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Status Updates posted by ianbauer

  1. "Behind every great woman is a great big be-hind!"*snaps 3 times, slaps his butt* - Benjamin Franklin @nottjmiller

  2. "We're actors. We don't over react, we just react more than we should." Kristen Wiig as 60's actress, Mindy Gracin

  3. “@HelloSomebody: Who are some of your favorite tv or movie dads?” Tobias Funkè

  4. A word to your Mother: When I send out event invitations on Facebook it's because I'm inviting you.

  5. Anytime someone says "Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full" I ALWAYS think of Bah Bah Black Sheep. #ocd

  6. At @starbucks with my HP. What a loser I am!

  7. Bathroom at the GAP is out soap. Also, there's no sink or toilet, just a mirror. I'll just use the floor?

  8. Christians should show love to homosexual people. Or as Jesus would refer to them, "people."

  9. Dude on the way to my car said "we need the rain." Never thought of it that way. Also he was wearing only boxers. #TrueStory

  10. Every time you feel your phone buzz but don't get a text or email, an angel gets its wings.

  11. Facebook asks "What's on your mind?" to which most people respond "Me."

  12. Figured I'll put it out there. Anyone wanna give me a ride to NYC on April 16th?

  13. First time I heard yogurt has culture I was all "Hold up. Yogurt got the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social group?"

  14. Google, you've outdone yourself.

  15. Got 5 tweets in my draft folder waiting to be unleashed to the world. Hold tight, little buddies.

  16. Had a dream I spoke on the phone with Arianna Huffington.

  17. Hold up, your church's event is gonna have light refreshments? Why didn't you say so!

  18. Honey Boo-Boo Child is a type of bear, yes?

  19. I am older than I once was and younger than I’ll be but, that’s not unusual. After changes upon changes we are more or less the same.

  20. I dislike songs about human love for God. Filthy rags. Sing about Gods love for humans, that's worth singing about. - Matt MacDonald

  21. I don't know why people get so excited about music. It's just a bunch of dudes playing G and C and other chords.