Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. Would anyone like to buy some drugs? I, Scott Aukerman, sell illegal drugs to make ends meet
  2. Eat, Pray, Love. Good book. Even better reverse mantis porn.
  3. Yo mama so generous she opened a Gmail account so she could donate the spam to her local food bank.
  4. I heard Urkel contracted polio. It's a rare condition, this day and age.
  5. Y'all muthafuckas need Cheez-Its
  6. Sorry Mario, but the princess is in another castle! Why'd they also kidnap seven dick-shaped Toads, you ask? Figure it out
  7. Are your boobs abusive parents, because they're raising a dick
  8. Kids are like pancakes. The first one seems all right, then they get harder and harder to eat after that
  9. Legend tells of a man who stayed on the phone for 100 minutes and received free car insurance
  10. Before you judge Dr. Frankenstein, jog a mile in his shoes. That way, he can reanimate the dead body you find whilst jogging, plus you have his shoes
  11. To paraphrase the famous last words of Abraham Lincoln, "Ow, fuck"
  12. When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back. And it wants feet pics
  13. The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut, but what I just did to your mom's face is both
  14. Said Simple Simon to the pieman, "Let me taste your wares!" Said the pieman to Simple Simon, "You're 18, right?"
  15. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. This will strengthen your punchin' muscles. NOW you're ready to kill the bastards.
  16. Rudolph, since your nose is red, go be my brake lights instead
  17. In Soviet Russia, Sandman enters you. Sleep with one eye open!
  18. To err is human, to create a boulder so heavy that even you yourself can't lift it is divine
  19. An apple a day keeps the doctor away! Except Dr. Applefucker. It's just a surname but they still don't keep him away.