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Posts posted by seanotron

  1. Yea this was a weird movie. One that wouldnt have been released if the two lead roles were gender swapped.


    Swap the gender roles and you have any number of Woody Allen movies, except not as gross since Arquette has no interest in sleeping with her child spouse.


    So fucking insane, sure Gates has made some iffy business decisions but they didnt involve assassinations like all those movies seemed to suggest.


    I just remember this one being especially egregious, so much so that Microsoft felt it necessary to address it (at least in a roundabout way).

  3. So I have some questions regarding Keno and pizza delivery that I will hope lead to broader questions regarding the Turtles and their place in the world…


    So at the beginning of the movie, Keno is jumped by some thugs while on his way to deliver pizzas to April O’Neil. The Turtles step in, save him, and when he is free he finds the pizzas in the warmer bag are gone and money to pay for for the pizzas. My question is, and I have never delivered pizzas so forgive me, but doesn’t he still need to deliver those pizzas to April? I mean, if I intercept the pizza guy on his way to my neighbor’s house and pay for it, does that mean he no longer has a responsibility to deliver it to its intended destination? But that leads me to my second question…


    I guess we can assume that Keno is smart enough to put two and two together and figures out that the Turtles are hiding out at April’s apartment. So what does he do when he walks in and sees Raphael’s toe? He stomps the shit out of it. Now, at this point, Keno’s only interaction with the Turtles is when they saved his douchey little life. He has had no issue with the Turtles--they’ve saved his life, and we can only assume, been tipping him pretty well for all the deliveries. Why wouldn’t he just push back the screen and reveal Raph? Why was his immediate response, “This guy saved me, I should probably break his toe?” You’re in a stranger’s apartment! I don’t care if she has what she has weird-o pets she might have, you can’t just barge into people’s homes and start attacking things. But, of course, that’s when Splinter shows up and calms everyone down.


    Cut to: a cross-legged Keno gazing up at Splinter with awe and reverence. And this leads me to my biggest question: Why are the Turtles in hiding again? From April and Casey Jones in the first movie, to Keno, the Doctor, Vanilla Ice and everyone at the club in this one, no one seems to give the slightest shit that these guys exist! It really makes you wonder why Splinter is so adamant that they remain in the shadows… Sure there’s a bit of shock when someone first encounters them, but ultimately everyone just accepts and loves them. Why not just send out a video that says, “Hey, we exist. We’re good people. We’re looking out for you?” Is it possible that Splinter is just projecting his own crippling agoraphobia on his sons and is thus depriving them of rich and fulfilling lives?


    Just to underline this point


    • Like 3

  4. This also calls into question the entire time line of the movie in relation to the first movie. It felt to me like this was supposed to be like months after the first movie the way they discuss Shredder's demise like an old war story. Which makes me think, has he been in the dump for months? Was he just surviving on old baby diapers and loose syringes?


    But then the movie shows the foot clan showing up at their garbage dump hideaway which implies that it Shredder's "death" just happened. So, the Turtles saved the city, ordered a pizza, beat up some criminals, and began talking about what they just did a couple hours ago? That's weird...


    They definitely couldn't decide on a timeline for this movie. As you said, if this is happening months later, then Shredder crawling out of the garbage makes no sense. But if this happens right after the first movie, how the hell did April get an apartment so fast? The Foot burn down her apartment halfway through the first movie. And April asks the Turtles in this movie if they found a new place to live like they've been staying with her for a while.

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  5. Fox has set the bar for horrible product placement for me. They basically go old-school and just blatantly have the characters try to sell the product directly to the camera. 'ISN'T THIS TOYOTA PRIUS AN AMAZING CAR I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS ADAPTIVE CRUISE CONTROL WOW, OH WELL WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO CATCHING CRIMINALS WHO ARE PROBABLY DRIVING MAZDAS OR SOMETHING LOL', cut to loving exterior shot of the Prius slowly approaching a red light. This movie couldn't even come close to that. Though it did make me wonder why Samsung or Verizon would want the placement, since they subsequently have the characters lament about how horrible product placement is.

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  6. This is one of the things about these movies that always puzzled me. Splinter does not have the capability of speech until he's covered in radioactive slime (per TMNT 1). This happens in New York City, so presumably he should have a New York accent (the Turtles probably should too, and at least in the first movie Raph definitely does, but we'll let that go for the moment). At the very least, he should not have a Japanese accent, right?


    But then it dawned on me that these movies postulate the idea that rats are naturally hyper-intelligent to begin with. Splinter has clear memories of his master fighting Saki (Shredder) over the woman they were both in love with. It's clear that since he understood the context for their fight, he also understood their conversations, and he even attempts to take revenge after Shredder kills his master by scratching Shredder's face (they even show him mimicking Yoshi's fighting exercises). All of that is pre-ooze, which means in the TMNT movie universe rats are just as intelligent as humans, they just lack the capacity of speech unless you dip them in radioactive ooze.


    The 80s cartoon sidestepped all of this in a possibly more insane way by making Splinter the mutated form of Hamato Yoshi. The explanation there was he had been in contact with lots of rats in the sewer, so the mutagen turns him into a giant rat. Oh my!


    RE: Shredder's OTT accent, the guy portraying him in costume is Francois Chau (better known as Dr Chang/Candle/Halliwax from LOST) a Cambodian-Chinese man, while the voice is done by David McCharen (a not even slightly Asian man). It's as if they decided, 'Hey, we don't want to half-ass this racist thing, let's be thorough'.


    I also have an in-universe theory as to why Casey Jones doesn't appear in this film but later returns in 3. If you remember the end of the last movie, Shredder falls into the garbage truck, which he probably would have survived, but then Casey deliberately turns on the compactor in order to kill him. Even though he somehow didn't manage to kill Shredder, I'm pretty sure Casey is on the lamb because he's wanted for attempted murder. And when you consider the fact that his decision to kill Shredder comes very quickly with almost no consideration, I don't think this was Casey's first murder rodeo. He spent the time between those movies cleaning up any evidence/witnesses he left behind in plans to change his identity. The Turtles should probably be worried.


    Lastly, there was a sort of 4th movie in the form of the animated TMNT in 2007. It featured Sarah Michelle Gellar, Patrick Stewart and the actual Japanese person Mako as Splinter, in what would turn out to be his final role.

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  7. This basically looks like Vacation by way of The Hangover. Everything about that preview just screamed gross to me.


    And considering Ed Helms for Frank Drebin just shows that whoever is involved in that reboot doesn't understand why Police Squad/The Naked Gun worked so well.

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    Seriously? Have you listened to U Talking U2 To Me? because I didn't really notice it until listening to that. When all the talking sounds like the same damn voice it hits you quick


    That's so strange to me. I have never found their voices even remotely similar and definitely not to the point where I'd be confused about who was talking.

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  9. I think the remake's biggest sin was being just okay. It really wasn't that bad, but it was also totally forgettable. Between that and the Total Recall reboot, I think the moral of the story is just don't remake Verhoeven films (at least his sci-fi ones).

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  10. And I remember seeing Dreamcatcher on DVD right after Deadwood started and Timothy Olyphant was blowing up. I only saw it because he was in it and Lawrence Kasdan co-wrote. And just....wow. I guess it's hard to blame Kasdan if it's straight from King's novel, but maybe Kasdan needs to stick to just fixing Lucas' craziness.


    I believe King famously disowned Dreamcatcher and claimed it was the result of too much oxy.

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  11. Seeing this as a kid, I remember being disappointed by the voice actor swap outs. Of all the turtles, Raphael (who was basically the lead character in the first movie) & Donatello had the most recognizable voices, and those were the voices they decided to change. They just sounded wrong.


    And having re-watched this and the first one recently, they don't even feel like movies taking place in the same universe, let alone the same characters. You go from Raphael being beaten into a coma that lasts for days in the first one, to the Turtles never even throwing a kick at Shredder (despite standing 2 feet from him on numerous occasions) in this one.

    • Like 2