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About tankerbell

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  • Birthday 12/18/1986

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  • Favorite Earwolf Podcast
    barrel-chested polynesian men who tell caustic one-liners
  1. I'm still ecstatic that my embarrassing sex party story led to the introduction of Vaporub and Tamby! Seeing that video actually on the podcast is both a dream come true and makes said memory a lot easier to live with.
  2. tankerbell

    Episode 55 — Pussy Snacks

    He definitely has, but I'm not sure if he included the part about having to finish it in an empty school. I was like "I think he's told this, but lemme see what he says he made before I jump to conclusions, could've been someone else's similar story," then I heard "suede vest" and confirmed my suspicions. Incidentally, he goddamn kiiiiiiiilled me in this episode. The second he started his Rex Harrison-esque pussy speak-singing, I lost it and had to try really hard to not wake everyone in my house. Holy shit, that entire scene was brilliant.
  3. Happiness rankings, pussy mines, "creatively horrifying" child torturers, Why or Why Not and Edgar Allen Poe are all good calls. Also the dirty-talkin' anchorman scene from that last episode, with cameo from Retarded Dan, was hilarious. I've been listening to a bunch of older ones lately and there are definitely stand-outs that weren't in the first best-of. Obviously there wouldn't be time for all these, but they're so funny, and they really hold up to repeated listens. The times cited are when the intro stories start. 12, 7:25 - Jewish ghosts who died in the Holocaust 13, 43:40 - Jimmy Stewart Red Lobster commercial, has a lot of callbacks to the earlier applebee's porno commercial scene 16, 41:35 - World's Slowest Knifeman 19, 23:40 - NIGGARDLYYYYYYY 27, 38:45 - Bill Clinton can only remember clues about his identity 28, 21:30 - Matt's childhood testing experience inspires a scene about German scientists, Gregs, and Eggs Benedict 31, 10:10 - I still stand by this one! John Gemberling as the child's party entertainer who alters words. The best part is when he breaks down while trying to say "Swoooooo swaaaaaaad" 37, 53:15 - Crap on Youtube - really bad Jehovah's Witness ad. Scene is Matt and Danielle as crazy parents who only let their kid (Colton) use/eat things that are shaped like him. Any time I think of the phrase "Do you want the world to be mad at you?" It makes me laugh uncontrollably.
  4. Matt, if you're still taking suggestions, I cosign Smashed Loopy, Mustard Girl, Jeanette from Build A Bear, and Humanzee. But I'd also like to humbly suggest episode 31 starting at around 11:00, for the sheer joy of Magician-Replacement/Lexicon-Builder John Gemberling exclaiming "Mmmmmmmm Yummy Yoymee! This cake is deliciosotitoooo!" Best Eric the Paid Intern was... none of them. Well, maybe the one where he went to the Sketchers store and Foot Locker because he misunderstood the phrase "foot traffic?" That kid is really so lacking in charisma that it would be almost uncomfortably endearing if it weren't so out of place with the established (albeit loose) dynamic of your show. It's weird though- even as I'm writing this, more than cringing at the memory of his rote recitations of the same boring questions (with no logical follow-up questions!!), I'm still getting a ton of enjoyment just recalling you ripping on him and cracking up everyone else on the show. So I guess, thanks, Eric. You kind of remind me of a naive robot, and you probably shouldn't ever interact with strangers, but you took one for the team and you expanded the atmosphere of my very favorite podcast in a small, special way.
  5. tankerbell

    first plugs submission

    this should work
  6. not a lot of lady-sung plugs songs played on the show, but i'm a big listener and have wanted to record one for some time now. wrote and recorded this one a few minutes ago with the help of a catchy hook that came to me as i was cooking dinner (i was cooking dinner because i have a vagina, of course). hope the big guns hear and like it! peggy plugs.mp3 - 2.4 Mb