ProlapsedFamous

Born too late to explore earth and born too soon to explore space. But hey, we've got Tony Danza and fidget spinners.

Nanny nanny foo foo

So what if I left the scene of the accident? It's not like you can recapitate

Darkness makes the light shine brighter. That flashlight stuck in my ass must be blinding.

A horse is a horse of course of course. I'm pretty confused as to what you thought it was. It may be time for glasses.

As the 4th of July approaches please remember to have your pets spayed or muted.

Fruit flies are attracted to fruit. Butterflies are attracted to butter. The whole thing just makes total sense.

I like my porn the way I like my horror movies. With lots of screaming, bodily fluids and black men being finished first.

My Roomba turns 13 tomorrow. now I need to throw it a bot mitzfah

For a change of pace this episode will be limited to just 3 9/11 references

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy today sadly lost his long battle with cancer.

I don't know much about ASMR but that Lou Gehrig sure is unlucky

Tennis elbow is a pain but I'd take it any day over bocce anus

I don't know how to say cunnilingus in sign language and something tells me I should never learn.

Axel Foley is a cop. Mick Foley is a wrestler. Dave Foley is a kid in the hall. Foley Moly is that family talented.

If possession is nine-tenths of the law then that means those 4 fellas I met at Applebee's last night each own 22.5 percent of my virginity.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now if only we knew which fruit worked on werewolves

Comedy is subjective but my balls aren't cause they are no joke

My dog really loves chewing tennis balls. My apologies to Andre Agassi. Feel better soon.

I'm truly a cutie patootie with a bootie. Please send nudes

Only time will tell when Conan O'brien finally finds a friend and leaves the podcasting for the rest of us.

Perhaps the secret to happiness is in our hearts.

Who's a good dog? You're a good dog! What a good girl. Koda, can you speak? Koda, speak! Oh what a good girl! Want a treat? Go to your dish you good doggie.

A dollop of daisy a day defines a defunct and disastrous dependency on daily dairy in your diet you daft dullard.

Call me old fashioned but really I'm 2 teaspoons simple syrup, 1 teaspoon water, 2 dashes bitters, 1 cup ice cubes, 1.5 fluid ounces bourbon whiskey, 1 slice orange and 1 maraschino cherry