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xoValeriexo

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Posts posted by xoValeriexo

  2. Posted

    I don't like that Bill Clinton is respected, while Monica Lewinsky is just some fame-whore. Who is the bigger piece of shit in their interaction? The middle-aged President of the United States who cheats on his wife by getting his dick sucked by an intern in her twenties or the woman who sucked his dick and could arguably be said to like attention? Honestly, if you think you can love Bill and hate Monica reasonably, I'm going to get pretty angry over here.

    • Like 6

  8. Posted

    Ok. Valerie, what dessert did you eat on your birthday? Do you go for standard birthday cake? Or did you mix it up with like a birthday eclair or something?

     

    Great suggestion, Bozos.

     

    Anastasia, I had two kinds of cake: chocolate mocha and lemon. There were other desserts involved, but I won't get into the politics of all that.

     

    Valerie,

    What was your favorite birthday pres?

     

    My bf bought me the cheapest Kindle, because his mom hijaked my Kindle Fire. We're like, okay, maybe if she can't use it to surf the web she'll leave it the hell alone. This is also the story for the pilot episode of my new show Everybody Loves Valerie.

     

    Valerie, did your family sing the Happy Birthday song, and did they pay up to those sisters PFT likes to reference?

     

    I was sung to and it was very uncomfortable. My four year old nephew just stared at the cake the whole time, which I thought was v rude. We paid to use it, yes, we're not criminals.

     

    Valerie,

    Did Kobe get you anything good, or did he pull that shit where his "return to the basketball courts" is his gift to you for, like, every holiday for the next year?

     

    Kobe actually stormed out in the middle of the cake-cutting because we got to talking about the new Fantastic Four and he said Michael B Jordan isn't right for the role of The Human Torch. He wouldn't let it go, so we asked him to leave and he stormed out with a small piece of cake on a paper plate covered in saran wrap.

     

    valerie, is it fun to have a birthday where other people care?

     

    Let me put it this way: yes.

    • Like 12

  10. Posted

    Is it VB's birthday? Happy Birthday!!

     

    And you're welcome, TKS: https://www.scribd.c...ncer-Episode-01

     

    I don't have an ending for it, so if anyone wants to help me write an ending or punch it up, I would love that. Also, any formatting tips are welcome.

     

    Thanks for the happy b-days everyone (except Sean and Hayes). I'm glad everyone (except Sean and Hayes) cares about me.

     

    Anastasia, I live in Stockton. You probably don't know where that is, but it's about 90 minutes from SF.

     

    I love your story. You're clearly a very good writer and I love every detail you include. My favorite part of this one are the descriptions of Andrew's dancing. The visuals it created in my head were beautiful. Maybe it could end with Andrew being such a good dancer after training with Freja that he doesn't need Toby anymore? Or maybe Toby comes back to life when he puts on his leather jacket? Or maybe sex with Freja makes the guys fuse into one person permanently and it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

     

    A while ago I wrote a story about a ghost too: https://www.scribd.com/doc/235166092/Ghost-John-UPDATED-script You don't have to read it, but if you do I would recommend skipping ahead and starting on page 17. That way it's less daunting and that's really when the story starts to get more entertaining, in my opinion.

    • Like 4

  12. Posted

    Damn Charlie Murphy Brown and Anastasia, nice job!

     

    My favorite line in CMB's is "The three shared a big loff as of course this was an inside joke going back years and representing the essence of their friendship." Beautiful. I also love that the story is about Engineer Cody, I love that you mentioned Ronna and Beverly's murdered out car (did you listen to that Totally Laime with Jessica Chaffin?), and b-b-b-bonus favorite line: "in such a rush to get out of dodge, and into his Dodge, a 1997 Neon." I don't think Zack Morris did the finger time-out though. I think he did a classic sports time-out, while Evie from Out of This World did the finger time-out. Sorry to bring you down, I'm just a total geeky nerd who reads sitcomics all the time.

     

    My favorite line of Ana's is "Good thing there’s so many loose branches lying around Seattle." I also love the details about the Kathy Ireland poster, the party sub, the light sprinkling of sawdust on the floor, and that Chanson just happened to be reading a child development book. Anastasia, you live in the bay area, right? It seems like we could meet somewhat easily if we were so inclined. I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying.

    • Like 4

  17. Posted

    MBOP got two Clem likes this week. He deserved them, but.. whatever, nevermind.

     

    Candace Cameron's husband's name is Valeri. My elementary school custodian was named Kelly. That guy from O-Town is named Ashley. I'm gonna name my future son Anastasia Vigo.

     

    I tried to buy Cracklin' Oat Bran (I've never had it), but I went to the fancy grocery store so it was $6. Guess I'll have to wait a little longer to see what all the fuss is about.

     

    This episode was really, really funny. The Cards Against Humanity advertisement lived up to all the forum hype.

     

    I felt loved in this episode.

     

    If I got a HH tattoo do you think Sean would 'like' it?

    • Like 11

  20. Posted

    Veebs, is you moving to L.A.? Can you speak on that?

     

    Hi Brillo, excellent question. I am planning to move to LA within a year or so, yes. My [redacted] just graduated from college, so he's working right now to get some experience and to have some time creating a video game. He wants to work for a video game company in LA. I want to be a comedy writer. I am scared and, like that guy who made Sean and Hayes cry from The Voice, I don't want to lose my mom. Why does everyone think I want to lose my mom? Yeah, so eventually I will be brave and move and I would like a guarantee of friendship before I do or else what's the point? Oh yeah my cat will be there too working on his dream of being a bump on a log lol

    • Like 12

  22. Posted

    or what if Hayes is Scooby doo, then Sean is scrappy doo, Besser & Aukerman is Fred or shaggy and Ronna & Beverly is velma and daphne?

     

    Hayes: Scooby-Doo

    Sean: Scrappy-Doo

    Besser: Shaggy

    Aukerman: Fred

     

    This is all true. BUT Ronna and Bev are not Velma and Daphne.

     

    Kulap: Daphne

    Andy Daly: Velma

    Beverly: Scooby-Dum

    Ronna: Some old lady who's really a ghost

    • Like 3

  23. Posted

    Oh yeah, this episode was really good. I liked the guest too (although I'm not to be trusted; I go easy on women because we have a sisterly bond). I can't really give specifics because I listened to an ep of RSS right after, so I don't know where Hollywood Handbook ends and Reality Show Show begins. But I do know that the child abuse thing was on this ep and I really liked that. I like when I like Sean and Hayes. They're like my friends sometimes. I don't know, maybe this sounds dumb, but I wish I could hug them.

    • Like 5

  24. Posted

    post-96257-0-90471900-1412185450_thumb.jpg

     

    If we're doing dog history month, here's Holly. Asleep on me.

     

    Edit: Spent three minutes trying to figure out why the image was so small, was unsuccessful, you'll just have to take my word that she's a really cute dog. She's just like a brown Marley and Me except she's not dead.

     

    Hmm.. this "dog" looks a lot like a puppy to me. Don't 'member talking about puppy history month.

    • Like 4

  25. Posted

    I have a dog, but he's not good enough to be honored in Dog History Month. Trust me.

     

    Maybe we honor Shadow from Homeward Bound because of the time he fell into the hole and couldn't get out? Or Rimshot from Ernest Scared Stupid because of the time when Ernest thought there wasn't anything in the bag for him? Or the dog from Fear because of the time he got his head cut off and put through the doggy door?

    • Like 7
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