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Everything posted by BesidesIllegal

  1. Welcome to Comedy Bang Ba-GUYS! You pranksters. I just got that.
  2. BesidesIllegal

    Episode 92 β€” Dead Man’s Rock

    ATTENTION MATT BESSER I am more than willing to debate John Gemberling on the topic of Zoophilia, aka bestiality. I for one would like to know why he is so pro-animal fucking. I don't see the harm in joking about it (the last episode was hilarious) but he seems truly serious. What kind of pet genitals does he dream of @gemberlicking? I have pretty strong feelings that it is not ok to rape an animal, so I think I could do well on the show. Bring it on, John! Will you convince me to take out the lube and rub Beggin Strips on my scroat to get my dog in the mood? Or will you see the light and keep your pony-human fantasies locked in the dark recesses of your subconcious? . Big fan of Equus by the way.
  3. BesidesIllegal

    Episode 1 β€” Cat Ranch Chaos

    Ugh. Why?
  4. You never call, you never write.....
  5. BesidesIllegal

    Exit, stage left even!

    What cartoon is this from?
  6. BesidesIllegal

    I miss plane breaks.

    I miss bakin' plain cakes
  7. *sigh*....Can I be honest with you guys for a minute? Before we start the show. I know we keep it pretty loose and fun here, but sometimes it has to get serious if the show is going to work. So before we get to our guests, and we've got some great guests, I need to let you listeners know that the catchphrases....the catchphrases are done. I'm done. No more catchphrases. That's a new rule. A new no-no, as friend of the show Paul Rust would say. Why? I spent at least 25 minutes today looking for a funny catchphrase, and found nothing. And that's not my fault. That's your fault. And ya know what? Maybe I wouldn't feel so let down, so defeated, if it was harder. Because it isn't asking a lot. It really isn't. One phrase. One funny phrase. I wish that was all I had to do to be on this show. I have a real job to do. For you. You listeners, you greedy little street urchins, running up to me and begging for podcasts every week, and what do I do? Every week I put my blood, sweat and tears in this show, chew it up, and spit it back into your gaping maws like a mama bird. And in return, all I want is one fucking joke! Not even a good joke! Half of these are just random bullshit and mediocre nicknames! "Hot Boxerman"? What does that even mean? Do I not please you? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! IS THERE NO GOD, NO JUSTICE?! Is it raining, is it snowing?! Is a hurricane a-blowing?! And not a speck of light is showing! So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Yes, the danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And they're certainly not showing, any signs that they are slowing!
  8. Use LegalZoom, or you might just end up on the Comedy Chain Gang