Quasar Sniffer

Personally, I saw Oldboy soon after it was released in the US on video, but that line fucking killed me the first time I heard it, and I got a good ol' hearty lol in this recap. I think this is sort of emblematic of how the podcast has legitimately changed the way I watch movies. When a movie is less-than-good, I am constantly on the lookout for things that are "next level bonkers" and the like, much in the same way that Jason compares Demolition Man to the daughter-fucking in Oldboy. Not that Oldboy is bad, but the correlation between the two films, at least the perceived similarities, is definitely bat shit crazy because in Demolition Man, the movie seems like it's setting up Sandra Bullock to be Sylvester Stallone's daughter.... but then they fuck).

I think this movie is appealing to the people who believe there is a "War on Christmas," you know, the same kind of person who refuses to believe in climate change or, Jesus Christ, fucking Evolution for that matter. You have to expect a certain amount of self-delusion. That's kind of why I want this movie done; it's part crass commercialism to a specific target audience and part messianic egomania.

"THIS IS SOME OLDBOY SHIT............ spoilers for Oldboy."

My grandmother bought this for me on VHS when I was a kid, much to the chagrin of my parents at the time. No one had ever heard of it, but hey, it had a kid in it and a dog on the cover so sell it to children!

I love that Lauren Lapkus has somehow managed to make her pronunciation of "babyyyyy" a catchphrase shared among all her characters. Well, maybe it only happened once of twice here, but I like to believe it contributes to the shared CBB universe! Also, Tenacious D has been bringing me joy for so many years now. Everything... I just wanna hug them, you guys. Ok, time to end this creepy post.

We live in a country in which old, rich, conservative white guys really do have secret black children, yet this movie still feels stupid and racist

Bump because this movie remains just as insane and the opposite of good as ever, but also because a documentary on the madness has been made. Color me interested. http://insidemovies.ew.com/2014/08/21/lost-soul-island-of-dr-moreau/ Poster: http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2014/08/21/lost-soul_674x1026.jpg

Yeah, I'd nominate O'Halloran for Worst Guest, all things considered. The other "inside" guests like Trejo or Lexi Alexander, who were all not only honest and forthright, but full of good humor and hilarity, O'Halloran just came off as a blow hard at best. Even if his stories weren't full of bullshit, he was bragging about being large and being from a connected crime family which helped him intimidate beloved actor Christopher Reeve. Good job? O'Halloran is the exception that proves the rule though. Every other guest has just... been great. They've all brought something to the show, from the quiet insights of Nathan Fielder to the LOVEABLE LAUGHING ALL THE TIME of Pete Holmes, from the befuddled Eddie Pepitone to the inside nerd knowledge of Cameron Esposito. It's all fucking good. So fucking good. All of it. I mean, just looking through the episode list, we had ED FUCKING BRUBAKER as a guest! Holy hell. For me, a comic book nerd, that's like getting Martin Scorsese on a podcast to talk about mob movies. The Fade Out #1, by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips, on sale now!

Pretty much any movie with Clint Howard in a weird hairpiece is GOLD. Do this movie.

"Jack Kane: A cop who does things his own way..." Oh, now I'm interested! Here I was thinking an action movie would have a cop who does things by the book.

In light of the weirdness of that South Korean baseball team going to the trouble of constructing robot fans rather than recruiting real ones, here's a legitimately heartwarming story about how one South Korean's love of baseball is so strong, it brought him to Kansas City and throwing out a first pitch: http://www.kansascity.com/sports/mlb/kansas-city-royals/article1184827.html

I thought Seth Green was/would be perfect as the legendary Duck as well. It's indicative of how good this movie is; it makes the best possible choice at every turn, even when presented a seemingly impossible set of roadblocks. A talking tree with a three word vocabulary? Sure. A bipolar raccoon with a penchant for destruction, one-liners, AND self-doubt? Why not? David Bautista providing comic relief? Yes, we can do that for you. If James Gunn wrote, directed, or even just produced a Howard the Duck movie, I would sure as shit pay for a ticket.

Why, thank you! Speaking of Voltaire (yes I did just type that sentence on an Internet message board), maybe for Sharknado 3, we could have a Dead Authors Podcast/HDTGM crossover? Someone better call HG Wells! http://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/7/b/7/b/7b7b6c543c221931/Faulkner.jpg

I guess this means that the Universe of the Sharknado movies is a Universe in which the Sharknado franchise does not exist... which means that, even with all the terrible Sharknadoes, it is the best of all possible Universes.

Maybe it's just because I listened to this on my way home from seeing Guardians of the Galaxy, but from the Jesus Christ Superstar rap to the John Carpenter film discussion, I'm pretty sure Paul F. Tompkins is in possession of some sort of Infinity Stone of comedy. It's the most plausible explanation for his preternatural hilarity.

...and the latest in the ongoing chronicles of major corporations attempting to use hip hop to sell their products. Also, is it possible Busta Rhymes is currently dead and in Hell? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHQ2sHyA9SI

The same thing with the Brothers making fun of people who shop at outlet stores or live in trailers; they just hate the poor.

Honestly, David Warner is a God Damn hero. His ability to be great in both the best of films and the most horrendous of dregs is truly remarkable. To do it for so long, at such a high level, and in such a variety of projects, he must love what he does and he is wonderful at it. Anything he's in is better for having him there (and a lot of the stuff he's been in has needed that). 10/10.

Fuck everything. The actress who plays the Stereotypical Black Cook/Nanny in this movie, going by the name of "Mother Love," is the same woman who played the same role in Mr. Nanny. This movie must be done.

Yikes. Looks like a cross between Double Dragon, Thunder in Paradise, and the production values of Birdemic.

I have to agree with justinmh05. There was at least one point in probably every scene where I wanted to tell everyone involved in this.... thing to go fuck themselves. That theme song at the beginning? The stunt-casting of guest actors? Those were total "we're in on the joke guys, aren't we hilarious?" moments. Shut up.

I honestly feel disgusted after just watching this trailer.

I find myself perpetually uninterested in these bad-on-purpose, "post ironic" SyFy movies and other various monster mash-ups. Someone (or some group of people) intending to make a piece of shit and ending up with a piece of shit is way, way less interesting than someone who has a passion for movies and has a story they want to tell... but ends up with something like Gooby. At some point, someone LOVED the story of Gooby and pursued it to completion. That took a lot of work... but the end result is like a nightmare that comes from a psychotic break.

I fall somewhere in the middle. It’s ridiculous, out-there, and enjoyable like the previous Mad Max films, but I feel it’s also the weakest. It’s pretty inconsistent in both tone and pacing, especially when the little kids get involved, but the THUNDERDOME sequences are amazing. Plus, I like Tina Turner as a villain, especially since it’s such a different direction than Lord Humongous. Not the best example of 80s action, but definitely not the worst either. It could have used more of the insane misanthropy of the previous films, but that got sacrificed for the sake of franchise marketability. It got…. Ewoked, I guess. Still, would it make a good episode of HDTGM? Probably.

There are a lot of suggested (and non-suggested) movies that have elements worth skewering in a podcast, but maybe wouldn't be worth doing an entire episode on. Be it the racist "jive-talking" robots in Transformers, the fact that The Conqueror exposed people to fatal amounts of cancer-causing radiation, or anything from various M. Night Shyamalan movies, all this stuff is terrible/hilarious, but there is only a finite number of podcasts to cover them. Plus, the hosts might not feel it worthwhile to watch the four hour or whatever shitstorm that is a Transformers film just to make fun of it later. What do you all think about an episode where the hosts pick certain worthwhile/terrible elements of movies to discuss/make fun of? It would satisfy a lot of the Bad Movie suggestions that might otherwise never be covered. Thoughts?