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About fredsolo

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  1. I hate being President of the Council of Giraffes but I can’t help having the neck Mama Jesus gave me.
  2. I like my women like I like my coffee. Sprinkled with cheeto dust.
  3. The road to hell is paved with good intentions but the road to heaven is paved with giraffe corpses. No one knows why.
  4. What came first, the chicken, the witch, or the wardrobe?
  5. Give me one good reason why I should avoid the Noid
  6. I don’t know why Jesus speaks to me exclusively in my nightmares but I guess I’m cool with it.
  7. I dare you to catch this phrase!
  8. My name is Sparkly Pete and I’m the sixth member of KISS
  9. If you have nothing nice to say don’t say it. Sing it.
  10. I put the art in fart. Wait, no. Sorry, I meant to say I put the fart on art...currently. I’m farting on this painting.
  11. What difference does it make whether I eat pancakes or farts?
  12. A moment of silence for the victims of yesterday’s snack attack.
  13. I wish Batman was called Bathman because I think he should clean up his act.
  14. The only payment we take here is gas, grass, or ass and we mean that literally.
  15. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...and slipping on banana peels...mostly slipping on banana peels.