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PlanBFromOuterSpace

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Posts posted by PlanBFromOuterSpace

  1. Posted

    Based on one of the reviews on a site I frequent, I was able to figure it out based on A picture and like 2 sentences about Smulders' role, which said something about her being the only reason to re-watch the movie. Based on her appearance in Avengers, the only thing I've seen her in, I'm convinced that she's some sort of charisma vacuum, so her performance wasn't the thing to pay attention to, leaving the twist to be the most obvious thing a screenwriter would do to make the audience think they've been mindfucked.

  2. Posted

     

    So when Ben Affleck wins Best Director in a few days the Reindeer Games and Gigli episodes are coming down? Come on now. I'd just like them to mix it up with recent flops a little more often is all.

    CORRECTION: Affleck wasn't nominated in the Best Director category for the Academy Awards, which is exactly why "Argo" will win Best PICTURE as an apology/face-saving move. Affleck has been cleaning up and winning every OTHER directing award, which makes the Academy look like assholes for getting it so, so wrong. That's a pretty damn good consolation prize.

  3. Posted

    As someone who's been pulled over on on the way to Atlantic City, I can attest that there's some crazy shit in those little N.J. towns. I don't remember seeing any dick noses though.

    There's a series of films about this camp outside of a small town in New Jersey where all these massacres take place, yet it still manages to get re-opened year after year. "It won't happen again, because Jason is dead!", says the local law enforcement six or seven times. I think it's a documentary.

  6. Posted

    One of my biggest problems with this film was that they took away the whole "humans can't talk" thing from the original. Here, the people talked, they were intelligent, and they were just treated like shit, right? There was really nothing special at all about Wahlberg's character, like he was more or less just the guy that rolls into town and causes the oppressed people to stand up for themselves and butt heads with the authorities, isn't he? I saw the whole thing in theaters once, and anything I've seen of it on TV since then I just don't remember.

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

     

     

    That was it exactly. I would say something like, "Have you seen that new trailer for the heist movie with Jason Bateman?" and people would look at me crazy and then I'd have to backtrack and try to remember his name.

    I grew up with Bateman on TV, and that was when he was probably the lesser of the Bateman siblings, so I couldn't imagine making such a mistake! I mean, he was a Teen Wolf (though probably the lesser of the two teen wolves...), which made him an A-lister to ten-year-olds...for a little while...

  9. Posted

    Also, teleportation. I think there was a scene where the evil uncle or whoever is running from Jason, and he flees into a building or something only to be thrown out of a window seconds later by Jason...who was already there? Whaaa?!? I could be remembering it wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's EXACTLY what happened.

     

    While not a "good" movie, "Jason X" was SO much better than this one, because it was at least entertaining, had some really great and fun kills, and really owned it's ridiculous gimmick. This one was more like "Jason Spends Twenty Minutes in Manhattan".

  10. Posted

    I don't remember a whole lot from this one aside from the "Steven Segal stops a bunch of dudes from messing with his truck by trashing like eight vehicles that belong to people we don't know that don't matter" scene. Yeah, not a scratch on your ride, but some poor bastard is missing a windshield and has a mangled corpse on the front seat. Thanks a lot, asshole.

    • Like 2

  13. Posted

    Holy shit, regarding who would do the voice of a dragon in a Uwe Boll movie, I was going to say "If they got Connery for Dragonheart, I'd bet Uwe Boll would get..." followed by a seemingly random has-been name that seemed pretty clever to me. I knew that there was a DTV sequel to "Dragonheart" and figured I'd see who did the voice in THAT and then go a notch lower, but when I looked, I saw the EXACT name that I was going to say before double-checking, and it turns out that ROBBY BENSON has already done a dragon voice. I'm 100% positive that I didn't know that, and damn it, now I have to think of someone a notch lower than Robby Benson. Adam Rich? Adam Rich, I guess. I had to look and make sure that he was still alive...

  14. Posted

    Well the budget for Skyrim was $85 million and it made $450 million within less than two weeks of release. The first one of these turd movies had a budget of $60 million (thank you, dumb German laws!) and has grossed just over $10 million worldwide to date. If they really made a Skyrim movie the popcorn sales alone would most likely outweigh Boll's career net. I would hope Burt Reynolds voices the dragon, though.

    This just reminds me of when "Halo 3" came out, and they were touting the next week that it "made more money in one day than any other form of entertainment" or some similar such bullshit, that it had made more than the opening weekend of "Spider-Man 3". The math was a little fuzzy, because people were paying 8 bucks to see "Spider-Man". Meanwhile, the video game was going to set you back at least sixty, and I'm sure that more than a few folks plopped down a hundred for "Halo 3: Giant Fucking Helmet Edition" or whatever.

    • Like 1

  15. Posted

    "Dolph Lundgren initially turned down Uwe Boll's offer before coming back on his decision when he and his wife decided to get a divorce."

     

    I guess that answers your question.

    If going through a divorce meant that I'd have to do "In the Name of thJESUS CHRIST, a sequel? To THAT? Really?" for Uwe Boll, I think I'd try my best to make a last ditch effort to make that marriage work. For the kids...and my sanity...

  17. Posted

    The only defense I've ever really seen of this film is "but it was written by a 15-year-old", which sounds more like an excuse than a reason why I should give it a break. Here's an excerpt from a CHUD.com writer's "Worst of 2006" where this earned the #1 spot:

     

    "Based on a truly fucking awful novel by a 15 year old who cribbed everything he could from Tolkein and the AD&D Monster Manual, Eragon is pretty much an illustration of why nobody has made many fantasy movies. I wonder what the cast and crew screening of this was like – there’s no way that anyone could sit through this junk and think that there’s a single redeeming element. Except maybe the FX people, because the dragon actually often looks good. But if Jeremy Irons kills himself in the coming days, don’t be surprised to find the Eragon theatrical poster left as his suicide note."

    • Like 1

  18. Posted

    They're both streaming on Netflix right now too. It's amusing that rather than call it something else and try to capitalize on the somewhat hot streak that Dolph was having (he's great in the Expendables films and the AWESOME recent Universal Soldier installments), that he decided to sequelize the film that essentially banished him from theaters forever, as nothing he did after that ever played on more than a few screens. I mean, Boll is a brand in and of himself, and Dolph's got his following, so I wonder if sticking a 2 at the end of a title of a movie that people actively avoided got anyone else to watch it that wasn't already sold on it. I wonder if making the plot of this second one the opposite of "Masters of the Universe" was a conscious decision from the beginning, or if it only came about after getting Dolph attached to it? "Plot". *teehee*

  19. Posted

    The fact that we never got a June minisode on this is one of my greatest disappointments.

    Maybe kind of a commentary/reaction to the original podcast! Of course, you could either synch up the two podcasts to get a full understanding, or you could just listen to the June track where you'd listen to her talk to herself and react to things we can't hear for an hour. Either way would be pretty entertaining! I mean, I still think that half the time Jason's reacting or getting worked up to things that no one else can hear or see, and he's RIGHT THERE with everyone! At least June's ramblings would have a reasonable excuse!

  20. Posted

    When Tom Arnold is questioning the strength of your material, you know you've got a turd on your hands.

    I've liked Tom Arnold in a lot of things that I haven't really liked, but I was just thinking in general that if a COMEDIAN has to ask if something's funny, your film is in pretty bad shape.

     

    For a good dose of Tom Arnold-as-himself goodness, I strongly recommend "Brother's Justice", Dax Shepard's mockumentary about his attempt to recreate himself as an action star, which co-stars just about everyone that was in last year's "Hit and Run", which makes think it was really THAT film that was the joke.

  21. Posted

    I was flipping through channels one day and caught *SPOILER* Burt Reynolds' death scene, where he sounded less like he was dying and more like he was experiencing a minor inconvenience. I haven't seen the film in it's entirety, and it looks like a chore to sit through at over 2 hours (plus being terrible, which would make it feel closer to 5), but do I need to actually see it at all to get the second one? The second one has Dolph, and I fucking love Dolph.

  22. Posted

    This was Ridley Scott's willow. it should have been better then it was and is a along way from Blade Runner

    . . i was waiting for Tim Curry to break into song in the film. you can't look at him with out thinking about it.

    What people kind of forget though is that "Blade Runner" was NOT very successful, at least not commercially when compared to Scott's previous film (Alien) and the previous work of it's star, so I can understand why there'd be a bit of a departure for his next film, which didn't come along until 4 years later.

     

    Oh wow, "Top Gun" came out less than a month after this film, and then "Color of Money" (one of my top 5 favorites of all time) was a few months after that, so it sure didn't take Tom Cruise long to shake off the failure stink from "Legend".

  23. Posted

    This movie was more about product placement than anything else, anyone remember the Burger King in the MIB HQ and the Lara Flynn Boyle eating a Whopper for a minute and a half on screen?

    I don't remember much of the film, having only seen it once about a decade ago, but I know that Lara Flynn Boyle was damn near skeletal at one point. Did you get to see the outline of the Whopper as it made it's way down her gullet "Anaconda"-style? was it product placement, or was it the novelty of getting to see her actually eat something?

    • Like 1

  24. Posted

    And it's a shame we'll never see the planned sequel, in which the Surf Ninjas square off against the Surf Nazis.

     

     

     

    (I made that up.)

    If you remembered your WWII history, you'd know that the Surf Ninjas and Surf Nazis were allies, and that they were both coming after US! Surf Ninjas vs. Surf Nazis would just be silly and historically inaccurate!

    • Like 1

  25. Posted

    I have family in Hermosa Beach, California, which had it's fair share of film and TV projects filmed there, and I remember my cousin telling me a "Surf Ninjas" story about how Tone Loc sort of got reprimanded for sharing his Twizzlers with the kids that were hanging around the set because the budget on the movie was THAT low.

    • Like 1
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