Henry

I love Michelob Ultra, it's the one brand that suggests pairing beer with exercise. I mean, sure it sounds weird... until you try it. So many people complain about having to exercise, but if you chug enough beer beforehand you won't even remember doing it.

Wow! It was an honor just to compete, but it's a thrill to have this wicked awesome crown! At first I thought it was a normal everyday bejeweled crown, but on closer inspection I found that it also has a built-in bottle opener on one side and a USB port on the other side. It's like a Swiss Army crown, stylish and practical! Everyone raced a good race and this crown is dedicated to all of you.

Hey, everyone. I just remembered... Starting tomorrow I'll be spending some time at a haunted castle. It's true, and I may not be up on ghost facts, but from what I've seen in movies, I'm maybe 100% sure that ghosts want to try kill people by means of mirror based jump scares and several other tactics. I'll do my best to avoid mirrors, slowly opening doors, and anyone who says "come play with me". If I turn up dead on the forums please avenge my death by either secretly killing the offending ghost (do it secretly so you don't get in trouble, I don't know what the statutes of limitations are on murdering if they're already dead) or by getting the ghost arrested so that it goes to jail forever. Thank you, and goodbye. If I don't get ghost murdered I'll be back soon.

I've definitely heard of "Groot's root" but nothing beyond that. And I wasn't being sarcastic, I really do want to know. I appreciate you being here, urinalcake. (Not the first time I've said that)

Gaah! I can't wait until page 3

Heh, got 'em on a technicality. Turns every nah, into a yah. That's just how science works.

Slaps? Like how the tree slaps an apple out of Dorothy's hand in that movie about Dorothy not caring about a diminutive person hanging themself in the background, but it turns out that it was just Ted Danson the whole time? Hehe, another tree reference (also, it's opposite day)

Gonna punch up the idea by suggesting that we also change it to "houndbook", this place just goes gaga over wolf related terms.

Even though there was no "official" claim to begin with, I sure hope sriracha eventually comes after Frank's Red Hot sauce for putting their "I put it on EVERYTHING" idea in their ads. Bonus bad move: Frank's Red Hot sauce ads depict a swear being used by an elderly woman. Thankfully the swear is bleeped so we don't have to hear it. Yes, of course the idea of an old woman using that kind of language is a never-ending gold mine of shocking humor, but this time they've gone a little too far with combining it with claims that rightfully belong to a different hot sauce. Shock value may be enough sell to kids, but not me!

I'm actually an old hand at the ol' death races, and even though I've toned down the death stuff these days I was quite a force to be reckoned with back in the 90s. So much so that they even made a biographical video game series about my life. The first one was the only accurate one, and I disavow the way I was portrayed in the follow ups. I'm obviously not the same person anymore which may explain how at the final stretch I fell for the classic "Um, excuse me. I just need to sneak by really quick." racing move. I responded with "Oh, of course. Pardon me." moved aside and then realized what happened. I did an "oh, shucks" style snap of my fingers and gave a "you got me!" style chuckle. The Ostrich masterfully implemented the move, and I tip my hat to he and everyone on a fantastic death race.

"It's Tuesday again!" - Me from the not so distant future (I'm West coast)

Your grandma is one of the only people who has a room in their house that they call "the main room". But if you ask me, the "main room" is the bedroom, heheh. Because sleep is important, and it also has a TV.

Here's some helpful tips to my fellow racers. 1) Drill holes through both the front and rear windshield to reduce air resistance. 2) Fill your tires with helium, but not too much or your wheels will barely even touch the road. You gotta maintain some contact with the asphalt. 3) Yelling "vroom" will make you feel like you're going really really fast. It doesn't necessarily help, but it certainly doesn't hurt. 4) Most importantly: have fun! 5) Second most importantly: Safety I guess, like a seatbelt or whatever, if you want.

I have to admit that I was on Sean and Hayes' side and thought it sounded sketchy when they were describing the gif place, but it looks like Kevin was telling the truth. And there is a slide!

Throughout my podcast listenings I've heard very few podcast outros as good as Greggy's. It's well made, it's enticing and there's a bit of danger in keeping with the "wolf" angle. It's pretty much everything that has ever been popular since forever. I honestly don't understand why it isn't the new outro.

The hair's looking fabulous, guys! I always appreciate getting hair styling tips from the stars.

Thank you ostrich. I honestly had no follow up for that, and I apologise to everyone else for keeping you all waiting. I assure you that I still maintain my punk AF credentials. Everything is always more fun with a reasonable level of not giving a heck.

Another update: I am punk AF and don't give a lick about any forum etiquette rules. I'll post four, heck, even five times in a row if I feel like it

Update: I ended up buying a "U Talkin' U2 to Me" and a Wolfpop t-shirt because why not, it's $5 and someday I might run into someone who thinks it's funny. I didn't follow through with my original plan. Them's the breaks.

Now I feel bad, I'm going to buy a shirt about both of their podcasts now.

I'm sure Scott has heard the Wolf Cool sign off, but has continued to refuse to acknowledge that Sean says "baby" too. Hey Scott and Paul. I've purchased 3 Hollywood Handbook t-shirts and zero comedy bang bang or spontaneous nation t-shirts. Take that! Jk, I still love you and I'm in love with you. (reference to one of the HH t-shirts I have purchased)

I've thrown my hat into the Orville lottery, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I can almost taste those Washingtons now!

Yep, that definitely sounds like him. The more he keeps denying who he really is the more I just feel embarrassed for him.

I mean, have you ever seen Bob Dylan and a robot in the same room at the same time? Sure, I've been to plenty of parties where both have appeared, but never together. Something always happens. Bob Dylan will explain that he can't have a drink because drinks have too much liquid in them, then he'll check his phone (which doesn't even look like it's on) and be like "I must accept this request for interaction." He leaves, but then five minutes later... what do you know? A robot comes in! He inevitably goes and picks up a guitar and plays "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll" in it's entirety, and then says "Oops, I shouldn't have done that!" and then rolls out of the room. A few minutes later Bob Dylan walks back in and says "Hello fellow gatherers. I just heard that a robot accidentally played one of my songs. That makes me want to react unpleasantly towards it because I hate robots. I'm glad I'll never be a robot nor have I ever been." What happens next? Start at the beginning of this paragraph. It's literally the same, beat by beat over and over again until he says "yawnsound.mp4, I should be getting to sleep mode."

I found this old newspaper in the attic today, and after skimming it for a minute I noticed a rather peculiar ad. I've enhanced it so that it doesn't really match with the other tones on the page, but that was just to make it stand out and easier to find. It's not just a lazy editing mistake or something, it's a real newspaper ad.