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Posts posted by GOZU
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I OWN this movie. There are so many movies from the 80's and 90's that fail to live up to the promise of their absurd concept. This is not one of those movies. "Gymkata" WISHES it had this film's level of commitment. And despite how bad the writing and acting are, everyone is giving it their all and I"ll be damned if the fights aren't actually pretty damn good. This is like a martial arts "Streets of Fire" that was willed into existence by a Tae Kwon Do instructor with a dream.
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I still really want them to do this.. That is all.
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It's kind of like "Birthday Song: The Movie."
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Full disclosure: I don't think this entirely qualifies as a bad movie. It's well shot, well acted (especially James Franco, this might be the best performance of his career...as a wannabe gangster rapper/drug dealer named Alien), has tons of clever visual gags (including a weird call back to the "Reindeer Games" whiskey gun, in that one of the girls literally has a squirt gun filled with whiskey) and has a lot to say about American excess that I think is dead-on.
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However, "Spring Breakers" is 100% certifiably bonkers. Imagine if you combined "Drive" with "Piranha 3D" and took out all the fish. It's pretentious, full of Terrence Malick style voice-overs, random cutaways to topless beach girls having a really great time in slow motion (either to provide a counterpoint to the story's violence and grit or they just needed to fill some space), and just so weirdly put together the whole time you're not really convinced you're actually seeing what's happening in front of your eyes. So if you've ever wanted to see a Martin Scorcese-style montage of brutal violence set to Britney Spears, then this is the movie for you.
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Let's get back on track: this movie is ridiculous. I would suggest having Uwe Boll as a guest but he tends to punch his critics, so that could get ugly.
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This January has really seen some stinkers hasn't it?
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I love this movie and still have cuts from the soundtrack on my iPhone. That said, yes, it would be perfect for this show.
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"The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don’t mind if you’re like a mile away, but if you get inside their circle they will maul you. If a bear’s claw would ever strike your face, it would take your whole face right off your skull. Your eyes, your nose, your everything. And you would die from it. Animals… There is something else about bears that not many people know. If a bear gets hooked on the taste of human blood, he becomes a man killer. He’ll go on a rampage, and has to be destroyed. That’s why you should never hug a bear." - Rutger Hauer, Hobo With a Shotgun.
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Holly Would if She Could.
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I can't believe "Congo" hasn't already been on "How Did This Get Made." I love this movie and am proud to say I own the DVD (best five dollars I ever spent). From the author of "Jurassic Park" and screenwriter of "Moonstruck" and "Joe vs. The Volcano."
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"Battle for Endor" features a heartbreaking cameo by the Principal Vernon from "The Breakfast Club."
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I loved this movie as a kid. It's like "Jonny Mnemonic" meets "Demolition Man." Cameo by Traci Lords, who also contributed to the soundtrack (which is actually a lot better than the film itself).
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"Remember, Sully, when I promised to you last?"
"That's right, Matrix, you did!"
"I lied."
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"I DUDDITZ!"
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This movie is literally insane.
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This is one of my favorite movies. I own the DVD and the soundtrack. However, I totally think this is a prime candidate for the "HDTGM" treatment.
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So I saw this over the weekend and while I don't want to fuck wit the RZA, this has to be the worst film I've seen all year. The fights are terrible, the story makes no sense, and the acting is so bad it becomes almost a redeeming quality. The story is set in China but it seems like the RZA learned everything he knows about China from old kung fu flicks, PF Changs, and Disney's "Mulan." It's also surprisingly gory, probably because it was co-written by Eli Roth.
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The real highlight of the film is Russell Crowe, who goes absolutely nuts in a way that I haven't seen since Marlon Brando in "The Island of Doctor Moreau." He spends about the first half of the movie in a Chinese brothel:
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I don't know if I would go so far as to say this movie might be the kung fu equilvalent of "The Room," but I have yet to see another mainstream action/kung fu film that that even comes close to this level of terrible insanity.
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I actually don't think this is a bad movie but it is a mixed martial arts remake of "Midnight Cowboy" with Channing Tatum as Jon Voight and Terrance Howard as Dustin Hoffman, complete with limp. Like almost beat for beat, right up through the end.
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I was just happy to see it in a mainstream theater (it played in AMC Theaters through as part of their AMC Independent Brand). This was on the same night as the premeire of "Hunger Games." An usher actually came into the theater while the film was playing and asked me if I was trying to sneak into the midnight showing.
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Seriously, watch this movie.
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Hasn't even come out yet...but judging by the
, this has all the makings of a classic. Basically, it's a cat and mouse thriller adapted from James L. Patterson's novel "Cross."Â
Now, Alex Cross was previously played by Morgan Freeman in "Kiss the Girls" and "Along Came a Spider," but this time Tyler Perry is portraying the titular FBI Profiler and Matthew Fox playing Heath Ledger.
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My favorite line: "You are sick and twisted."
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Finally it has the best tagline of the year so far: DON'T EVER CROSS...ALEX CROSS!
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I loved this movie and it is absolutely designed for this show. Right up there with "Crank: High Voltage" and "Punisher: War Zone" in terms of sheer gross insanity.
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What was supposed to be "Rocky Horror" for kids turned out to be the worst weekend box office opening of all time. Featuring Christopher Lloyd, Cary Elwes, Toni Braxton, and Chaz Palminteri and from "The Marketing Visionary who brought you Teletubies, Thomas the Tank Engine, and Eloise' and the Oscar-nominated director Mark Diamond, this children's film seems like an endurance test to say the least but it's such a catastrophic misfire it can't be ignored.
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See for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1kVrIkDW6Q
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This movie scared the living crap out of me. And also, yes, the loopy plot and bizarre character choices make this a perfect candidate.
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Co-starring Vanilla Ice, Tom Sizemore, and Dustin Diamond. Currently streaming on Netflix.
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One of the craziest, cheesiest, and weirdest superhero movies of the 90's. It also features potentially the creepiest last line of dialogue in a comic book movie ever: "No one refuses The Phantom."
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It's on Netflix Watch Instantly and definitely worth a look.
Episode 86 — Ernest Goes To Jail
in How Did This Get Made?
Posted
If only...sigh...
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