apocowarg

Me and the old man.

laer si dlroworc

These candidates are merely presenting the illusion of choice. End the tyranny of the secret forums.

Congrats on your 500th post, Dixon. Glad you went the serious, introspective route instead of trying to write something funny. Very classy. You're a true pioneer of these forums and a holdover from an age that some people (not me) say we are better off without. Personally I hope that you continue to post here no matter how many times people tell you, both to your face and behind your back, to stop.

What is a good low effort post that I can make so that I make it on the front page even though I haven't listened to the episode at all. "This episode was crazier than a backwards petting zoo!" Hmmm no, too topical. "I don't know how but the boys have done it again!" This is a lie, I don't know if they done it again. "A story about my life that has nothing to do with this podcast...uh oh better wrap it up by mentioning the podcast." No, hack. "First!" See I'm not first, that is why this is funny. Let's have someone do this every week. "Announce my intentions of when I am going to listen." Very exciting for others to read but...maybe...too exciting? "Here's a funny pun on the guest's name!" Puns are loser talk. Nailed it

2.5 Forks

I have to wear a wrist brace for carpal tunnel at work but I don't want my co-workers to see any weakness so I told them it's an athletic harness to speed up my thumb while I'm playing pogs. I told them my "team" is in a pretty "high-end league" and that I need to schedule a bunch of days off so I could compete in the "tournament" and win a prize for my "cousin" who is dying of "cancer". You see my cousin's last wish was that I teamed up with my old pogs partner, my ex-wife "Leah". The woman who broke my heart after I lost the ability to "slam the jammer" and left me for my sworn rival "Davide". But did she leave me or did I push her away? The only way to find out the truth is to reform the old team and compete in the 2016 Pog Pound Tournament of Champions to win the grand prize. Perhaps along the way I'll learn a little about friendship and a lot about love. These idiots don't suspect a thing!

I don't know who this wargen fellow is but he sounds like a real hepcat with a big floppy dingus. jk about the not knowing part not the rest which is 100% true. I refuse to listen to this episode because I can tell they didn't roast Mike Lawrence alive with my scathing PCG questions. What is the point of surfing the razor edge of controversy and lazy googling old jokes from a guest's 2013 debut album, if when it comes time to spray the sarin gas of my truth bombs some unnamed hosts of a certain podcast get all fluttery in the stomach and lob some softball bullshit? I never thought I would have to do this but I am changing my name back to wargen. I don't even want the pro-version anymore. I refuse to receive special treatment from a couple of cowards. Next time there's a call for PCG questions I'll just ask some lame garbage about kittens and clouds. Have fun gently smooching your guests' soft and tender tushies. I'll be out here on the streets, gleaming the cube in my sweet denim jacket with the 80's Bones Powell Peralta logo that my mom ironed-on for me. Peace, warGEN out

Mike, I googled you some more. You had a bit in your act where said you have the "face of a rapist, and the self esteem of one of his victims.” As a male comic how did you find the courage to use rape victims as a prop for your self-depreciating joke? In the event that I googled the wrong Mike Lawrence I would still like the guest to answer the question.

Hey Mike, I've never heard of you. I had to google a picture. Does you get lots of soups in your beard? I hear them things is good at sopping up p juice.

Dang, SteveH, you really got embarrassed. Hmmm em-barr-assed, barr-assed, bare-assed. Bart got his shorts down. Uh...shit there's a joke here.

It's actually good that these forums are dying. Much like a forest needs to burn occasionally in order to stimulate new growth, this old bitter forum rotting will feed the creation of a new more vibrant forum. I for one welcome this change and declare myself the master of the new forums. Let any man or woman (very progressive) challenge me if they doubt my claim. See you on the field of battle, you sickly dinosaurs.

Are we all just doing one or two sentences with no jokes in them now? This is a great idea and will save us all a lot of time.

This is a great day CBB forum. Bathe momentarily in the sweet waters of the HH forums and our loose "like this" fingers. Be amazed as things that barely qualify as jokes get over ten likes. Watch a majestic Elder Forumer swoop in and insult everyone and yet still get 20+ likes. Watch the stunning displays of plumage as the male forumers attempt to lure a wild Dairy Pillows into the thread to like their posts. This is a rare display, CBB forum users, as HH forumers only leave their habitats when their Mommy (H) and Daddy (S) force them to. Our thin skin is not made for the cold of the outside world. Be gentle with us. p.s. please do not feed thejjar attention only makes him greasier

takes a big ol' huff from the spray paint bag and looks up at you with microwave eyes dancing a jitter above a white raccoon mouth w̬̟͙̩̞̟͍̣̃͆̐̒͗ͫͩ̐ͨ̎͌̚e̗̠̣̲̱͚̮͚̹ͫͩ͂̄͒́͐̽͌̆͂̒̎͌͆ ̩̺̭̭̫̘͎̩̼͙ͬ̌̀̊͛́ͬ̀͂ͥh̟̤̻̯̮̮͖̞͚͎͚̺̫̣̲̮̍̎̍̉͐ͬa͙̫̥̯̻͎͉̯̬̣̦̹͇͍͔̟͚͊̄̑̒̉̃ͪ̒͌ͫ̿̚ͅv͍̦͚̫̭̳̖̪̻̬̮̫͙͍̳̱̙̑ͤ̍ͥ̿e͖͎ͭͫ̈ͭͯ̀̿͂̆̿ͧͩ̇ͅͅ ̬̙̜͕̙̣̙̟͉͉͙̺̻̾̒̒ͧͫ̈́͋͋̇̋̈̚ͅt̮̞̹̲͙͎̯̦̯̙̯̯̤͔̳̲ͨ̇̑ͨ̓͊̌̒̆ͨo͈͙̮͇͙̪̰̗͚̗̠ͨ͌̑ͬͪ̓̋̚ ͍̙̝͉͚̹̺̬̹̽͌̇̋͂͗̅ͧͬͤ͗̚ͅg̬̩͎̻͚̩͍̣̽̔̄̂ͩ̍̿ͭ̀̎ͮo̪̖͇͍ͯ͆̌̓͆́̉ͥ̀̄͒ͤ͗͊ͫ ̘͙̘̜̫̳͕̭͔̙͙͕̙̩̻̩̭̩̓ͤ̃͋ͤ͂̓̚ḏ̜̟̫̥̙͚ͦ͋ͤͬͨͪͯ̈ͨ̓̈́ë̗̩̲̮̺̲̞́̂̏̂ͭ̒̽̄ͧ̍̏ḙ̮̙̗͔̗̘̻̟͚̖̪͚̳̞͙̘̦͊ͪ͑ͨ̓̒ͭ͊̽ͬ̀̈́ͩ͆ͪͩ̉ͪ̚ͅp̙̭̝̠̜̮ͬ̌͌ͤ̃̇̓̿ͩ͂̋ͤͅͅẽ͈̜̲̫̲̫͈̻̈ͮͤr̹̰̞̭̞̳̳͔̫͐̌͐̂͊̓ͣ͑ͤ͛́̾͆̑