ChaseRoper

Dawsyn is 9 today! Holy cow, I can't believe it. When he was a baby, I would hold him up ony shoulder and he would try to climb over it and hang down my back. When we first tried to move Dawsyn from his crib to a big boy bed, we had to prop baby gates around him or we would never stay still or in bed. He's a risk taker, an adventurer, and is loaded with imagination and ambition. Even though he's only 9 today, I can already tell that he's going to be a great man someday - probably sooner than...

Dawsyn's football team has 5 coaches. Each with a kid and nephew or family friend on the team. Those kids never get subbed out and also don't understand football and/or are troublemakers during practice. This could be why we lost right now 28 - 0. Coaches on this team need to understand leadership more than football plays right now.

Dear assholes and misogynists; I hate you http://t.co/DfDE3o3K

Dear bees, Circling my head is interpreted as a request for a swift death.

Dear decorators, NO KID ever says, "I want a nautical bedroom!"

Dear Every Retailer, I'M NEVER GOING TO TAKE THE SURVEY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DANGLE IN FRONT OF ME OR HOW LONG YOU MAKE THAT RECIEPT.

Dear Mr. Coffee, FLUSH-ABLE FILTERS.Your welcome.

Dear North Carolina, pretty sure Jesus thinks the majority of you are assholes.

Dear pharmacies, I'm asking if you can get me the good sudafed, for an actual cold. Not for my rolling meth lab. #MethylamineIsBetterAnyways

Dear School Buses, SHOW UP WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.

Death is looming. Enjoy it! RT @morgan_murphy what he said. RT @warrenellis: @pattonoswalt It's your birthday? Have a great one, mate.

Decided on this year's Halloween costume: Christian Grey.

Decided to give both my boys hair cuts right before school. I guess because I hate myself?

Decompressing at home after Sasquatch. Big thanks to @peteholmez @toddbarry and @howardkremer. My story for @earwolf is coming soon!

Dick Clark was alive?

Did Kony leave candy under anyone's pillow last night? #kony21012 #konycandy

Did Santorum win NASCAR?

Did the Internet figure out if rape is bad yet?

Did you miss yesterday's episode of The Stay at Home Dad Cast with @ScottAukerman? Well, here it is! (also on itunes) http://t.co/NAL5xDUj

Discarded shirt on a trail. Am I on 48 Hours Mystery!? http://t.co/0V1Kcy66

Disney's Chimpanzee movie would have been vastly different if it was Disney's Bonobos. #crazymonkeysex

Do all clocks tick as loud as mine is? #insomnia

Do you enjoy The Stay at Home Dadcast? Would you consider kicking a buck or 2 my way? Click http://t.co/fYOCyuq3 - to help me out!

Does anyone have an ugly Christmas sweater I could borrow for tomorrow night?

Domo Origat-DRAW 4! http://t.co/eW6C0MU2