I’ve lost three family member to depression- Depression is the name of my pet alligator

[I’ve lost three family member to depression- Depression is the name of my pet alligator]

I’ve lost three family member to depression-

Depression is the name of my pet alligator 

[For sale: brand new baby shoes, worn only once in a tiny motorcycle accident]

For sale: brand new baby shoes, worn only once in a tiny motorcycle accident 

[Hi yes, I’d like to order the liver]

Hi yes, I’d like to order the liver

[Lick the tree, and try not to pee, it’s Comedy Bang Bang]

Lick the tree, and try not to pee, it’s Comedy Bang Bang

[Remember remember the..... day this podcast happens to fall on]

Remember remember the..... day this podcast happens to fall on

[Your source for the saddest moonwalking around]

Your source for the saddest moonwalking around 

[George and Ringo playing bingo. Where's Paul gone? He's on the John.]

And John is in the stall, getting fucked by Paul....?

all while there’s an easy, steady drum...?

 

all I know is I want to imagine Paul and John fucking, and George and Ringo playing bingo

[Disappointed Money with Jim Cramer]

2 hours ago, TheloniousThicc said:

Why would you do this to me

Are you mad???

[George and Ringo playing bingo. Where's Paul gone? He's on the John.]

14 minutes ago, Pugfugly Ate He Fore said:

One note; I like where you're going with this, just doesn't *quite* have the melodic quality I'm looking for.

Pfft, typical Paul

[George and Ringo playing bingo. Where's Paul gone? He's on the John.]

And John is getting fucked by Paul 

[Disappointed Money with Jim Cramer]

Do I change this to:

Just Disappointed Money with Jim Cramer

?

[He’s not the mad hatter, he’s just the disappointed hatter]

He’s not the mad hatter, he’s just the disappointed hatter

[I didn’t know what limestone was, looked it up, and now I do..]

I didn’t know what limestone was, looked it up, and now I do..

[I can only cum if I’m being physically stimulated, or, in some cases, mentally stimulated]

I can only cum if I’m being physically stimulated, or, in some cases, mentally stimulated 

[Lucky for you, you can’t smell a podcast]

Lucky for you, you can’t smell a podcast

[I like my women like I like my coffee- better with analogies than I am]

I like my women like I like my coffee- better with analogies than I am

[My favorite Pringle Stack ®️ is just to half the ratio of any flavor with plain]

My favorite Pringle Stack is just to half the ratio of any flavor with plain

[New Catchphrase suggestions: first drafts only!]

New Catchphrase suggestions: first drafts only!

[Why do all my improv friends hate my style of “shooting down all their suggestions” while we’re riffing?]

Why do all my improv friends hate my style of “shooting down all their suggestions” while we’re riffing?

 

I do that with my Boston comedian friends all the time....

[For all you know, this is hell, pal]

For all you know, this is hell, pal

[Quick tip for losing weight while really working out your abs- vomiting after meals]

Quick tip for losing weight while really working out your abs- vomiting after meals

[Hey..]

Hey..

[Business in the front, business in the back, really it’s just a haircut]

Business in the front, business in the back, really it’s just a haircut

[Pain is just fear leaving the body..... wait, no, someone definitely just gut stabbed me with a knife]

Pain is just fear leaving the body..... wait, no, someone definitely just gut stabbed me with a knife 

[With great power, comes great abuse of that power to harm people who annoy you]

With great power, comes great abuse of that power to harm people who annoy you