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JacobCrites

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Posts posted by JacobCrites

  2. Posted

    I just started watching this on You Tube. I'm only ten minutes in and I had to stop and get my bearings. My mind is totally blown! What the hell is the deal with that Mom?!?

    The most mind blowing thing about the mom is that the fact that she talks in weird Lemony Snicket dialogue is never explained at all. Also, that she exists.

  4. Posted

    I always feel so stupid when Tim comes on. I know everyone else gets it and loves it, but I don't and it makes me feel like a comedy moron. I almost never laugh when he's on. =(

    For me, this episode perfectly encapsuled what I loved about the Comedy Bang Bang TV show--hilariously mundane interviews with celebrities and hilariously insane interviews with random strangers. Tim, for my money, is a master at being hilariously mundane. He makes the most ridiculous, horrible ideas sound like the most common thing in the world. The way he describes, say, Popcorn.com (in which popcorn can be instantaneously delivered to you at any time, anywhere in the world, even on an airplane) like he's just talking about a pair of socks he just bought.

    • Like 4

  6. Posted

     

     

    The movie to me comes off as an unintentional spoof of camp slasher movies of the 80s where all the kids are horny or high and the counselors are all dicks or stupid. Yet it takes a real quick turn into disturbing when the more serious deaths occur. The sequels really play on the spoof factor by even having kids dress up as Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees, while Angela kills them while dressed up as Leatherface. Even in the sequels the minor characters all start blending together until they get killed in horrifying fashion.

    Yeah, what's insane about it is that the slasher part of it STARTS OUT with an attempted rape! That's where it starts! So there's no way to escalate things after that; the rest of the deaths occur to people that are just sort of mildly mean. It should have built up to the rape, not kick things off with it!

     

    I also genuinely feel like this film was made by pedophiles. This isn't a movie with co-ed, freshmen in college teenagers. These are like, freshmen in high school teenagers; the oldest teen in this movie cannot be older than 17, which means that none of the characters would be legally allowed to watch this movie without a parent. And yet all these kids are wearing impossibly short shorts, feeling each other up constantly and cursing like sailors and banging disgustingly old people. I feel like this should have been a cautionary movie for teens, but since teens aren't even technically allowed to see it, it's basically just kiddie porn.

  9. Posted

    Sleepaway Camp is BONKERS! I'm not sure I've ever seen a movie struggle so much to find a tone. At first I was starting to think it was actually a satire of bad scary movies but...nope. Nope, it definitely wants to be taken seriously.

     

    And am I the only one that thinks that "big boobs" Judie looks EXACTLY like the main character's sister? And "M-E-G" Meg looks exactly like both of THEM? What the heck is happening in this movie? And I'm only half an hour in! Ahhh!

  11. Posted

    "The Super Mario Acquaintences"

    Best line of the episode.

     

    I will say, I was a tad bummed that nobody knew anything about the Mario games; it makes the movie that much more mindblowing knowing the series' charming innocence and seeing it transformed into a weirdly dystopian, highly sexual dinosaur universe contained in the sewers of Brooklyn.

  18. Posted

    Oh man, this movie bums me out. Not sure if I can make myself watch it again. Mario was such a childhood icon for me, and he remains one of the most consistently brilliant names in gaming. But this movie...WOW! I don't know if an adult could grasp how horrifying this was to see as a kid; portraying loveable, "Wa-HOO!"-shouting Mario into a fat drunk blob Bob Hoskins and cute little Yoshi into a friggin' TERRIFYING velociraptor...good lord.

     

    The weird animated introduction is still one of the most WTF-scenes of all time, though.

     

    Ah, who am I kidding. I'll watch it again.

  19. Posted

    Oh man, this movie bums me out. Not sure if I can make myself watch it again. Mario was such a childhood icon for me, and he remains one of the most consistently brilliant names in gaming. But this movie...WOW! I don't know if an adult could grasp how horrifying this was to see as a kid; portraying loveable, "Wa-HOO!"-shouting Mario into a fat drunk blob Bob Hoskins and cute little Yoshi into a friggin' TERRIFYING velociraptor...good lord.

     

    The weird animated introduction is still one of the most WTF-scenes of all time, though.

     

    Ah, who am I kidding. I'll watch it again.

  25. Posted

     

     

    I always just assumed they have better, more exciting rich people movie star things to do together than watch awful movies when they do find the time.

    They have a few times; they've mentioned it on the show. But they're also just busy working people with different schedules.

     

    EDIT: I quoted the wrong person. My bad.

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