the constant pardner

I just got a great deal on a pair of baby shoes, never even worn!

If I may interject, the correct word is hanged, not hung. Your father hanged himself. But I digress.. so you're staying in this evening?

If eating ass is weird, consider me Al Yankovic

Heads up, my first guest is a real scumbag. I recommend skipping the first half hour of the show.

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, shoot a milky wad tonight

I've never wanted a submission to win more than I want this one to win

Dag nabbit

The ice man cometh, but he makes sure the ice woman cometh first

Rectum? Damn near scrotum!

Let's not beat around the bush... I'm here to skeet upon your tush

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang! I have to level with you here folks, this week's guests are pretty bad, even by our standards. But there's always next week right?

If at first you don't succeed, put new socks upon your feet. But if at twice you fail once more, rub your dick against a door.

Unfortunately this week we have decided to put an end to our long-standing tradition of picking a new catchphrase submitted by our listeners. The catchphrases were becoming too vulgar and childish. Now go fart on your boner you fucking puke face.

Mr Bungle

A hand in the bush is worth two in the pink