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JacobCrites

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Everything posted by JacobCrites

  1. JacobCrites

    Episode 178 — Motor Boating Around Town

    YES! An interview with Seth, Marissa and Lissler really would be the ultimate season finale.
  2. JacobCrites

    Episode 46 — Barb Wire

    I was of the camp that felt the past few episodes have felt a little...off, for some reason (mostly due to the guests, like Kevin Smith spending thirty minutes talking about Kevin Smith, or Doug Benson spending zero minutes talking about anything) but this episode was absolutely fantastic, one that I'm already looking forward to re-listening to. June was especially entertaining in this one. I just re-listened to the Catwoman episode the other day, and I don't think I've appreciated until now what a genuinely unique perspective she brings to the show. She does exactly what a good critic is supposed to do--she tries to like the movies she's watching. Even on a show built on watching terrible movies, she doesn't want them to be terrible. She tries to understand what they were going for, where they went wrong, and how they could have avoided it. June's awesome, is basically what I'm trying to say.
  3. So, last month the thread where we were brainstorming possible categories for the HDTGM Awards (which we're calling either the Howdies or the Literallies--let's vote on that, too) completely lost steam. So now let's take all the suggestions we got and pick which ones we want to see featured on the show! I feel like we should keep it to ten categories, not counting the obvious Worst Picture, Worst Actor, and Worst Acress awards. THE RULES -Everyone has a total of 100 points to assign. So, you could just pick 10 nominees and each give them 10 points. Or since there's so many categories, you could divvy your points out more sparingly. Do whatever you like, but posts without 100 points assigned won't be counted. -Only vote for movies that have been done on the show! -Cast your vote for your pick of the name of the awards (either The Howdies or The Literallies) -Cast your vote by October 16th (two weeks from tomorrow) so we can finalize the ten official categories. Remember, after this, we still need to nominate the films for each category! THE CATEGORIES These are all the categories that were submitted by you all, and a brief description of what they are if they're not self-explanatory. There's a ton. -Literally the Worst Sports Scene (this one was mentioned on the podcast) -Literally the Worst Use of CGI ("Godzilla", "The Creepy Joker Smiles in Old Dogs, etc.) Literally the Most Insane Screenplay (good-insane) -Literally the Most Convoluted Screenplay (bad-insane. Read: Pluto Nash). -Best Scene in a Bad Movie (A scene in a terrible movie that's actually well-executed, like the explosion in Absuction) -Most Insane Bathroom Scene (Think about it. There's a lot. Leprechaun in the Hood, Old Dogs, All About Steve...I could go on) -Most misogynistic depection of women. -Most Mis-Cast Actor (for instance, Gary Oldman in Tiptoes) -Biggest WTF? moment -Biggest Plot Hole (Speed 2 seemed to have a ton of them) -Worst Superhero movie -Worst Slumming Actor (Worst case of a great actor taking a shitty role in a shitty movie for $$, vanity, etc.) -Literally the most awkward sex scene (Burkesque anyone?) -Best of the worst (best performer in a terrible movie) -Best Use of Music -Best Mega-Acting Freakout -Worst Costumes -Craziest Line in a Movie -Best Death -Most Unintentionally Incompetent Male Character (Willem DaFoe, Speed 2, for instance) -Most Unintentionally Incompetent Female Character (Saundra Bullock, for either All About Steve or Speed 2) -Best Villain -Worst Villain -Worst "Best Friend" Character -Most Inexplicable Side Character (a character whose presense in the movie just makes no sense. Like the Psychologist from The Room, or the forest hippie from Birdemic) -Best Main-Character-Versus Himself-Faceoff (Superman vs. Clark Kent against Eddie Murphie vs. Eddie Murphy in Pluto Nash) -Most Inexplicable Celebrity Cameo -The Jason Statham Award for Defying Death in an Action Movie -Best Performance by a Hairpiece in a Nicolas Cage Film -Worst Performance by an Academy Award-winning Actor/Actress -Best Unintentional Comedy -Worst Intentional Comedy -Worst Adaptation (of a book, comic, TV show, remake, etc.) -How Did I Get Through This "How Did It Get Made"? (most difficult film to sit through for the show) -"Not the Bees!" (Best Animal Performance...other than the bees, because they've got that shit locked DOWN) -Most Unbelievable Plot -Worst Action Lead -Worst Romantic Lead Most amazingly bad affectation. (Things like accents, physical gestures, costumes... any unnecessary "thing" that an actor adds to a performance (Like Angelina Jolie's accent in "The Tourist")) Best/Worst ADR Most Questionable Search Engine Query. (Catwoman, Abduction, I Know Who Killed Me) Least-PC Acting Choice (I'm thinking Gary Oldman playing a little person, Justin Bartha playing retarded, most of the characters in Crank, etc.) "Nicholas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award" (can be given to the podcast's most prolific actor or actress of the following year.) Most Un-interesting or Non-heroic Protagonist Most Un-intersting or Non-threatening Antagonist 'Most heavy-handed (attempted) message' Best "Talking to Computer As if it's a Human... And it Responds!" Biggest Let Down! Movies that had serious hype and then pissed on your weekend! The "How Did This Get Laid" Award: most irrelevant/awkward/disturbing sex scenes The "How Did This Get Slayed" Award: most terrible death scenes (the crow-wing-throat-slash from Birdemic would be a mighty contender) "How Did This Get Quaid?"---Most puzzling appearance by Dennis and/or Randy Quaid in a motion picture Most blatant misuse of product placement. (Products that are unnecessary in a scene, but for the fact that a company paid for it to be there.) Worst camera work / use of Dutch angles. Best Endangerment of Faceless Civilians Worst Romantic Chemistry Most Unwanted Baby (The Back-Up Plan, The Smurfs, Twilight:Breaking Dawn, Tiptoes) Best Use of Child Endangerment Most Unbelievable Character Profession ________________ Let's make this happen, guys!
  4. JacobCrites

    Episode 178 — Motor Boating Around Town

    Man, picking a top ten this year is going to be tough. I feel like there's been far more brilliant episodes than "okay" episodes, and this one, despite having no real major character revelations or a real arc, is one of the most downright fun episodes of the year. And possibly the best Would You Rather ever?
  5. JacobCrites

    Episode 45 — Road House: LIVE!

    Something was just a bit off with this one. The commentary was good but Benson was a non-presence and for some reason the audience just wasn't into it.
  6. I'd argue it's the best sketch they've done. I love when they're able to create a mini universe in a scene with its own rules and logic. As much as I loved the Jason/Jessica/Lennon episode, it often felt like floating heads just dicking around. But in that pancake sketch you could actually visualize it in your head.
  7. JacobCrites

    Episode 95 — Groove Workshop

    I was too! BUT this was my first Who Charted ep and I enjoyed it thoroughly (aside from the egregious Austin Powers flub).
  8. JacobCrites

    Episode 177 — Penises Abounding

    Everyone on this episode was a joy.
  9. I actually liked the more interview-y nature of the episode. I've been a fan of Something Awful for ages so it was cool hearing more about their prominence in Internet culture.
  10. I know, right? What's the hold-up, iTunes?
  11. It should go without saying that in-studio mini episodes would be wonderful.
  12. JacobCrites

    Episode 176 — Out of Bleeps

    I don't know if it's just me, but for ME, this is one of the best episodes of the year. And I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately.
  13. JacobCrites

    Episode 44 — Straight Holes

    I swear there isn't a more consistently incredible podcast. The level of creativity that this show brings every week is just insane.
  14. JacobCrites

    Episode 4 — Desert Vacation

    The Multiple Referee and Desert Vacation sketches are still two of the finest pieces of comedy to grace my earholes in my admittedly short life.
  15. Just popping to say I'm really enjoying this show. And I know it's unreasonable/selfish...but if this show were every week...even every OTHER week... Well I'd enjoy that quite a bit. But I suppose it's nice to want things. Keep up the great work, Jake!
  16. I can't remember if I've already said this but I cannot stress enough how much the eHarmony Pancake Breakfast sketch needs to be included. I've probably listened to it ten times and it's always hilarious.
  17. JacobCrites

    Episode 12 — Gelmania XII

    Just discovered this podcast last week and my God is it brilliant. There's too much going on here to really dissect all the things it's trying to do, but it nails all of it. I feel like I'm a tea bag being steeped in the camomile of someone's imagination (brah).
  18. JacobCrites

    Episode 13 — Nocturnal Emotions

    Oh yeah. Even though I wasn't big on the episode, I got a major kick out of the theme. And for the record: I didn't HATE this. Didn't think it was bad or anything...just didn't quite understand what it was going for. I'll listen to the next two most likely at least just to make sure I've given it a proper chance (Gelmania didn't really grab me in its first ep either--now it's one of my faves).
  19. JacobCrites

    Episode 13 — Nocturnal Emotions

    I don't uh...I don't get this. Is it supposed to be funny? Interesting? Real? Fake? It doesn't really work on any of those fronts, from my perspective, and I've listened to and loved pretty much every Earwolf Podcast. This is just...I don't even know. I don't get it.
  20. JacobCrites

    Episode 175 — Mop Water

    One of the most insane episodes of all time. I was a little disappointed by the shift back to ALW until Mike made a surprise visit during plugs, which evened things out/made things ten times more wonderfully confusing. One of the most memorable episodes of the year for sure.
  21. JacobCrites

    Episode 35 — I Fixed It!

    I'm relistening to this episode (which is fantastic) and I never had really listened to the Chris Gore segment. Good lord. This man is awful. What is he even talking about?
  22. It's gotta be the latest one--the Bully Book Club scene was phenomenal.
  23. JacobCrites

    Episode 43 — Topless UFO Cult

    Another hysterical episode. The Breaking Bad reference was just perfect.
  24. JacobCrites

    Episode 174 — Series Regulars

    Literally the exact same thought process.
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