janus1172

Googling: "Breath-rite strips for cats" isn't solving my problem.

I hope your house doesn't burn down ;-)

Chicks with big gums! What's your deal?

The Ting Tings won a Daytime Loscar Reward. Most ;-)

Did you know: Most brothers and sisters have not slept together. Most ;-)

We goof so right with @themattlittle (from @LeftHandedRadio & @UCBTheatreNY) about friends getting us in trouble http://t.co/eAIDXqAs

Audio: Matt Little (Left Handed Radio, UCB NY) joins us as we share stories about friends getting us in... http://t.co/cMDLZYbU

When I grow up, I want to be a picture of a squid trapped in a hospital.

My bucket list? I just drew a picture of a sexy Mario Bros coin. Like with hot legs and a bust and pouty lips.

This is your last day to step up & be the best! Donate to the #MaxFunDrive. Now I'll shut up about it until next year. http://t.co/3CDpCsqJ

Crush this #MaxFunDrive goal to the ground! Donate like me to support podcasts you love #JJGo #MBMBaM #SPY #JJHo #TSPod http://t.co/utlOFdB4

I can see through time and space. Watching a fat man in the distance slowly fall down a small hill.

I'm so over sassy wedding invitations with photos and shit. Unless you're a gay or lesbian couple; then you're exempt. That is adorbs!

More sports would be exciting on TV if they would just live dub in women's tennis grunts.

Then you'll be a neckbeard. Probably have a huge beer gut. And a really hot girlfriend. And everyone will hate your facebook pictures. #nojk

Ep 7 of my podcast with @ThePolishNinja features amazing stories of blackout drunk times. Stealing, vandalism, fighting http://t.co/N8RJJxZj

FUCK! Now I have to get eye surgery. There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's, my ass.

It's so nice outside. I love it! I love getting DRENCHED in my own sweat when I walk back from work. THE BEST!

Job interview tip: Kiss a picture of Dumbledore every 5 minutes or so. This will let them know you've got heart AND imagination.

Job Interview Tips - Here’s some job interview tips: 1) Tuck your shirt in. Then thread it out through your... http://t.co/dMjZvPk3

If you do a lot of mushrooms on a regular basis you probably end up dreaming about installing wiper blades and reading humidifier reviews.

IF U THINK UR CAT HAS ITCHIER EARS THAN MINE I'D LIKE TO SEE U FCKING PROVE IT!!!!!

I don't have a joke for it, but: fingerboarding.

LOVING comments on local VA news Facebook about aftershocks from quake. "It's been months! Must be a new one. What are they hiding?" #nojk

Woman came into Target asking where the toys are. I wanted to scream: "You dumb bitch! Hills!"