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PlanBFromOuterSpace

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Everything posted by PlanBFromOuterSpace

  1. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Battleship

    Their weakness is sunlight, so they invade HAWAII?!? Coming from an advanced civilization and all, I figure they'd be smart enough to start up north, like where those vampires attacked in "30 Days of Night". From what I understand, using Battleship's logic, if we needed to get to outer space in a hurry, we could just pop into the Smithsonian or the Air and Space Museum or whatever and take the pod that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin got to the moon in, because it's still totally primed for space travel.
  2. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    The Pick of Destiny

    I remember seeing Jack Black on The Daily Show or something, like the week after the movie had come out and tanked, and Stewart asked him if he wanted to show a clip, and Black said something like "It didn't help on any of the other shows".
  3. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Southland Tales (2006)

    You son of a bitch. Look what you made me do... http://youtu.be/ra7Fa6kE718
  4. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Southland Tales (2006)

    Are you SURE you made it through the whole thing? Or do you just mean it isn't in this clip? Because man, that pretentious musical number happens, and it happens like a motherfucker...
  5. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 36 — On the Line

    Am I the only one still trying to keep "honkey" alive?
  6. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Southland Tales (2006)

    Guys, I think they FEAR Southland Tales. That's the only reasonable explanation for why it's name has never even been whispered on the podcast. Going back to what I said about the cast being a who's who of sketch comedians, there has to be SOMEONE associated with this thing that they can get on as a guest.
  7. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    The Wizard (1989)

    I just remembered that they also handed out a special mini-issue of Nintendo Power at the theater that pretty much hyped all the big games that were coming out soon, like Metal Gear 2: Snake's Revenge! Jesus, why don't I ever remember USEFUL shit?!?!?
  8. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 36 — On the Line

    This is a little off-topic, but has anyone else seen "Women in Trouble" and "Elektra Luxx"? It's a pair of films feature Carla Gugino, Adrianne Palicki, and "On The Line"'s very own Turkey Sub as porn stars, yet manages to be completely unsexy, unfunny, and boring. The films also star Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Malin Ackerman, Marley Shelton, Julianne Moore, Elizabeth Berkeley, Connia Britton, and Timothy Olyphant. Yeah, Gugino, Ackerman, Berkely, and Moore are all in this thing, and NO ONE shows their tits! Crazy! Here's my Netflix review of "Elektra Luxx": If I didn't know better, I could have sworn that this movie had been released direct to video in 1998, as it looks and feels like any of a dozen other movies that appeared on video store shelves in the wake of similar (but much better) movies like Chasing Amy, Swingers, and selections from the Great American Parker Posey catalog. It thinks it's funnier than it is, it thinks it's smarter than it is, it thinks it's wittier, more provocative, and more touching than it is, but it's really just a mess of a film. It seems like it was made by someone that saw those better films and said "I want to make a movie like that", but had no original or good ideas of their own to bring to the table. It's still better than Women in Trouble though, but that isn't saying much, if anything, at all. I'm going to go re-post this in the "Suggestions" thread...
  9. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Southland Tales (2006)

    I watched this on Netflix recently, and I seriously think I aged about 4 and a half years in the time it took to get through it. At one point in the film, it FELT like it had gone for two and a half hours already and was about to wrap up, and I was shocked to see that I'd MAYBE hit the halfway mark. This movie is just so ridiculously far up it's own ass, and I'm still trying to figure out why the cast was like a who's who of late '90s-early '00s TV sketch comedy. Actually, this movie DID feel like a bunch of unfunny skits that get stuck in the last 15 minutes of SNL all strung together.
  10. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    The Wizard (1989)

    When I saw that first footage of Super Mario Brothers 3 on the big screens (because 8-bit graphics blown up on giant screens look fantastic, right?), I blew my load. I didn't realize it right away though. I mean, I was 11, I didn't know what a load was until a little later, but looking back, I'm pretty much 100% sure that that's what happened...
  11. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Sex and the City 2 (2010)

    If ever a film premise lended itself to the "found footage horror" format, it was this. "Last summer, four impossibly over-confident middle-aged women went to the Middle East to whore up the local population. They were never heard from again, but three months later, these tapes were found...".
  12. I saw the cover for this thing on Netflix, and it made me think of all those straight-to-VHS Olsen Twins movies from the '90s, where the front of the box just looked like some Sears portrait studio shot of them in costumes that basically told you what the movie would be about. Yes, that's what I thought of when I saw the cover of "Big Money Rustlas". I'm sure it's the equivalent of "Unforgiven" for the face-painted douchebag set.
  13. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    I Melt With You

    I actually got this disc from Netflix as soon as it came out, and you're right, everyone in this thing is a total asshole. Not since I watched Southland Tales has a movie FELT as long as this, and really, what is Carla Gugino doing here if she isn't showing tits? Also, I wonder how much money they spent to license all the music, because there was no way this thing was ever hitting theaters.
  14. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 36 — On the Line

    Any chance you can get ike back to talk about all those lousy Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer "comedies" that he's in? I mean, I know a guy's gotta eat, but those things are the worst. The "jokes" in their "Movie" movies all seem to just follow a pattern. A) Character A wanders on screen, kind of looking or acting like that one guy from that one movie that did that one thing. Character B directly references and explains the character that Character A maybe kind of looks like, saying something like "Hey, aren't you that one guy from that one movie that did that one thing?". C) Someone gets kicked in the nuts and/or someone gets hit in the head, somebody calls someone else gay, a bad Borat impersonator pops in for no reason and says something, etc. D) Long, awkward pause to allow the audience to recover from the gut-busting hilarity they just witnessed. E) Repeat Steps A-D every 45 seconds. F) Roll credits for 15 minutes to pad the film's 63-minute runtime, to the tune of a parody of the song that had a video on YouTube that was a sensation for a week 2 weeks ago. Is that about right? Yeah, I'd love to hear Ike come back and talk about those someday.
  15. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 36 — On the Line

    I've seen this happen a lot in movies. Then, the person holding the handheld gaming device makes it 100% clear that they've never even seen one of these things, because when they're told to "play" it, they'll just violently shake the shit out of it. Also, wasn't the Game Boy Advance out at this point? Way to not be on the cutting edge of what's hip and cool, "On the Line"!
  16. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 35.5 — Minisode 35.5

    Jeez, it looks like a sketch that got cut from Mad TV because it just didn't quite meet their high standards. I'm probably telling the truth and I don't even realize it...
  17. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 35.5 — Minisode 35.5

    Does exhibit B feature the other guys as the construction worker, Indian, and...boat captain? Doorman? Plumber? Who WERE the other Village People?
  18. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 35.5 — Minisode 35.5

    "It's embarrassing, everyone knows you as the guy that always chokes." The audio from the trailer ALONE is a masterpiece of unintentional comedy! Does this mean we could be getting a "From Justin to Kelly" episode in the future?
  19. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 34.5 — Minisode 34.5

    Jesus, the foreheads would be ENORMOUS...
  20. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 34.5 — Minisode 34.5

    If this were a Crispin Glover film, he would have even had midgets playing the regular-sized people...and they would have had Down's Syndrome. This movie needs to be playing on a TV in the background of an episode of The League next season or something.
  21. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 34 — The Adventures of Pluto Nash

    Has anyone seen how much "John Carter" is actually making? I did pretty badly over here, but it looks like it's cleaning up overseas, so good for them, I guess. The point I want to make is that "Pluto Nash" still holds the distinction of being the biggest space flop of all, so none of this "It's known for losing the most money UNTIL..." crap. It's special, like in the "gets all the great parking spots" sense.
  22. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 34 — The Adventures of Pluto Nash

    I remember seeing a teaser trailer for "Titan A.E." in the summer of '99, probably before Star Wars or something, and I think all it was was a ship flying through space, accompanied by a voiceover. Couldn't tell if it was animated, live action, or what. Anyway, at the end of the trailer, I heard a guy in my theater say "THAT is going to be a great movie" pretty loudly, and without a hint of sarcasm, to whoever he was sitting with. It was then that I knew that I'd finally found the person that had actually paid to see "Wing Commander" earlier that same year.
  23. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 33.5 — Minisode 33.5

    I've listened to plenty of podcasts where the hosts stay completely on-topic, no one talks over each other, friends aren't invited on to talk about anything, and the sponsors aren't ever plugged. More often than not, those podcasts are boring as shit. The personalities of the hosts here are terrific, and they're generally pretty good judges of who to bring on as guests, whether they have anything to plug or not, and whether they have anything to do with the movies being discussed or not (Side note: It would be awesome if you guys did an episode on "Hellraiser: Revelation" and brought back "Hellraiser: Bloodline" co-star Adam Scott to discuss it). Also, as many have pointed out, this is an "and a half" episode, which in itself IS a hype show. They've been pretty short in the past, running at just a few minutes, so even if you cut the interview stuff from this one, it's STILL about as long as a regular full-length mini-episode. Lighten the fuck up, people. Please.
  24. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 33 — Abduction

    It could also be that absolutely NO ONE thought that Taylor Lautner was cool. In whatever universe this movie takes place in, he must be the coolest cat, but in ours, somebody would be telling him to shut the fuck up after every ever half-assed attempt at a witty remark or one-liner. Speaking of alternate universes, I'd like to know what else goes on in the place where the biggest musical act in the world is a bunch of singing chipmunks that perform nothing but COVERS.
  25. PlanBFromOuterSpace

    Episode 33.5 — Minisode 33.5

    I haven't seen "The Artist" yet either.
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