xoValeriexo

Hi Pauly. I met you at a Limp Bizkit after show in 1999. I couldn't get into where the band was hanging out because I was 12. Do you remember me?

Today I was watching The Voice with my parents and my dad's like: "Wait a minute, did he just sing 'I'm gonna funk you up'?" "He said 'uptown funk you up.'" "I don't think that's appropriate. It almost sounds like he's saying I'm gonna fuck you up." "Yeah, that's what it's supposed to sound like." "I don't think that's appropriate. I went into Carl's Jr. once and they had a sign on the wall with a picture of a burger dripping grease and it said 'drip happens.' I wanted to go up to the counter and ask 'do you know what word 'drip' is replacing?'" "They know." "I don't like that kind of talk...not around my food." That's probably the weirdest thing that happened today. Now might be a good time to remind you MY DAD ROBBED A BANK.

Charlie Murphy-Brown, your mom is adorable and your dad looks like a Pete Holmes-level nice guy, which makes me think he might be a child molester. Not saying he definitely is, it's just something you might want to look into. trkybrgrho, do your parents still smoke weed? Your dad looks like a "new country" singer. Your mom looks like a really cool, laid-back fourteen year old. Agata, I'm unna buy 'em all. Don't let anyone else at 'em until you let me at 'em, okay? Now let me at 'em.

I actually like that you posted her photo. I don't think it's that weird. I prefer that kind of positive invasive photo taking rather than the stuff my fb friends post, like a video of a female body builder at a coffee shop with the caption "That's really a man." She's fly like the planes in the air.

I just lost an hour looking through those photos of myself again.

I just went to look through photos to see if there was one I could post of a family member, but I ended up looking at old photos of myself for an hour instead.

Tracey, is the Popcorn Gallery theme song stuck in your head?

This podcast is amazing.

I love The Cardigans. I love The Beach Boys. I hate Mulaney. Why does everyone keep saying "doula"? We all know Tom Cavanagh is hilarious, right? Everyone on the forums is tied for first, except Chanson, who comes in at number two. I watched the first episode of Project Improvisor and I really liked how I didn't understand any of the scenes or callbacks because of the dumb way the show is edited. Sean is a tiny baby and I like that. I noticed Sean's spooky socks and it made me wonder if he saw some scary socks, thought of us, and decided to buy some to make us happy. If they were a gift from a weird Aunt, so help me god...

Nice job, Cam.

I really don't like people commenting about forum posts being too long. It's really rude, especially when their posts didn't come out of nowhere. Matt talked at length about his opinions on the podcast and now the most vocal people in the discussion last week want to have their say. And, sure, it's case closed, but that doesn't mean forum members have to stop talking about the issue in the fucking forum of the podcast episode where the issue is discussed. I actually don't think Monica Lewinsky should be the spokesperson for this anti-bullying campaign. I think her situation is so specific and unrelateable that it isn't really gonna help anyone feel supported except for maybe other celebrities who are bullied by the media. But I do still have a problem with Matt hating her. HATING her. I don't like her either and I don't care about what she has to say, to be honest, but I understand why SHE cares about what she has to say and why SHE is trying to make a career out of likely the best and worst event in her life.

Selfie's been cancelled? No! It's from the creator of Suburgatory and Brian Huskey is on it. Why would they do this to me?

We got BRRII, Anastasia, NiceDad, and TakeHomeJoke donating. And we got Tim Treese considering paying a butt load (thanks, Anastasia) of money to place an ad. Who else is gonna donate to show Sean and Hayes that they can't break us? We're forum strong!

I've heard that the joke "Guess what? Chicken butt." has been banned from all writer's rooms for being too funny, how has this affected your work? When writing a season of television, how often should the story involve an embarrassing moment that becomes an auto-tuned youtube video? Would you hire me? Some people say I'm too quirky for my own good, but I don't know...

Hey, I really love you guys and I'd like to show my appreciation by making a donation to Hollywood Handbook. I think it would be cool if we could all donate this week to show Sean and Hayes that our forum is the strongest forum in the universe. I just donated $20. I think the rule should be $20 and under, since I'm sure most of us are stingy and selfish. And, I don't mean to step on UTU2TM's toes, but can we get some t-shirts in here?

I AM gonna read all the forum comments, but first I need to post this comment I just saw on FB: "I had a dream that someone who deserved all that came to her after HS lost 100 pounds. Woke up, relieved, that she was still fat, unhappy, and poor." This was in response to a post where a girl said someone she hated got what was coming to her (her husband is divorcing her).

Bernard_Shakey, have you ever visited the Hollywood Handbook forum? I think you'd like it there juusssttt fiiinnneee.

BRGRHO, YOU'RE MY NEW FAVORITE. CAPS LOCK WAS A PLEASANT SURPRISE.

This is one of the funniest things that's ever been said on these Hollywood Handbook forums.

You guys are cool.

Some people might call another person a sociopath for not being compassionate in a given moment, but that's not what it really means. People who are sociopaths never feel sympathy or empathy for others. Not their parents, not their children, no one. They don't make decisions based on emotion, they make decisions that will allow them to get what they want. They're also incredibly manipulative. There's this episode of Intervention, season 13, episode 14, with a guy named Nick. I can't say with certainty that he is a sociopath, but if you watch his episode you will understand what that might look like.

Sean, you met your first wife during a taping of Jenny Jones. You were playing your famous "Rude Jude" character and she stood up from the audience and said "your hairline looks like cornbread." Was it love at first sight? Hayes, what's your favorite inside joke between you and Sean? Hayes, you got your start in Hollywood on an episode of Full House, where you dated Stephanie to get closer to Danny in hopes that he would let you be a guest on Wake Up, San Francisco. Are you and the Full House gang still close? Sean, where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Andrew, 250? You think we can reach 250? Do people even check the HH page on Mondays? And did you even consider suggesting a theme that would get people a-talking? Deep sigh. I just don't think we're gonna be able to do this. Unless... Anyone have a juicy molestation story they wanna share? Or... A tragic past they wanna re-live? Maybe... A really embarrassing fart story?

Your classmates who said they'd have sex with the girlfriend body-mom mind are basically saying "yeah, I'd have sex with my mom.. if she was hot." And they're sickos. With that said, I reject your scenario because nuh-uh, no way jose, and ew.

Gary Gulman is one of the most consistently funny guys around. I hate that he isn't on podcasts more regularly.