Like my dad always told me… if I can touch them, they’re real.

[Like my dad always told me… if I can touch them, they’re real.]

Thanks dad. 

[Nature, much like my parent's dog, abhors a vacuum.]

.

[Prophylactic? Afraid not. I'm strictly amateur, just in it for the love of the phylactic.]

Antiphylactic, Fond Du Lac on your lower back, trick. 

[Synergy is the opposite of a rootbeer float.]

. 

[Like dad always said... "If I can touch 'em, they're real".]

.

[Highway. Cougar. Danger Zone.]

Highway, cougar, danger zone.

[Some never wear shorts, some never wear jeans, some never use hammers that don't have ball peens.]

.

[Get a better head of hair at Gregg Laird's Hair Share Extraordinaire]

.

[That chardonnay had great mouthfeel, but how does shorty's neck feel?]

Short-AY-EEE.

[I'll catch you off-guard and make you feel all vulnerable wit disarm.]

Catchph Raise.

[I don't know you, but I know how that throat sound.]

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

[Give me the meat boys and free my pole, I want to get topped on your podcast show.]

And drift away...

[Time flies when you’re having fun, and also when you’re not having fun!]

@fckrsstlmhff