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Snake

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Posts posted by Snake


  1. This is apparently the 3rd worst Metascore film of the year and it is sporting a 9% on RT.  The reviews are absolutely brutal.

    Considering that the #1 and #2 worst movies are the completely tasteless the Haunting of Sharon Tate & that John Travolta movie directed by Fred Durst where he inaccurately plays an autistic stalker, this is be the best choice of the three.  The other two are just not as fun to make fun of from what I can tell, but I am not watching those first two under basically any circumstances.  Plus this has Middleditch in it and normally that would probably make them shy away, but lord knows that guy doesn't give a fuck.  He'd probably even be willing to be the guest.

     

     


  2. I laughed when the talk of how big the brain-hard drives were at 80GB, but could be doubled to 160, my old PS3 literally dwarfs the capacity that they felt a brain could withhold in the mid-90s.

     

    It was the worst! I could only keep my save files for like three days, tops. Just leaking data everywhere.

    • Like 1

  3. I want June to do the "I want" speech (ugh that I just had to type out because everyone has only ever heard of this movie, nobody has ever actually seen it).

     

    What the fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on??? All my life, I've been careful to stay in my own corner. Lookin out for #1. No complications. Now suddenly, I'm responsible for the ENTIRE FUCKIN WORLD! And everyone and his mother is trying to kill me. If - if - my head doesn't blow up first.

     

    (Off camera: Maybe it's not just about you anymore)

     

    Listen - you listen to me. You see that city over there? That's where I'm supposed to be. Not down here with the dogs, and the garbage, and the fucking last month's newspapers blowing back and forth! I've had it with them! I've had it with you. I've had it with ALL this....

     

    I WANT ROOM SERVICE!

     

    I want the club sandwich. I want the cold Mexican beer. I want a $10k a night hooker! I want my shirts laundered.....like they do....at the Imperial Hotel....in Tokyo.

     

    (and scene)

    • Like 3

  4. http://youtu.be/dO9BFGHTrC8

     

    I've watched Miami Connection so many times with Rifftrax that I'm not sure I'm going to have much to say about it, but I will say this, I'm jealous of anyone who's watching it for the first time.

     

    Sweet they have been a little lackluster on their movie choices lately, good to see this one popping up. I still can't believe that they're doing Ninja Terminator when Jade, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Miami Connection, the Happening, etc are all still out there. Why subject Broad City to that dogshit?

     

    Also that song always makes me wish that my friends wrote songs about what good friends we are and then play them live in our city's hottest nightclub.

    • Like 6

  5. Wait, did this guy just casually toss off the fact that one of the reasons why he had to flee to Israel was that his mobbed-up life experiences had led him to know too much about the Kennedy assassination???

     

    If ever there was a statement begging for a follow-up question, surely that was it.

     

    Yeah I got to the doctor getting a boner during the robbery and that wasn't even like a top 5 craziest thing


  6. This movie is awful but it's totally watchable because Candy was a force. There is no other person in the history of earth who could have carried this. I will go one further and say that even if those weird, quasi-scientific sci-fi theories are true that say that man was seeded here and there are other civilizations of what are essentially humans with massive populations in other galaxies, none of them could have carried this either. And yet, I've watched it like 3 times and will probably watch it again.

    • Like 1

  7. I have had a soft spot for Clive Barker since I was a kid. There was a PBS special that would always run on Barker that I can't find now that made me love him. It had a story about how he volunteered to be the special effects guy for the high school class play (my guess is MacBeth). Anyways, he apparently didn't interact with anyone on the play until opening night and then had the head ready on a platter for the show, but said they could only do it once. So they get to the part in the play when the head is presented and the actor pulls it up and then all this disgusting guts and stuff come pouring out the bottom. The actors all got nauseous and a bunch of people walked out. He was a real inspiration to me as a kid just from that story. I used to make movies with my friends on a cam corder back then and the whole part was to make cool deaths after that.

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