Tony the Poopbutt Butterfly

The porgs on my porg farm stopped reproducing because they can’t stop fucking my Furby collection.

Our administrative office better sign up for a secure shredding service because Janet just bought an electric guitar brooch for her cardigan.

In the mood for cheap meat, but we're all out of bologna and I was castrated in a farming accident.

My eating habits have been described as pornographic. Please hire me.

Nice one! CBB bump!

When I say use me like a moving van, dear, I’m saying wrap some meth in a carpet square, shove it up my ass and let’s make for Canada.

We lack genitalia, Ken. No matter what we do, we will never be able to piss on one another.

Hey nice one! CBB Bump!

Kinda embarrassing that I have two pocket vaginas attached to my wrists at all times that I sometimes have to use as hands.

If Ivy League alums shit on a paper plate and wrote an algorithm about it, I’d send them a buh-billion bitcoins.

Orange you glad I didn’t say Bo-na-na fan-na, fo-funt?

The bidet may be better than toilet paper, but nothing is better than butt scootin' on shag.

Warm 5 lbs of ground beef to room temperature and sculpt yourself a pair of good-lookin’ meat boobs.

Usually I don’t have to explain the mechanics of xenomorphing my ass.

Holy moly, is that two catchphrases in a row? Very nice. CBB Bump!

Thirded

Frodo and Bilbo wore that ring as if Sméagol dick hadn’t been all up in that thing.

Didn’t pull out in time, so my dolphin wife said “I hope you didn’t do that on porpoise.” Then I said “it’s more like I did it IN porpoise.” And that’s the story of how we had our dolphin-human hybrid baby.

Wow, Spock, the carpet really does match the drapes, though that second pair of eyebrows makes your pointy dick look sorta angry.

Numbers are basically letters that can’t spell anything useful, like “buttginas”.

Medusa, I've met someone else. Her name's Slytherina and she lives on the back of your head.

Shoutout to buffalo for being the first LGBTQ allies, raising strong and sexy bi-sons for nearly 2 million years.

Some sex was had with some of the cars in this parking lot, but I can’t say which ones ... OK it was the Kias.

Let me remove my La Brea-ssiere and show you the fossils in my tar pits.

Hey, hey!! Nice one. CBB bump!