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paultab

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Everything posted by paultab

  1. paultab

    Episode 148 - Vampire's Kiss: LIVE!

    Guys, there is nothing gradual about his abuse of poor Alva. This happens 24 minutes in: He tells her she has to STAND THERE while he gets chewed out by his client, then (and apologies for the sloppy borders, this was a rush job with Paint): He then hangs up and says, "You see that? I couldn't get a WORD IN, he was so mad." ...so not only is he overreacting to her not being able to find this file, there is literally NO PRESSURE on this task, so all he's doing is doubling down on her throughout the movie.
  2. paultab

    Episode 146 - Dreamcatcher

    Had he said "chowder," I think she would have projectile vomited on him before getting in the car. A real fuckaroo.
  3. paultab

    Episode 146 - Dreamcatcher

    Not to pick nits, Cameron, but I think it's firmly established that the ultimate fuckarow is, in fact, a fuckaree. I mean, we are people of language, let's get this stuff right.
  4. paultab

    Episode 146 - Dreamcatcher

    He does go directly from, "Maybe he's not from this planet," to "I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S AN ALIEN"
  5. paultab

    Episode 146 - Dreamcatcher

    To your last point, YES. I wondered the same thing! That's insane. Corporeal injuries shouldn't apply in mental spaces. To your first, it occurs to me that maybe they put that in to set up that Beaver doesn't give a FUCK about germs, and that's why the bathroom floor-tile (without the assblood) isn't a deterrent to the Beav. It's a stretch, but not as high-stakes as the one from that toilet seat to that tile.
  6. paultab

    Episode 146 - Dreamcatcher

    I'll go you one further -- Homeland actually TELLS Beaver that the shitweasel now had "nowhere to go but the septic tank." So, definitely a closed system.
  7. paultab

    Episode 146 - Dreamcatcher

    Also, to the comments that Duddits should have defended himself as a boy: Duddits wasn't an alien in the book or the original screenplay as I understand it, so the alien reveal is tacked on, but they didn't think to change anything else about the movie. I had a flashback to when this came out in theaters. I remember going to see it because the ending to the book had kind of lost me, thinking, "Well, maybe the movie will make sense of it and then I'll go back and read it again." Realizing in the theater that they had dumped the original ending made me feel a lot better for hating/not understanding it, but also, it is truly striking how much of the book made it into the movie. Beat for beat, the book swings from plot to plot in exactly the "wait, what?" fashion that the movie does. I just sat there saying, "Yup. Yup" to the person who came with me who couldn't believe this was all the same book. What I picture now is someone pitching the story Menahem Golan style, where they're just talking through what happens in the movie, but constantly reading the room and jumping off whenever they think they're losing somebody. "And these four psychically bonded friends... (losing them, pivot) go into the WOODS and are marooned in their cabin (losing them, pivot) no, TRAPPED in their cabin, by the army (losing them, pivot) ... who are hunting down ALIENS (a ten-year-old walks in) THAT COME OUT OF YOUR BUTT." Not that that's how this came about, but it's fun to think about.
  8. paultab

    Episode 146 - Dreamcatcher

    Can we talk about the Blue Unit Chatecism (AKA "The BUC for all BUCcos") for a second? Morgan Freeman asks his soldier if he knows it, then runs him through it: Q: Is Blue Unit regular Army? A: No, boss, better, boss. Q: How does Blue Unit operate? A: Under the radar. We do not salute. We do not display rank. We do not say "sir." We are a force unto ourselves. Q: Regular Army, compared to Blue Unit...? A: Pussies, boss. Q: Under what rules does Blue Unit operate? A: Rules of combat. Is Blue Unit Training Camp just learning a shitweasel-ton of pat routines? How often do they have to say that shit? Clearly, it's just a fuckerow for the sake of exposition, but this isn't the only kind of Q-and-A routine Freeman enacts in this movie, which makes it seem like a defining characteristic of Blue Unit is being off-book for this kind of stuff.
  9. paultab

    Episode 145.5 - Minisode 145.5

    This exists: https://www.amazon.com/Dreamcatcher-Shooting-Script-Newmarket/dp/1557045666
  10. paultab

    Episode 145.5 - Minisode 145.5

    The only thing that motherfucker is leaving behind more often than germs are discarded catchphrases. It's like he's burning through them to see which one'll stick.
  11. paultab

    Episode 145.5 - Minisode 145.5

    That's a bummer. The toothpick thing, by the way, is unsettling, esoecially when he takes the shot with the toothpick sticking into it. That's a good way to stab yourself in the glott or uvula or tonsil or whatever that thing back there is.
  12. paultab

    Episode 145.5 - Minisode 145.5

    Um, they have a psychic BOND, I think they know if each other have left germs on a tile BOOM FIVE STARS
  13. paultab

    Episode 145.5 - Minisode 145.5

    Um, helLO, he went for the ones on the CLEAN tile. If he had been willing to have a bloody one, he'd still be alive (because he wouldn't have had to move his butt off the toilet seat.) /5starreviewlanguage
  14. paultab

    Episode 145.5 - Minisode 145.5

    (I will still defend Demolition Man in any conversation, about or not about Demolition Man, about or not about movies.) It should go without saying that I am over-the-damn-moon that this is finally happen. I've been on about this movie for a while. Last night, I watched it for the first time since seeing it in the theaters, and I think it will at least become an annual tradition. I can't think of another movie that takes so many 90-degree turns, almost all of them supplied by the source material. Other than the ending, this movie was lifted almost right from the page. You know how Jason always talks about having to rewind a few minutes? That's what reading Dreamcatcher was like for me. I kept going five pages back, wondering what the hell I'd missed. Also, like everyone here, I kept marveling at how many things about the movie I'd forgotten, including the batshit ending. Jason Lee with his finger in the peanut butter jar reminded me of Puck. 'Member Puck? I had totally forgotten that Damien Lewis was in this movie. His beard makes his mouth look so proportional that my wife wouldn't believe me that it was him. I loved him in this, though! He went full-tilt, and I love it. Stephen King can describe what a buttweasel fart smells like incredibly well. Those of you who bought the DVD -- is there a commentary track? I would happily buy the DVD if it meant I could listen to Lawrence Kasdan explain himself.
  15. paultab

    Episode 143.5 - Minisode 143.5

    PSA: Stealth is streaming on Starz. WARNING: Begins with text intro. This is gonna be INCOMPREHENSIBLE.
  16. The best therapy for you, I think, is to watch the One True Mannequin, which is so much better.
  17. Oh! Two last things I keep forgetting to bring up: Garbage trucks aren't just garbage pails on wheels. That truck is a compactor truck, and the garbage people scoop them right into the part of the compartment furthest away from the dumping part. Even if they do have an override that prevents the compactor from squashing the Arnolds, getting them back out is a real problem. Letting Jessi use Jason's employee charge card is a fireable offense. She's not listed as an authorized user, she doesn't have ID that proves she's Jason -- that employee blatantly ignored the rules for a commission (that probably isn't that great, given the discount on the merchandise) and should be FIRED.
  18. I second the annoying "wackiness" of this scene, which fits into the whole maybe-he's-supposed-to-be-Parker-Lewis-or-something thing someone mentioned before (look how wacky with that rustbucket car, brushing while driving and washing his mouth out with Sprite!). Eggs through a collander might work but there's nothing efficient about it, sausage would burst into flames in a toaster like that, a Dustbuster would possibly short out vacuuming up the wet seeds, the cantaloupe would be left with no seeds but probably residue from around the spout of the Dustbuster, and spooning frozen orange juice concentrate into cups then microwaving them would get you a microwave covered in gross orangey mess, not two perfect glasses of orange juice. To cap it all off, his mother walks into the bedroom and the first thing she says isn't "LOOK AT THE FUCKING MESS YOU'VE MADE IN MY HOUSE THAT YOU LIVE IN RENT-FREE YOU MANNEQUIN-SEXING MONSTER."
  19. On my second listen, I noticed that one of my earlier observations was actually in the show (edited it out), but also that June's thing about those weird dancers was never fully addressed. I had the exact same thought as she had, that at first it was some kind of weird funky hip-hop thing, but that it was so weird that they carried it over to the slow dance, in such a posture that each of those dudes were just bent at a right angle, resting their heads on the boob of their partners -- UNSETTLING!
  20. The two sycophants, by the way, have the most awkward interaction off in that corner while the credits start rolling. Watch it happen -- they cannot figure out whether they're supposed to hug, hold hands, be people, anything. I couldn't take my eyes off that corner, it was so weird.
  21. (pushing glasses up nose) On the title card there is no Two, 2 or II. It is called Mannequin | On the Move.
  22. The first one was manufactured in 1987 by Andrew MacCarthy, in the mannequin factory. It was sold to Prince & Co. She doesn't become a mannequin in Egypt, she dissolves into the ether, leaving a pile of rags behind. One reasons that the gods she begged to decided to transport her soul to an era where women had more of a say in their own lives (although there's not much by way of explanation as to why they'd then make her a mannequin whose attention could only belong to one dude, that's basically just another arranged marriage.) The second one became a legendary treasure of the kingdom, and was on display since the curse was put on her. Many nations have treasures that they've put effort into preserving, and not all of them are objectively valuable.
  23. I stand corrected. Sorry! He totally does say that.
  24. Weeeeellll he technically demures by saying he's looking for "true love," not that he moves slowly once he finds Kristy Swanson true love.
  25. By the way, the sequel with the male should be Mannequin 3: The Mannequing. (sound it out)
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