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Everything posted by Kevllis

  1. I’ve lost three family member to depression- Depression is the name of my pet alligator
  2. For sale: brand new baby shoes, worn only once in a tiny motorcycle accident
  3. Hi yes, I’d like to order the liver
  4. Lick the tree, and try not to pee, it’s Comedy Bang Bang
  5. Remember remember the..... day this podcast happens to fall on
  6. Your source for the saddest moonwalking around
  7. And John is in the stall, getting fucked by Paul....? all while there’s an easy, steady drum...? all I know is I want to imagine Paul and John fucking, and George and Ringo playing bingo
  8. Do I change this to: Just Disappointed Money with Jim Cramer ?
  9. And John is getting fucked by Paul
  10. He’s not the mad hatter, he’s just the disappointed hatter
  11. I didn’t know what limestone was, looked it up, and now I do..
  12. I can only cum if I’m being physically stimulated, or, in some cases, mentally stimulated
  13. Lucky for you, you can’t smell a podcast
  14. I like my women like I like my coffee- better with analogies than I am
  15. My favorite Pringle Stack is just to half the ratio of any flavor with plain
  16. Butter me up and call me a biscuit, and also put a t-shirt and a hat on me that says “biscuit”, because I’m a biscuit
  17. New Catchphrase suggestions: first drafts only!
  18. Why do all my improv friends hate my style of “shooting down all their suggestions” while we’re riffing? I do that with my Boston comedian friends all the time....
  19. For all you know, this is hell, pal
  20. Quick tip for losing weight while really working out your abs- vomiting after meals
  21. Kevllis


  22. Business in the front, business in the back, really it’s just a haircut
  23. Pain is just fear leaving the body..... wait, no, someone definitely just gut stabbed me with a knife