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StopEatingBees

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Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. A baby gave me a high five the other day. That kid is gonna be SO COOL when he's born
  2. Do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can their gentle pendulous swaying hypnotize me to stop smoking?
  3. It's not the size that counts, and it's not how you use it. It's your relationship with your father
  4. Hot girls get all the good summers
  5. All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel. I set him up & recorded it all. This feels illegal.
  6. Hey buddy, don't blow smoke up my ass. Smoke goes in the FACE. VODKA goes up the ass.
  7. 15 minutes could save your immortal soul from eternal damnation, but I guess car insurance matters too
  8. The horny bird catches the clap, wrap your worms fellas
  9. It is not enough to ketchup, others must turd
  10. That's one small step for a man, one WHOA WHOSE BANANA PEEL IS THIS
  11. Life is like a box of chocolates. Leave it in a hot car on a summer day and it's all over.
  12. Don't put words in my mouth, unless that word is pizza, penis, or whiskey
  13. Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis, I had a TurboGrafx but it wasn't worth a piss
  14. Get it? Got it? Gonorrhea.
  15. If you love something, let it go. If you like it as a friend, PLEASE just throw it a handy? ONCE? TAMMY?
  16. I named my dog Fire and lost him in a crowded theater. Guess he's gone forever.
  17. It's 5 o'clock somewhere! Not here though, so I guess I'm just an alcoholic.
  18. Your butthole may be analog but these fingers are digital
  19. You put your hands upon my throat When you choke, I choke, we choke
  20. I submit catchphrases with my left hand, that way it feels like someone else is a failure
  21. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. But perhaps yes!
  22. You don't have to be cooking spaghetti to throw it at a wall, live your life
  23. Dance like nobody's watching, and poop loudly in public stalls
  24. A jellyfish stung me on the tongue, gimme that sweet golden medicine
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