ChaseRoper

This is the sexiest pic I could ever post online for my wife. @ the Ropers http://t.co/uKC4MPD2

buzzfeed: Matt Romney in the audience of tonight’s debate.I didn't watch the debates but I'm pretty sure th… http://t.co/QA5MNeuT

You are all going to want to see my boy dancing when he doesn't think anyone is watching. http://t.co/Y6NUD9xT

I piss my wife off when I sign her out and myself in on her accounts marked "Sabrena" on the iPad!

I almost ran over a chipmunk this morning. Just THIS close to having an awesome day.

Behind the scenes of Ep45 Ghost Busting! http://t.co/vDmv4WJr

Sleep or watch Benedict Cumberbatch as Hawking on Netflix?

I just gave half a sandwich to a homeless person. Eat your heart out Paul Ryan! #gop #tcot

Pretty sure I want one. #verismo @starbucks, want to sponsor my podcast? @ Starbucks http://t.co/iYAObwoP

Standing in long line to pain relief for horrible toothache. Watch the news. Might murder someone.

"I really enjoy the work of @JohnRossBowie but not enough to watch an episode of Monk." - Me.

Men's body wash should mention if it contains menthol before I scrub certain sensitive areas. "Sensitive areas" = genitals. #axe

I read an excerpt of my wife's 'Fifty Shades' book. So that's what it felt like when she found my web browsing history.

Starbucks is bad at venn diagrams. http://t.co/Kl3vhKTM

THIS JUST IN: - I think Tyler Perry just walked into my Starbucks! Tyler Perry lives in Olympia, WA right?... http://t.co/Zh97M0QX

Seattle, WA isn't loaded with hipsters. Those are actual homeless people.

This legend should have died w/Andy“@TheTonyClifton: Fat girls need love too... I'm just too busy getting my dick sucked by the dime pieces”

You guys won't be laughing when people die in Hurricane Sandy but I will because I'm a horrible person.

1: why does it have to list all the sizes I'm not? 2: When did @nerdist get his own pant leg style? http://t.co/42OsPchg

Everybody go listen to H.G. Wells interview J.R.R. Tolkien on The Dead Authors Podcast. A benefit for 826 LA.

My klout score just climbed from 56 to 57. My life is turning around!

If you are taking an online college biology course, search online for videos of your Osmosis & Diffusion lab. #LifeTips

The bar I made fun of has just exacted its revenge on me via those sliders I ordered last night. >& (

Chase's "When Did Everyone on Twitter Become a Publisher" Daily is out!

Photo: The lonely backup of a boy refusing to be second in line at the #busstop http://t.co/ntTwVqNA