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JacobCrites

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Everything posted by JacobCrites

  1. JacobCrites

    Episode 37 — Speed 2: Cruise Control

    Amazing episode. TOP FIVE! FAST FIVE? HIGH FIVE! ...Anyway, I was truly baffled by Willhelm Dafoe's motivation in this movie. Maybe I'm alone in this, but at the beginning of this thing, I thought the whole point of his take-over of this ship was so that he could, essentially, go on a suicide mission and get revenge against those who fired him. He was so bitter about getting fired, and he kept on going on about his under-appreciated intellect...and yet, no. Nope. The dude just wanted some diamonds. And of course, to spend some more times with his buddies, the leeches. The gang missed the best line of the movie, in my opinion: "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," HE SAID TO THE LEACHES. The craziest thing about that ending "crash" sequence was that there was all this tension built around, "Oh no! They can't crash into that oil-tanker! It'll explode and everyone in it will die!" But then at the end, the THING FRIGGIN' EXPLODES! "But all those people died!" you say? Well you're wrong, because before Vilhelm Dafoe crashed into the antennae of the tanker, all the dudes in the tanker got in lifeboats and evacuated. WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT TEN MINUTES AGO WHEN THE HUGE CRUISE LINER WAS...ugh. This movie. THIS MOVIE! THE NERVE OF THIS MOVIE to introduce a sympathy dog in the last ten minutes of the movie! The audacity! How are the stakes not high enough? A cruise ship full of characters that we've gotten to know over the past HOUR AND FIFTY MINUTES is about to crash into a highly populated town! The bad guy, William I think his name is, has captured the leading lady! Things are happening! But nope, we don't care enough, and so the movie has to resort to threaten a poor puppies life for cheap tension. Oh man...I hated this movie. You know what really irritated me, though? The fact that that blind girl got rescued in the first ten minutes of Billiam taking over the ship! That was insane. I thought the fact that a poor deaf girl was trapped in an elevator and this actiony dude has to save her was going to be like, the movie. But it totally isn't. And good thing, too. Otherwise, how would we have gotten that tension-filled "slowly lowering a rope into a propeller scene." Yay?
  2. JacobCrites

    Atheism and negative reactions

    I found the comment surprising, really. I understood what the person was trying to say, I guess. There are a lot of Atheists that are absolutely vitriolic toward any sort of religion, sure. As much as I love Ricky Gervais' comedy, I can't stand his blog, for example. Every post is a mini soap-box, and if there's not some backhanded remark against God, then there will be three in the next post to make up for it. That sort of thing is annoying. But...man, improv4humans just is not that show. I just don't see it. I do believe in God and the Bible, but one of the things I've always loved and respected about this show (and Matt Besser as a comedian) is that it doesn't discriminate against people of differing faiths. The "Big Foot Descendants" sketch (as I have apparently decided to name it) is possibly my favorite one the show has ever done (and I'm actually in favor of schools teaching other theories in addition to evolution) Because that sketch isn't making fun of Christians--it's making fun of ignorance and extremism. Even in this episode, after a rousing discussion on Christians' general hatred toward Atheists, the gang did a sketch that encompassed the emotions behind the issue without even using the words "Christian" or "Atheists." It would have been easy to do a sketch bashing Christians, but they didn't. This is what's great about improv4humans: whenever it gets political, the improv gets down to the emotions behind the issues rather than the issues themselves. And that's more interesting. And fun. We don't all have to believe the same thing, but we should be able to at least talk about those differences honestly once in awhile, and at the very least, for God's sake, laugh about 'em. And really, if we can't laugh about ourselves every once in awhile, what's the point of waking up in the morning? Not to mention, if you can't see the corruption and hypocracy that's so prevalent in religion, then you must be actively closing your eyes and plugging your ears at all hours of the day. Religion has earned a few judgmental improv sketches at the very least. Personally, I like having my faith challenged. As it is written: thou must checketh thyself, or thou shalt most certainly wrecketh thyself.
  3. JacobCrites

    Episode 36 — On the Line

    Great episode. I was pretty baffled by this one. SO MANY PLOT THREADS for a simple romantic comedy! You've got 1. The band that broke up seven years ago; one of 'em is still hanging onto the dream, and you get the sense that Hubcap still secretly wants to get back with the band given all this random song-outbursts. 2. The Reebok account. 3. The office rival who steals his pitch idea. 4. The baseball of secrets! 5. Hubcap trying to get the girl back. 6. The douche-troupe stealing his dates. 7. Al Green. 8. The newspaper covering every aspect of Hubcap's love life. 9. The old highschool rival that tries to sabatoge Hubcap's love life. 10. THE HIGHSCHOOL RIVAL'S WIFE WHO GETS KICKED IN THE FACE AND LIKES IT! That is faaaaaaaaar to much crap for an Nsync vehicle. Also, Jason mentioned that loud-chewing scene when the gang is eating Frosted Flakes. Well, imagine listening to that through headphones. Yep. Not fun. Wet chewing noises blasted directly into my ear holes.
  4. JacobCrites

    Episode 158 — Words with Friends

    Oh man, how great was this? I've been on a wicked Community kick lately (and Britta is my favorite character) not to mention Gillian's first appearance is one of my all-time favorite episodes of CBB. And Peele was amazing. Both need to be regulars.
  5. JacobCrites

    Episode 35 — Tiptoes

    Sorry to be one of the ones who completely derailed the conversation. But instead of complaining about the fact that people aren't talking about the movie, why not try and get it back on track by actually talking about it? On topic: has anyone here seen the two-hour director's cut? Is it better? Worse? I feel that the elements in play in this movie prevent it from being good in any stretch of the word, but maybe it at least makes more sense? I would also love to see a documentary about the person who thought introducing Marxism into the movie was a good idea.
  6. JacobCrites

    Hopes and Dreams for The CBB TV show

    All I want is a calvacade of Andy Daly suicides. That would be such a treat for the fans! And maybe a visit to one of Don Dimelo's productions at the Fairy Tale Children's Theater? And a chart on the wall indicating the increasing weight of the Diner Marshall? And a map pinpointing all the cities in California that Huell Howser has visited? And a live re-enactment of the Fred Savage/Scott Auckerman slash fiction? Etc?
  7. JacobCrites

    Episode 156 — Anniversary Party!

    Ditto, brother. That Dalton Wilcox episode helped me through a pretty tough time, recently, and it wasn't the first time the show has made my week a little brighter.
  8. JacobCrites

    Episode 156 — Anniversary Party!

    St. Vincent sounded incredible. And she was quick on the draw when she needed to be! Good, good stuff. I was disappointed that we didn't hear more from Baby, though. He sounded like he had some pretty significant stuff to say.
  9. JacobCrites

    Episode 35 — Tiptoes

    Whoa. Well I certainly want to apologize if I sounded passive aggressive or troll-y. I didn't post it just for kicks. And I was genuinely offended by it. I used the term "bummed out" but...anyway, I meant it as offended. The reason I even posted this here and not in some letter to Earwolf is because, well sheesh, I'm not livid. I didn't feel the need to rant and rage. I'm a huge fan of the show, and this one little thing didn't set well with me. I know that the HDTDM crew read the boards so I thought I'd let 'em know, in a way I thought was reasonable, and maybe give them a chance to say something about it. Obviously they're not malicious people who hate dwarves and mentally handicapped people. I didn't think I was being unreasonable, and if I ended up just sounding like an overly-sensitive buzz-killer trying to stir up trouble then I really want to apologize for that. On topic: they didn't talk about the corn rows enough.
  10. JacobCrites

    Episode 35 — Tiptoes

    So you're saying using the words "midget" and "retard" is always totally cool and no one has a right to be offended by them? I don't want to get into a fight here, because anyone who's okay with Liz Lemon is okay with me, but I feel it's a bit ignorant to pretend that those words don't offend people.
  11. JacobCrites

    Episode 35 — Tiptoes

    I was a little bummed that you guys kept using the word "midget" even though it's clearly offensive to little people. But...idk, maybe it's not a big deal? Is it like saying the N-word or is it like saying Black instead of African American, where only uptight people really care about the difference? Hard to say. I'm not a little person. But why risk it, if you're not sure? Why bother offending an entire group of people? What does truly harsh my buzz (yo) is when you guys throw around the word "retarded." Definitely not an okay thing. And I wouldn't say I'm the easily offended type (how could I be, watching these movies every week?). Anyway, it was thoroughly entertaining as always. I really don't want to sound like "that guy" with those complaints up there. This is, by and large, my favorite podcast. But as far as being socially aware, you guys could step it up. That's fair, right?
  12. JacobCrites

    Episode 23 — Sentimental Lady

    This might be the most consistently brilliant episode yet. And that's saying something. Great work, guys
  13. JacobCrites

    Episode 154 — Finger Guns

    This womped up my jams. EASILY a top 5 of the year ep (showbiz talk for episode).
  14. My one complaint with the show is that they didn't talk about the fact that Randy Quaid-Bot was 63 YEARS OLD! WHY WOULD ANYONE INVENT ROBOTS THAT AGE? DEBUNKED! But I think that's a testament to how completely, mind-shatteringly confusing this movie was. I loved that even when there were only 30 seconds left in the show the gang was STILL uncovering plot holes. They really captured the infuriating anger that results from watching this movie. And the guests were great. Love St. Claire.
  15. JacobCrites

    Episode 152 — Behind the Irony Curtain

    Colin. That is amazing.
  16. JacobCrites

    Episode — Broken Mother's Back

    I'd just like to say...this has become my new favorite podcast. That is all And yeah...I think Matt owes us all at least a hint as to who this musician was. So I guess that WASN'T all.
  17. JacobCrites

    Episode 148 — Wipeout!

    If any of you were wondering, "Hey, if I listen to this four times will I still laugh uncontrollably?" the answer is yes. Yes it you will.
  18. JacobCrites

    Episode 152 — Behind the Irony Curtain

    The disclaimer didn't feel necessary, honestly (if anything, I'd like to hear one about the two characters last week...yikes). Ed was perfectly game, and it all built up to one of the best laughs of the year on this show ("I thought they were mustard packets!").
  19. JacobCrites

    SEGMENTS

    You could always add a little improv. Pick the most ridiculous scene in a movie, and act out the behind the scenes footage. Acting out *ahem* HOW IT GOT MADE (natch). Have one person be the director, the others can be actors, writers, etc.
  20. If you can't see why Jukebox Jury is the best thing in the history of the universe then there's no saving you.
  21. JacobCrites

    Episode 11 — Mars Hopping

    The Blurpo bit was an absolute classic.
  22. Birdemic is so unbelievable. Every second is baffling in its awfulness. It has, without a doubt, the worst sound editing to ever see its way into a motion picture. It's like you're sticking your ear in a seashell every time someone talks. There's this constant "WSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" noise in the background...well, I say constant, but it cuts in and out without notice. Keeps you on your toes, I guess. And the special effects! WHOA, man! Special is either the exact wrong word or the exact right word to describe them. They're essentially just stagnant images of 1) Birds, 2) Orange-ish blobs resembling fire or 3)Smoke? I think that's supposed to be smoke. Now, sometimes the stagnant birds move around the screen, as a real bird might. But they'll probably just sit there in the middle of the screen, with only their wings moving slightly. You've truly seen nothing like this movie before. It did, however, inspire me to make a t-shirt design. It's just a quick and dirty design I did in my sketchbook while watching the movie but it's a good one, I think. I'll post it soon. Loving the new minisodes, by the way
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