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the constant pardner

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Everything posted by the constant pardner

  1. I just got a great deal on a pair of baby shoes, never even worn!
  2. If I may interject, the correct word is hanged, not hung. Your father hanged himself. But I digress.. so you're staying in this evening?
  3. If eating ass is weird, consider me Al Yankovic
  4. Heads up, my first guest is a real scumbag. I recommend skipping the first half hour of the show.
  5. Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, shoot a milky wad tonight
  6. the constant pardner

    Did someone fart in here or are we finally having that leftover turkey?

    I've never wanted a submission to win more than I want this one to win
  7. the constant pardner

    Let’s duck-rabbit this fuck habit.

    Dag nabbit
  8. The ice man cometh, but he makes sure the ice woman cometh first
  9. the constant pardner

    Rectum? Damn near scrotum!

    Rectum? Damn near scrotum!
  10. Let's not beat around the bush... I'm here to skeet upon your tush
  11. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang! I have to level with you here folks, this week's guests are pretty bad, even by our standards. But there's always next week right?
  12. If at first you don't succeed, put new socks upon your feet. But if at twice you fail once more, rub your dick against a door.
  13. Unfortunately this week we have decided to put an end to our long-standing tradition of picking a new catchphrase submitted by our listeners. The catchphrases were becoming too vulgar and childish. Now go fart on your boner you fucking puke face.
  14. the constant pardner

    It’s not funny ... my ass is on fire

    Mr Bungle
  15. A hand in the bush is worth two in the pink
  16. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree was 19 years and 364 days ago. Today is a shitty day to plant a tree compared to every day since then. You had twenty years, what the fuck were you doing?
  17. Don't shit on my leg and tell me it's raining shit
  18. Well spit on my dick, it's free-handjob Nick!
  19. If you are bad, then I'm your dad. If you're the bomb, then be my mom. But if you must queef, then we've got beef!
  20. the constant pardner

    Penis as peen does

    Penis as peen does
  21. If my dog was as ugly as you, I would shave his butt and train him to understand that people love him for his companionship, quirky personality and most of all his bangin shaved turd cutter.
  22. I'll bet you dollars to donuts this economy moves toward a fried pastry-based currency
  23. Exchanging commodities and/or labor for money is my business, and business is good
  24. The CDC can C Deez nuts. They must wash their hands though.
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