ChaseRoper

I have a new #FF for all of you podcaster / podcast lovers. @PodcastHulk. do it.

I have decided that from now on, Christopher Lee shall be known Count Wonkuman (@dougbenson) http://t.co/wPv3zpVZ

I have had to click through 4 different "Contact Us" sub-domains so far in my search to find Verizon's phone number. #annoyed

I have interest in seeing him in it if that helps sway anybody! RT: @iamcomicmovie Hey @peteholmez - any interest in being in my next doc?

I have planned a movie marathon of horrific proportions to celebrate EVIL DEAD Day with my 4yo! #ashwednesday

I hijacked this bar's jukebox from my iPhone. Lots of dubstep and Vanilla Ice happening. Small crowd around machine trying to figure it out.

I hope "closet time" is mentioned! @parenting "Help! My kid is so bossy!" Here's what to do:

I hope all of my followers are following @EveryTweet_Ever. I can't stress this enough. #ff

I hope you are all following @IamComicMovie. Do it.

I hung up on my mom the other day. It's ok, she's nuts. - http://t.co/YAKDcDDz

I just became the mayor of The Ropers on @foursquare! http://t.co/iN2Q8qhoQ6

I just can't think up a good etch-a-sketch tweet. [pours sand into laptop, closes it and shakes]

I just committed suicide. April Fools! I'm doing it later today.

I just gave half a sandwich to a homeless person. Eat your heart out Paul Ryan! #gop #tcot

I just google "vegan eat their own poop." I should get off the internet now.

I just lined a baking dish with cookie dough, stacked Oreos on top of it, then covered it all with brownie mix and nobody can stop me!

I just made an awesome huge salad that I am super excited to eat. I don't think this overly optimistic status update is doing a very good job convincing me.

I just made my kids' dinner by playing Chopped: Home Edition

I just ousted @juss10 as the mayor of Chehalis Western Trail on @foursquare! http://t.co/wnuEBzRQ

I just ousted Stewart L. as the mayor of Clearwood Community swimming pool on @foursquare! http://t.co/G6RBSTwI

I just realized that I don't have take the biggest bite possible when I eat my food. I'm 32 years old.

I just set down my ipad at Starbucks to do something on my iPhone. Is this what being pretentious means?

I just stirred melted butter and lemon juice to my pancake batter. Also, I hate this tweet.

I just unlocked the "Fresh Brew" badge on @foursquare for checking in at coffee shops! http://t.co/iwf8MPay4R

I keep finding tacks on the floor that my 6yo pulled out from posters and threw during a tantrum. I'm finding them with my feet.