Bummer that Conan missed out on getting a a school named after him, but his turn might come up again. If it does and he wants to go a less masturbatory route with the mascot, my suggestion is the Eisenhowers. The Conan O'Brien High School Fightin' Ikes. School football helmets could all be painted to look like Ike's bald head; basketball uniforms could alternate between NATO commander's uniforms for home games and sensible grey suits for away matches. The possibilities are endless. I suppose the person wearing the big, friendly, oversized Ike mascot costume on the sideline at games could pretend to masturbate, sometimes, if that seals the deal.