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cdawg87

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Posts posted by cdawg87

  4. Posted

    I know I'm so late to the game here, but hooooly shit. I finally watched Breaking Dawn (with Rifftrax) because this is one of my favorite episodes and I was like, "why not?"

     

    Having Rifftrax made it a thousand percent more enjoyable and I thought the battle scene was pretty dope. I hate to admit this, but I'm with Jason - I got a little emotional during the battle when the werewolves were dying...I mean, they look like big dogs to me and seeing animals (even fake ones) die kind of gets to me. There was one wolf that got it's neck broken and another wolf saw it and got all sad and I was like, "fuuuuuck, how's a bitch supposed to fight when their lifelong friends are getting their spines cracked?!"

     

    I would definitely recommend watching this with Rifftrax; there are so many great Aro jokes and they're really great at pointing out all the shit that this episode got into, but with more specificity and clarity as to why so much of it is batshit insane.

     

    And Lee Pace, giiiiirrrlll. Even with those stupid vamp eyes, bitch was looking fine as hell.

  6. Posted

    I would LOVE if they did Hemlock Grove...the only problematic thing is that it's thirteen 45 minute episodes and that's a big undertaking. I was thinking that maybe they could just to the first 2-3 episodes (which is a shorter amount of time than some of the actual "films" we've endured) and leave it up to us to finish the rest of it if we so desire (spoiler alert: we won't). I got 2 episodes in and had to call it quits. I'd love to hear their take on it. Everyone in it fucking sucks.

  7. Posted

    I'm in the minority of people who really don't like Kevin Smith, so I knew I'd be a little disappointed before even starting the episode. I don't mind industry talk, but when it's half the show I get a little frustrated. I'm down for 25-30% industry talk and the rest about the movie. I mean, I sat through WWW, so I'd like to hear more about it. Personally.

     

    The director's edition episodes have a really great balance between the two - I especially loved the Punisher: War Zone episode.

    • Like 3

  8. Posted

    Hi Paul-

     

    I remember you saying something about a NY live show (that was quickly retracted) - does that brief mention mean that you and the gang will be doing live shows all across these fair United States? I know as big ol' Hollywood people, the scheduling must be (in Jason's words) bonkers, but I'd be super excited if you guys came to Chicago. I know the coasts get a lot of love from other live podcast shows, so don't forget about us Midwesterners! We're all really polite! And Chicago has deep dish pizza and Ann Sathers cinnamon buns (and a bunch of other cool stuff - You, Jason, and June could go to The Art Institute and do your own "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" museum montage).

  9. Posted

    Considering the idea that no one ever talks to themselves in a mirror has been brought up a few times, I was thinking something like Worst Dramatic Use Of A Mirror.

     

    Also

     

    Worst Dancer

    Worst Best Friend

    Worst Couple

     

    I love the idea of The Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award. For this year (since it's obviously going to Nic Cage), maybe there could be a vote as to which HTDGM covered Nic Cage movie contains the Nic Cage-iest attributes that explain why this award was made and could therefore be the gold standard to which other performances are judged upon in the following Howdies/How-Didies/Literallys (I think Howdies is the way to go for the record).

     

    "The 2012 Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award goes to....Nicolas Cage in [insert film]"

  10. Posted

    A category you guys definitely need: Worst Science.

     

    Omigod yes. Sticking a light in the back a dude's head to project the last image he saw is the craziest bunch of meshugas ever.

     

    I just finished watching this and I can't wait for it to get the HDTGM treatment. There were some wildly uncomfortable sexual innuendo scenes between Will Smith and Kevin Kline that made me simultaneously eye roll and groan with disgust. But I think the WORST sexual innuendo has to be handed to Loveless for implying that he built a robot dick in order to bang ladies in place of the dick he lost with the rest of his bottom half (uh, how's that for worst science? keeping a man with half his body gone alive?). I just...I can't/won't.

     

    I also chuckled pretty hard at the obvious green screen moments out in the desert. I too had a bunch of Burger King WWW franchise toys (the Jim West/Artemis sunglasses were wicked ugly, but I wore them anyway because hey, free sunglasses and also I was 12) and I definitely remember that I enjoyed all those BK meals far more than the actual movie.

     

    P.S. Selma Hayek was terrible.

  11. Posted

    I'm still pulling so hard for Wild Wild West. I second Congo and Super Mario Bros big time.

     

    May I also submit The Haunting. Oh boy. I saw that movie a bunch of times as a teenager and it's so bad, I've blocked most of it out except for Owen Wilson's death scene. When I started watching Six Feet Under and Lili Taylor was introduced as a character, I went "Oh shit. It's that chick from The Haunting."

     

    Then there's Stealth. It tried to be Top Gun. It failed.

     

    If we're talking Michael Bay, I think Pearl Harbor is the way to go because not only does it suck, but it capitalized on a giant tragedy.

     

    And just as a side note for why Wild Wild West NEEDS to be done: Will Smith publicly apologized for it.

  12. Posted

    One of my big problems with TDKR is that, although physically menacing, Bane just fell completely flat for me. He and Batman had no chemistry. My friends couldn't stop gushing over this movie and their response to Bane was that he was compelling because he's the only antagonist that could physically over power Batman. That doesn't really get me excited though. The Joker was such an awesome character because he was wreaking havoc for the sake of it, regardless of who he was screwing over (be it Batman, Harvey Dent, or mobsters) because he thrived on chaos. Even better was The Joker's chemistry with Batman (and everyone else pretty much) - Ledger fucking owned that role. Bane's motivations seemed kind of trite and I couldn't take him seriously with that Darth Vader meets dandy fop voice. AND IT WAS SO LONG. I fell asleep for a bit. The good thing was that I saw a matinee, so I only paid 7 bucks.

     

    On to what I really wanted to say: FUCK B&R. I watched this with Rifftrax and it was still hard to finish. I remember liking it when it came out, but that's because I was fucking 10. It makes sense that Schumacher would yell "This is a cartoon!" on set because the way Freeze and Ivy talked was the most embarrassing and preposterous thing I've watched in a really long time. I like Uma Thurman and her part in this bummed me out so hard. Clooney phoned in the entire role. I was also so confused as to why Batman and Robin were buddies to begin with. There was no explanation. At all. Like, why is this dood chillen with an eccentric "playboy" millionaire? Oh, and DIAMOND HOCKEY? What was that?!?!? I can't wait to hear the episode on this because this movie was so fucking awful. I honestly don't know which is worse at this point, Battlefield Earth or B&R.

  13. Posted

    Am I the only one still trying to keep "honkey" alive?

     

    Dog, I throw "honky" out left and right. It's my faaaave.

     

    On a different note, I live in Chicago and now I always want to say I'm from Chi-Tilly even though it's the WORST thing I could possibly call my fair city. It'll forever be stuck in my head thanks to this ep. Not that it's bad...Chi-Tilly is so bad it's good. But actually really bad.

  14. Posted

    I seriously hope they do Wild Wild West because it is SO absurd (or bonkers, as Jason would say) and Kenneth Branaugh's character is like, wicked racist right to Will Smith's face. That giant robot spider? Nutso.

     

    If we're talking Nic Cage here (which we always are), I offer up Bangkok Dangerous. It should be done just based off the name alone.

     

    Finally, I suggest Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. What and dumb, dumb, duuuumb movie.

     

    It took me about 2.5 days to get through Godzilla. I was bored to tears and I kept getting distracted by other things (like just about everything).

  16. Posted

    Some choice reviews:

     

    From the NYTimes:

    "But for the panting masses of ''American Idol'' fans who imagine winning and going to live happily ever after in Lotusland, the message couldn't be clearer. You, too, might one day end up starring in the motion picture equivalent of Cheez Whiz."

    From the Washington Post:

    "Industrial-strength insipidity diluted only marginally by bad music and worse dancing."

    From the Austin Chronicle:

    "Moulin Rouge ... Chicago ... From Justin to Kelly ... two steps forward and then about 16 steps back for the film musical."

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  18. Posted

    How terrible were those orangey/pinky sunglasses Cage was rockin at the beginning though? I was like, "don't even try to make us think he's a bad ass."

     

    The word "leverage" brought me unwillingly and unhappily back to Battlefield Earth.

     

    By the time the twist ending came where the brosef just ended up being crazy and never ended up fucking Nicole Kidman, I was like "whoooooo cares???"

     

    This movie sucked.

  19. Posted

    Oh buh-rother was this a stinker!

     

    I watched it as a part of "bad movie night" at a friend's house and it was so bad that we didn't even have that much fun. I even fell asleep for a bit.

     

    Okay, so the main ghost looks like Darth Maul with a shitty wig.

     

    Patrick Wilson - I don't get it. He's a good actor! He's been in a lot of shite lately though. What's the deal?

     

    Anyway, this movie sucked to the point where I was Jason Mantzoukas angry.

  21. Posted

    I would like to see the version of this movie where what actually happens in real life goes down, which I've witnessed several times over as: one person (usually the lady, but not always) ends up in love with the other person, which destroys their friendship and often causes a rift between mutual friends because they have to pick sides and agree as to "who's right/who's the bigger asshole/who's acting like a crazy bitch". No one leaves happily ever after, no one enjoys their Milk Duds because they're passive aggressive, and everyone wants their 12 bucks back at the end of it.

  22. Posted

    Okay, sorry about the misunderstanding. Perhaps you could have elaborated on your sentence. I actually love Camp, but it's really bad! I mean, come on..."Do You Wanna Go Out And Play The Game" is absolutely ridiculous! What does that even mean? It's hysterical because the movie is trying to be serious, which is why it's terrible, which is why I love it. I mean, HDTGM actually likes some of the movies the choose, yalls.

  24. Posted

    Canada's given us so many singers and actors
    From Neil Young, both Sutherlands, and of course William Shatner
    But "Green Lantern" brings shame upon Canada now
    While Ryan Reynolds chugs milk from this lame-summer-cash-cow
    Why couldn't he just keep playing the lovable Van Wilder frat bro?
    Ryan Reynolds, your ex-fiance Alanis said it best: You oughtta know.

  25. Posted

    I don't think it's the right kind bad movie for HDTGM....Because I can tell you exactly how this got made: Small budget, terrible script, horrible acting, and a complete disconnect from the realm of reality on Tommy Wiseau's part. The best part of this podcast is that the movies have big stars, over inflated budgets, and often times a lot of hype (Battflefield Earth anyone?). The Room is fitted more for the Rifftrax crew (which exists, if you go to their website and purchase for like 2 or 3 bucks. It's worth it). Going into the theater watching your favorite big time commercial movie stars only to see them crash and burn in a terrible movie while you pull your hair out in disbelief and yell, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?" is what HDTGM is about.

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