seanotron

Ok, this is an example of thinking too deeply about a dumb movie, but I've always had a weird soft spot for this, so bear with me. it seemed like Pacino-Devil had pinned all his hopes on Keanu to father the Antichrist. Yet we know he impregnated at least one other woman, thus Connie Nielsen, his daughter (assuming she was human and not a demon or something). Why not hedge his bets and go out and impregnate a bunch of women? Why could he only father one son at a time? And why wouldn't his son, Keanu, be the Antichrist? Why did it have to be his grandson? Did the Antichrist have to be a pure-blood? Was Keanu a muggle? Also, I was confused as to why he just sort of walked out of Keanu's life after he was conceived, but seemed to be involved in Connie Nielsen's life for some time. Didn't she have Free Will? Why was only Keanu's choice important? Is there some kind of weird misogynist message there? Women are getting raped left and right in this movie and seem to exist solely as temptations, so I'm just not sure what to make of that. Even Charlize's character isn't necessarily 'good' even though they seem to present her that way, since she seems totally aware of the guilt of Keanu's pedo client and in the rebooted universe still questions why he's doing the right thing. Oi...

Woohoo! One of my favorite bad movies, ever. I was a little nervous about this because I knew it was recorded at the same time as the Anaconda episode and I felt that one lacked the usual energy. Glad to see my worries were unfounded! I'm also glad Paul pointed out the weird racial stuff. Poor Delroy Lindo, it's weird to think he was probably shooting this around the same time as A Life Less Ordinary. And June Diane Raphael, don't you ever stop doing what you do.

Amy Phillips is wonderful. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/054875dea3/wizard-of-oz-remake-screentest

Love you guys! But yeah, the '-um' thing is considered offensive. It's the equivalent of saying 'ching-chong' when describing Chinese speakers. There's even an old Seinfeld episode that addresses it when Jerry tries to date a Native American woman and unintentionally keeps using offensive slang around her (he even says, 'We smoke-um peace pipe!' at one point).

New no-no! If Stan Sitwell doesn't like Paul Rust, then uh uh uh uh I'm allowed to LOVE Paul Rust. New no-no!

Fairly certain this was who both of them immediately thought of when he mentioned it (you could tell they had someone in mind - at least Kulap did), but they're both just too nice to say it.

It's called The Late Phillip J Fry.

Jeff's laugh is so damn delightful, though.

Honestly, I felt like that video demonstrated far worse parenting than this movie.

How dare you, Shelby Fero. HOW DARE YOU.

I thought it was stranger that Frederick Douglass wasn't in Lincoln, since he was so heavily involved in that process. The entire movie takes place in Washington, DC, so that there weren't any slaves around made sense. But leaving Douglass out bugged me. Also, maybe Gabe just wasn't paying very close attention, but the movie is PG-13 and includes some pretty bloody scenes, including one where a soldier has his leg amputated, fields of dead bodies, etc.

I'm right there with ya. Swardson is decidedly not funny.

Paul's story about trying to French Kiss his mother was pretty amazing. Also upsetting.

They introduce him around the 1 minute mark.

That bear is amazing. Also terrifying.

You have both my admiration and my pity.

Definitely a joke. http://jeshirt.tumblr.com

Oh god, Pacino is Pacinoing so hard in that movie that I was afraid he was going to pull something.

Explaining the name does not help the fact that it is a terrible, stupid name.

Julie is one of my favorite memories of early MTV. Me, my sister and my mom used to love watching her show. And as I recall, my mom used to sing a pretty great rendition of 'Cause I'm a Blonde'.

I know what Jason is talking about. There was this weird urban legend about murderous clowns in ice cream trucks when I was a kid.

Yeah...no. Not in any way, shape or form. Legacy might have been rote, but Abduction is pure garbage.

That is just all kinds of awesome.

I smell a Sleepaway Camp: Director's Edition coming on!

She looks the same age to me, and even has the blood going down her neck as in the final scene. Why would she have that blood makeup on again 8 months later? I also suspect that 3rd picture down is the male college student, as his nose is different from hers in the previous pictures.