PlanBFromOuterSpace

Actually, everyone sort of knows that they were really Han's kids, but when Disney bought Lucasfilm, they were quick to sweep it under the rug. That's right, they went all "scorched Earth" on the extended universe just to cover up that ONE little controversy...

As much as he wants to disown it, it had to kill Lucas to stop himself from going back and giving this one the Special Edition treatment. I mean, they wouldn't be JEFFERSON Starship for much longer, right? By the way, Jefferson Starship was the answer I kept getting in that "Which famous starship would YOU command?" quiz that was making the rounds on Facebook earlier this year.

I too think that liver is one of the grossest substances on Earth. My mom used to make me and my sister eat that shit, until one fateful day... My parents split up when I was 14, at which point my sister and I became total latchkey kids, while mom started working alllllll the time. Anyway, she'd come home from work, at which point us kids were subjected to mom's dietary reign of terror that included all sorts of stuff that we hated that she absolutely loved. One night, she made liver, the worst of the worst, which neither of us wanted to touch. She knew we hated it and that we hated HER for bringing it into our home. However, tonight would be different. She would give us this ultimatum: If we ate it all, she would never make us eat it again. Sweet deal, right? We HAPPILY scarfed it down in record time, knowing that this would be the last time that we'd have to do so. Fast forward a couple months. Mom gets home from work, we're starving, we're wondering what's for dinner. Mom says, "I'm making liver". I'm all, "But...I mean...you said...we...you promised...we ate it all last time...". She reiterated, "I'M making liver. If you'd like some, you can have some. If not, you don't have to eat it, but that's what I'M making." That's the night that I learned how to make grilled cheese. I probably learned how to flip burgers a short time after that. Soon, I would become a master of throwing something on a cooking sheet, putting it in the oven for ten minutes, flipping it over, and then waiting another ten minutes. I don't think I've picked up a single additional cooking skill since about 1993, but that's how liver kinda sorta almost in a roundabout way made me semi-capable of being somewhat self-sufficient in the kitchen and has made me NOT die well into my thirties.

I want to know more about this "Flying High" show...

Finn was a little odd in that he didn't really seem to fit his own backstory, like he was a bit too comedic for someone in the situation he was in. Small gripe though. Another small gripe that isn't really a spoiler, but does anyone else feel that a certain someone was a bit over the top in their facial acting? Not "Over The Top" over the top, but maybe a little theatrical.

Let us not forget that he was also in "Crash", one of the finest ensemble comedies of the 21st century!

BB-8's mission is to go down stairs in the most adorable way possible!

That's also a double dip! It was a re-edited version of the Jesus parts from their Bible TV mini series!

Meanwhile, the same person finds the super gay caricatures in Adam Sandler movies to be high-larious, even though they serve no other purpose than to be the butt of a joke or to be there to make straight characters in the movie feel uncomfortable. Actually, we did get a complaint or two for "Chuck and Larry" about the gay stuff even though these guys acting like a gay couple IS THE ACTUAL PLOT OF THE MOVIE.

YES! I've managed a theater for far longer than I care to admit, and we get stuff like that all the time. The worst time for this is around awards season, because we're a very small market in the biggest chain in the country, and the people of this town don't seem to understand that the entertainment world doesn't revolve around them. But hey, they don't know what the fuck these movies that they can't see are about anyway, but they're up for awards, so if they see them, they must be all sophisticated n' shit. Anyway, we're located right in the middle of "I'm not racist, but..." Country, and a concerned customer once pulled me aside after a film to tell me in a very matter-of-fact way that he thought the black characters in the movie seemed to be portrayed in too heroic of a manner (because like you said, we MAKE the movies, right?). I don't remember what it was exactly, some film where a white doctor goes to the African jungle or something, but apparently the tribespeople were more more noble savage than "Ooga Booga" savage, which disappointed said customer. You better believe though that once we got "Twelve Years A Slave", it became SUPER quotable. It's like there were so many hateful things that these people were just dying to say, and y'know, if someone said it in the movie, it meant it was okay to repeat it constantly and loudly... One of the worst (actually, it became several of the worst) customer reactions we had was to "Brokeback Mountain". It took us a little while to get that one, because it opened in limited release and eventually expanded. As WE all know, there was a lot of hype and controversy going into that one because of the subject matter, which wasn't a surprise or twist or anything that was revealed later on like "The Crying Game" or something. I mean, if you knew ONE thing about "Brokeback", it was that it was the gay cowboy movie, right? Well, imagine the surprise of some shit-kicker around the forty-minute mark that didn't know what the movie was about, that was being dragged to it by a girlfriend that ALSO didn't know what it was about, only that it was up for every award under the sun. We had our share of FURIOUS customers coming out and swearing up a storm at us, like we'd tricked them into seeing it. "I didn't pay to see no gay shit!", I heard more than once, and while there's certainly more to the movie, they would have noticed if they'd taken even 10 fucking seconds to look anything up themselves that yes, they certainly did.

Not. Even. Close.

If you include Gleep-Glorp or whatever the fuck the thing is in this movie, I suppose you could call this part two of LeBlanc's "Primate Duology". Also, I suggest "Spymate", a movie about the adventures of Emma Roberts and her pet monkey spy.

I think that this is an actual device that he'd had made a couple years before to shield his eyes from ever having to see that monkey baseball movie of his.

Wait, so he completely covers his face and eyes BEFORE having to carefully aim at something?

While true, the writers of this film couldn't figure out a way to use a HAMMER properly, so I'm guessing that you put more thought into what that chair could do than they did.

Jesus, I didn't know that HDTGM was in it with the Cartel! I imagine it being just like the movie "Sicario", but with t-shirts...and Jason in the Benicio role...

Speaking of SuperCuts, I just finished watching "Return of the Jedi" again, and I'm curious to see the evolution of Mark Hamill's hair game in "Force Awakens".

This reminds me of when I got to meet Chuck D when he came and talked at my school about a decade ago. I went to Slippery Rock University in western Pennsylvania, and while we'd get some good acts and speakers, it always seemed like the people that were in charge of planning events (Public Relations majors, maybe? I don't know...) weren't very good at it. Anyway, Chuck was there to kick off Black History Month, gave a great lecture, and told some good stories. I didn't get to ask this in the Q&A, but afterwards, he signed a lot of stuff and talked to fans, and this was part of the conversation I had with him... Me: "Sir, I was wondering if you had a chance to look at our schedule, if you happened to see what we had planned for the rest of our Black History Month celebration?" (pause) Chuck: "Yeah, I saw it all right..." Me: "Okay, cool, so I want to ask you what you thought about..." Chuck: "Oh, I know where this is going..." Me: "What are your thoughts on the fact that you're a pretty big deal, that you have some really smart and important stuff to say, that you were brought in to kick off Black History Month, but that we're apparently ENDING the month with a very special screening of 'Soul Plane'?" (pause) Chuck: "Yeeaahhhhhhh. Yeah, I don't think that the person that made that decision is in this room right now." END SCENE He actually got a kick out of someone bringing that up and was a super cool dude and talked to me and my friend for a few more minutes. When asked by another fan whether Flavor Flav was being exploited on TV, he claimed that he WASN'T, but mind you, this was February 2005, so he'd been on maybe ONE VH-1 show by that point.

The Silversun Pickups were easily the best part of "Sucker Punch", and by that, I actually mean the TRAILER for "Sucker Punch".

"Kirk Cameron's (insert title) _____________________"

Editing all the extra babble could have trimmed a good 15 minutes from the film! The movie itself wouldn't have been any better, but at least this overlong bore of a film's name would have been less ironic.

Ommission: I don't know how anyone didn't say it during the "Roshomon" theory, but using that explanation, GISH is Iron Man. I mean, she's injured and taken prisoner, forced to make weapons, distracting her captors by whipping up petty, non-lethal bullshit while making herself a war machine on the DL? She's Tony Stark!

Tag line: "Man of Shit. And Breadcrumbs."

It's just amazing how bland and boring "Returns" ended up being, like how after all the insanity and craziness behind the scenes, THAT'S what we finally ended up with when WB did end up pulling the trigger on getting a movie made. "Man of Steel" reminded me of "Incredible Hulk" in a way, like they were so much more like the kind of movies their predecessors should have been, but still weren't quite there. They were better, but not good. Jon Peters' tough guy past again raises the question "What exactly IS a street fighter?".

And that was one of MY favorite parts, how the competition to see who could release the first Lambada movie was like the shittiest arms race ever.* * This post is dedicated to the rain forests, y'all.