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Content count
819 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
29
Posts posted by StopEatingBees
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Yo mama so dead that after sex I rolled over twice and she was dead
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It doesn't do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to twerk
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These primordials aren't much for conversation but they sure make a tasty soup
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I guess when I heard Cupid would shoot his love arrows at me, I didn't picture a metaphor
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If 2’s company and 3's a crowd, what are 4 and 5? Pedophiles. Stay away from them.
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Thanks to autocorrect, my girlfriend is sucking my clock. I had no idea I was into this.
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I'm more than just a pretty wiener, you know.
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"Eat a bag of dicks" is such an antiquated insult. Oh no, free food, what a drag
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When I finally found Waldo, he had a visible erection, and I forgot why I'd been hunting him
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Maybe I'm not perfect. But they say practice is perfect, and I've been called a "practice guy"
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Star Trek was totally unbelievable. I mean, come on. ALIENS?
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Therapy only gets me hard like 1 out of 5 times
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Captain America ripping a log in half isn't the only thing that gets me hard, but it never fails
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What did the envelope say to the stamp? Nothing, they were both victims of 9/11
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At the base of the column of the spine, you're coccyx
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Just yelled "Beetlejuice" into a cave, now we wait
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My favorite method of execution would be "beaten to death with my own dead body."
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I was gonna go freshen up my coffee but I decided I'd just get older instead
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God's will stipulates that before the meek can inherit Earth, they must spend one night in this haunted mansion
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Don't tell me whether or not I bury survivors, you don't know my life
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I made a Play-Doh bust of Joe Rogan, is it still non-toxic?
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A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? Smoking.
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I told my daughter she wasn't hot enough to get kidnapped, but I guess she showed me.
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Bought an everything bagel because I wanted to see my dead dad again. He wasn't there though.
There are no stupid questions. There are no stupid answers. None of your friends can see or hear you.
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There are no stupid questions. There are no stupid answers. None of your friends can see or hear you.