Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

JacobCrites

Members
  • Content count

    1504
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    12

Everything posted by JacobCrites

  1. JacobCrites

    Episode 47.5 — Minisode 47.5

    Am I insane or did that old guy have literally no reason to suspect that the brother was the killer?
  2. JacobCrites

    Episode 47.5 — Minisode 47.5

    The most mind blowing thing about the mom is that the fact that she talks in weird Lemony Snicket dialogue is never explained at all. Also, that she exists.
  3. JacobCrites

    Episode 47.5 — Minisode 47.5

    Shyeah! Between the short-shorts and half shirts, no teenager's body in this movie is ever more than 8% covered by clothes.
  4. JacobCrites

    Episode 182 — Repeat Your Keyword

    For me, this episode perfectly encapsuled what I loved about the Comedy Bang Bang TV show--hilariously mundane interviews with celebrities and hilariously insane interviews with random strangers. Tim, for my money, is a master at being hilariously mundane. He makes the most ridiculous, horrible ideas sound like the most common thing in the world. The way he describes, say, Popcorn.com (in which popcorn can be instantaneously delivered to you at any time, anywhere in the world, even on an airplane) like he's just talking about a pair of socks he just bought.
  5. JacobCrites

    Episode 182 — Repeat Your Keyword

    I honestly cannot remember the last time I laughed this hard. From Stitches to "Your name is Zazu" my abs hurt by the end of this one (okay, the place where my abs should be). I'd go as far as ranking this in the top 10 episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, while we're on the subject of ranking things.
  6. JacobCrites

    Episode 47.5 — Minisode 47.5

    Yeah, what's insane about it is that the slasher part of it STARTS OUT with an attempted rape! That's where it starts! So there's no way to escalate things after that; the rest of the deaths occur to people that are just sort of mildly mean. It should have built up to the rape, not kick things off with it! I also genuinely feel like this film was made by pedophiles. This isn't a movie with co-ed, freshmen in college teenagers. These are like, freshmen in high school teenagers; the oldest teen in this movie cannot be older than 17, which means that none of the characters would be legally allowed to watch this movie without a parent. And yet all these kids are wearing impossibly short shorts, feeling each other up constantly and cursing like sailors and banging disgustingly old people. I feel like this should have been a cautionary movie for teens, but since teens aren't even technically allowed to see it, it's basically just kiddie porn.
  7. JacobCrites

    Episode 179 — Pitch Slapped

    By the way, I saw the movie thanks to this episode and it is, indeed, a wonderful, super-fun film.
  8. JacobCrites

    Episode 181 — Happy Endings

    Almost spat out my coffee at this part. Another incredibly fun episode.
  9. JacobCrites

    Episode 47.5 — Minisode 47.5

    Sleepaway Camp is BONKERS! I'm not sure I've ever seen a movie struggle so much to find a tone. At first I was starting to think it was actually a satire of bad scary movies but...nope. Nope, it definitely wants to be taken seriously. And am I the only one that thinks that "big boobs" Judie looks EXACTLY like the main character's sister? And "M-E-G" Meg looks exactly like both of THEM? What the heck is happening in this movie? And I'm only half an hour in! Ahhh!
  10. JacobCrites

    Episode 47 — Super Mario Bros: LIVE

    So it says "Can you make a video game out of a movie?" as the first line on this episode description. It should be the other way around
  11. JacobCrites

    Episode 47 — Super Mario Bros: LIVE

    "The Super Mario Acquaintences" Best line of the episode. I will say, I was a tad bummed that nobody knew anything about the Mario games; it makes the movie that much more mindblowing knowing the series' charming innocence and seeing it transformed into a weirdly dystopian, highly sexual dinosaur universe contained in the sewers of Brooklyn.
  12. JacobCrites

    Nicknames for Scott

    Doc Ockerman
  13. JacobCrites

    Submit your new HDTGM logo here!

    This one is perfect.
  14. JacobCrites

    Episode 180 — Friends Without Words

    Instant classic.
  15. JacobCrites

    Submit your new HDTGM logo here!

    I ACCEPT THIS CHALLENGE. Do we have a deadline?
  16. JacobCrites

    Episode 46.5 — Minisode 46.5

    Dude you have posted that video like eleven times on this site. Easy on the Space Nazis already!
  17. JacobCrites

    Episode 46.5 — Minisode 46.5

    Ten minutes in, Mario is wearing green, Luigi is wearing red. Screw this movie.
  18. JacobCrites

    Episode 46.5 — Minisode 46.5

    Oh man, this movie bums me out. Not sure if I can make myself watch it again. Mario was such a childhood icon for me, and he remains one of the most consistently brilliant names in gaming. But this movie...WOW! I don't know if an adult could grasp how horrifying this was to see as a kid; portraying loveable, "Wa-HOO!"-shouting Mario into a fat drunk blob Bob Hoskins and cute little Yoshi into a friggin' TERRIFYING velociraptor...good lord. The weird animated introduction is still one of the most WTF-scenes of all time, though. Ah, who am I kidding. I'll watch it again.
  19. JacobCrites

    Episode 46.5 — Minisode 46.5

    Oh man, this movie bums me out. Not sure if I can make myself watch it again. Mario was such a childhood icon for me, and he remains one of the most consistently brilliant names in gaming. But this movie...WOW! I don't know if an adult could grasp how horrifying this was to see as a kid; portraying loveable, "Wa-HOO!"-shouting Mario into a fat drunk blob Bob Hoskins and cute little Yoshi into a friggin' TERRIFYING velociraptor...good lord. The weird animated introduction is still one of the most WTF-scenes of all time, though. Ah, who am I kidding. I'll watch it again.
  20. Karate Joe! How many people died?!
  21. JacobCrites

    Episode 179 — Pitch Slapped

    Fun episode, but I do hope Scott Jeffries returns to reveal more of his hilariously convoluted backstory.
  22. JacobCrites

    My wife....

    "My wifi!" --Internet Borat.
  23. Yeah Horatio is becoming one of my favorite comedians thanks to Earwolf. His work on improv4humans has been absolutely brilliant and he was a lot of fun on the FF. I found Steve to be a little too low-energy for this type of show, but the episode was a joy as always.
  24. JacobCrites

    Episode 46 — Barb Wire

    They have a few times; they've mentioned it on the show. But they're also just busy working people with different schedules. EDIT: I quoted the wrong person. My bad.
×