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StopEatingBees

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Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. If ninjas are so sneaky then how come we know about them
  2. Are you without sin? Don't live in a glass house? We need your help to break some nerd's bones!
  3. On the one hand, I know stealing is wrong. But on the other hand, there's a shitload of awesome rings I stole.
  4. Someday, on my death bed, I'll regret buying myself a death bed.
  5. Red Bull giveth wings, and Red Bull taketh them away
  6. A paper bag may cure your hyperventilation now, but a plastic one will cure it forever
  7. Dating me is like eating at Burger King. You could find something better, but do you really deserve it?
  8. I installed a window on the Schrodinger's cat box, YOU'RE WELCOME
  9. The Snyder Cut is my favorite part of the Pretzel Cow
  10. Non-Fungible Tokens are just digital pogs, and I for one won't fall for it again
  11. Look me in the eye and tell me you really understand popcorn
  12. All hands on deck. All knees on deck. All heads on deck. All asses up.
  13. A leopard cannot change its spots, except for Ol' Sharpie McSpotschange, but he's a real dick
  14. The easiest part of a journey is the second step. The hardest part is my dingdong
  15. Is there a doctor in the house!? No. Of course not. Because YOU wanted to be a comedian.
  16. If you eat enough burrito filling, you become the burrito
  17. I killed and ate that cereal leprechaun. He was tragically delicious
  18. Welcome to the bunghole We got lots of poop We don't have anything you want It's pretty much just the poop
  19. Where do I see myself in five years? Selling your ass out to the Robot Manhunters, human scum
  20. Take me down to the Paradox City where the grass is green even though that seems impossible
  21. Thanks to inflation, a bird in the hand is now worth five dogs playing poker
  22. It was all a dream, I used to read Highlights magazine
  23. Confucius says, "Please stop misattributing quotes to me in an offensive pseudo-Chinese patois"
  24. I feel you, Burger King. I too have an Impossible Whopper that nobody wants
  25. Lots of people ask me if Pepsi is okay. No one ever wants to know how I'M doing.
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