signore's dog being engulfed in flames, something The Signore would be understandably upset about if he suspects Michael is also able to manifest such scenes from his imagination.  

    Can we get Jason to weigh in whether The Peanut Butter Solution takes place in the Legion universe?   

    • Like 6

  11. Posted

    On 5/22/2020 at 3:50 PM, RyanSz said:

    So did anyone else notice in the first scene the Megaforce is revealed that one of the stunt drivers almost completely bites ass on his bike and crashes? It looks like his front tire hits one of the blown up bits of those balls they were shooting and lost traction to where he almost wiped out on the desert terrain.

    I noticed this and loved it. I get how retakes on that scene would have been particularly time-consuming and expensive, but there's those kind of flubs all over the movie. My favorite was when Ace obviously biffs the top of his flying motorcycle and gets twisted halfway around on the wires while executing his superhero dismount. 

    • Like 2

  12. Posted

    On 5/1/2020 at 3:59 PM, Elektra Boogaloo said:

    Anyway, I look forward to future articles about George RR Martin’s “petty” revenges on the show runners.  

    No way — he owes them big time. Either he limps across the finish line and benefits from the lowered expectations, or more likely, realizes that a neat, satisfying ending is fundamentally at odds with the story he's been telling and retires in peace on top of a gigantic pile of money.

    Personally, the most authentic GOT ending is Martin unceremoniously dying of old age without providing any sort of resolution, and I genuinely hope that is his plan.

    • Like 2
    • Haha 1

  13. Posted

    13 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

    Do they just slowly suffocate to death in this jizz? A regular space blaster, boom you dead. Bukkake blaster, coat you in jizz (which I can only imagine smells just wrong) and you slowly suffocate to death

    I think there's a line in there that establishes that the people encased in the goo are just knocked out, since they go back and free the rest of them some time later. Valerian's combination-breathing-apparatus-and-minature-spider-robot-deployment-device certainly does suggest that these would otherwise be extremely cruel weapons, rather than a form of non-lethal crowd-control more in keeping with the MĂĽleans' ultra-pacific vibe, but that speaks to the bigger problem Cameron H. is talking about. All of the technology is wonderfully imaginative and specific, but that specificity doesn't actually add up to a coherent idea.

    The biggest offender there was Big Market, which the gang alluded to. Everything being a hidden dimension is an extremely fun, interesting premise, and it's enhanced by the hand-held portal device — until all the rules immediately go out the window in terms of who can see and interact with what.

    There were a couple of instances where those wacky set-ups did pay off to me. The ridiculous and more-than-a-little-racist? big-butt-alien fashion-show being revealed to be an elaborate serving dish for Laureline's brains, complete with human-head-sized skull cracker was great.

    But the best was John-Goodman-the-Hutt's double-barrel pistol that is articulated so it can simultaneously point at two people who are sitting very close together.  EDIT: I see Cam Bert is way ahead of me on this one.

     

    • Like 3

  15. Posted

    Western audiences are probably most familiar with director Zhang Yimoufilms Hero and House of Flying Daggers — which also have super-colorful, hyper-kinetic wuxia fight scenes —   but the bigger reference point might be his directing of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games' opening ceremony If you've never seen it, it's definitely worth a watch, especially as it features a similar holographic scroll powerpoint presentation!

    Those big set-pieces with thousands of ornately-costumed extras were definitely evocative of some of the more mind-blowing elements of those ceremonies. And they're also in keeping with some of the big themes of Chinese communitarian unity and sacrifice, versus western individualism and greed. 

    • Like 1

  16. Posted

    100% percent agree with Jason and June's delight with Data's running fart gag. So much of my enjoyment of that joke comes from it being Spiner, so the fact that they referred to him exclusively as "Data" really nailed it for me. 

    I also think Spiner was channeling a particular TNG episode in his portrayal of Devlin Bowman. In The Most Toys, he's pitted against a sleazy, smarmy, somewhat dorky villain — Kivas Fajo, played by the great Saul Rubinek — who kidnaps people, fakes deaths, and otherwise plots and schemes to get his hands on the galaxy's rarest treasures.   

  18. Posted

    12 hours ago, Liz C. said:

    Bet he's pretty mad at this episode.

    Having worked in journalism, the difference between Wiseau and Breen really highlights the difference between what we called kooks and cranks. 

    Especially working in science journalism, my colleagues and I would get hundreds of emails, letters, phone calls, DVDs, fully bound manuscripts, etc., from people who had made shocking discoveries that were poised to turn the world upside down if they could only get the word out. Like Wiseau and Breen, these men (and they were 99.9% men) all had an incredibly high opinion of their own intelligence and importance, coupled with a sub-amateur-level grasp of their subject matter of choice.

    Kooks, like Wiseau, have eccentric, disconnected-from-reality ideas, but also have a childlike enthusiasm for exploring them.

    Cranks, like Breen, are at war. Even if they aren't explicitly alleging a global conspiracy to suppress their findings and ideas, they are on a mission and need to know whether you're going to help them or stand in your way. Cranks are the ones that will actually show up at your office and ask why you haven't been returning their calls.

    That's why June's line about women being harmed in the making of this movie rang so true to me. The sex scenes in The Room were also gross and self-serving, but there is a sinister aspect to Breen that I just don't pick up from Wiseau.       

    • Like 7

  19. Posted

    14 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

    It would technically not be illegal for the boardroom therapist to contact Emily if Dylan has signed a waiver form putting her as a contact the therapist could share information with. 

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but does Boardroom Therapist actually share any information about Dylan with Emily? She's definitely the one who initiates the contact to tell him Dylan is not taking his medication. Ultimately, she ends up telling Boardroom Therapist about Dylan's hacking to keep the pills flowing, but I don't recall BT telling her anything about Dylan or his treatment.  

    The Dylan/BT/Emily relationship is made more confusing by the fact that it seems like Dylan is refusing to take psychiatric medication (for obvious reasons), but Emily is apparently abusing the pain medication that was prescribed after Dylan's accident. I think that conflation adds more to the theory that this is broadly anti-drug, anti-alcohol, anti-psychiatry movie — anything that interferes with Breen's messianic brain is in league with the forces of corruption, fraud and hypocrisy.   

    • Like 1

  20. Posted

    Regarding Dylan saying "I know it was you" after Emily commits suicide: 

    My impression is that has to do with Emily telling the boardroom therapist about Dylan's research into the world's most secret secrets in exchange for drugs. Ultimately, her guilt about this betrayal is what leads her to kill herself. 

    I think this is also why Dylan lies to boardroom-therapist about seeing close-talking-folding-chair therapist — boardroom-therapist is an agent of the government and corporations, whereas close-talking-folding-chair therapist seems to be aligned with the stone-spirit. 

    The actors playing those therapists are Gloria Hoffman and John Henry Hoffman and have no other credits on IMDB. Seems like there may be some more research in order!     

    • Like 1

  21. Posted

    On 12/27/2019 at 6:33 PM, gigi-tastic said:

     I've always read you STIR a Hanky Panky instead of shaking it like he did. 

     Interesting that they got the ingredients right — Daniel laments the sorry conditions of the bar after not being able to find the Fernet Branca — but the preparation wrong. Drinks that are 100% spirits (ha!) should always be stirred. 

    For those playing at home, a Hanky Panky is:
    1.5oz Gin
    1.5oz Sweet Vermouth 
    2 dashes Fernet Branca 
    Stirred and served up in a large coupe or martini glass, garnished with an expressed orange peel. 

    It's a variant on the Martini's predecessor, the Martinez. There are a lot of different historic formulations but here's a good one:
    2oz Gin
    .75oz Sweet Vermouth
    .25oz Luxardo
    Dash Angostura Bitters 
    Also stirred and served up in a large coupe or martini glass, garnished with an expressed orange peel. 

    • Like 1

  23. Posted

    If Scott Aukerman is indeed the mystery guest for this studio episode, I hope Kulap is there as well so we can continue the discussion of 90's fashion from the Country Bears episode.  Demi is, of course, timeless, but Douglas looks like a straight-up cartoon hobo for the entire film and is yet presented as an equally powerful sex magnet.  

    • Like 3

  25. Posted

    I know Kate Hudson was originally eyed to play Tessa, but I can't help but think that the role was originally written for Louise Linton. 

    shutterstock_editorial_9224878a_huge.jpg

    Beyond Mnuchin's involvement…just look at her! The hair! The gloves! The racist undertones to her animosity toward Julia that I was convinced the movie was going to steer hard into, which Kerry Washington's near-casting also suggests!

    And most damning of all, Linton's total willingness to lean into her public persona as an obscenely wealthy psychopath. Beyond straight-up Cruella Deville-ing it with sheets of uncut money and insulting people for being poor on Instagram, there's the matter of her upcoming directorial debut:

    Quote

     

    Here are some more words that also don’t seem like they should go together: Linton wrote, directed, and stars in the film, Me, You, Madness, which is about a thief, played by Ed Westwick/Chuck Bass, who robs a Malibu mansion, only to discover that it belongs to a serial killer, played by Linton.

    According to the Daily Mail, Linton plays a “bisexual psychopath killer” who is “uninhibited” and “very carnal and confident in her sexuality.”

     

    Steve Mnuchin should probably hide the thousands of fireplace pokers he presumably has in their castle. Or not, because fuck Steve Mnuchin. 

    • Like 6
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