ChaseRoper

My real ghost story - The following account is from my childhood and took place roughly between 1987 - 1995. … http://t.co/MZrp3Oto

“@marriagetoday: Marriage seminars are good. Private marriage seminars are better. ” zero marriage seminars are the best!

Nobody is as proud of my wife lately as me.

"You all want me but I'm too fast and always out of reach and eventually I will kill every last one if you!" - Time. Boy, Time is a dick.

Sometimes your car can make it another 34 miles after the gas light comes on. #lifetip

Writing an essay on an aspect of Alexander the Great's life. Focusing mostly on his influence of my favorite Otter Pop.

Christmas stuff gets sold earlier every year. cc: @EveryTweet_Ever

My burrito lasagna was a hit. Suck it every other parent. http://t.co/1LMmoCjV

Oh, my Biological Anthropology book included this Venn diagram for monkey orgies. That's cool. http://t.co/SsZLrTq8

Guess which Lonely Island song I just got to sing!

Reading text for my Biological Anthropology class and realizing that I don't give A SHIT ABOUT MONKEYS.

Photo: #FailWhale http://t.co/YG03P5Oi

Just halloweened up my twitter avatar. So I guess nothing important going on today.

Apparently, not a lot of my Facebook friends have seen Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Station!

Of all the things I make for dinner, the only thing my kids request is Hamburger Helper. #parentingfail

Photo: Ready for a field trip to the pumpkin patch! http://t.co/aEscZ3jt

One day we'll look back and laugh about Frankenstorm. Especially about that time it wore a tuxedo and sang "Puttin' on the Ritz."

This is all my kids ever want or talk about. #skylanders http://t.co/GKcsteDI

Photo: “Stop acting like you are hitting me!” “But I’m not hitting you.” http://t.co/Ee8pY1ba

Today's episode of The Stay at Home Dadcast features a true ghost story from my childhood. Listen in this tweet! http://t.co/dz8HJkd8

Star Wars VII to star Bruce Willis as Han Solo and Michelle Pfifer as Leia. The turmoils of galactic marriages ala Reiner's The Story of Us.

Photo: You guys. This episode is so serious. Go get it wherever podcasts are at. http://t.co/uq2lLCaz

“@chrisbrown: #CarpeDiem Dublin http://t.co/fP3RW3qT” notice how the 1 lady dancer is WAY in the back, out of fists reach? #teambreezy

Ok you know what. I've got to cut some facebookers loose. Facebook won't show me updates I really want to see and I'm too lazy to reconfigure settings. So Dear People who I never interact with: we will continue to not acknowledge each others existences. I think we shall both sleep fine over this!

Photo: More from Zombie Car 2012 http://t.co/TU2nOjzr