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Everything posted by DanEngler

  1. I don't know how you decided that The Happening is the right hill to die upon, but the fact that you have been harping on this (non-)issue for 3+ straight weeks with no tangible information to support your accusations is making you seem mentally unbalanced. You. Need. To. Calm. Down.
  2. DanEngler

    Episode 130 — Naked Oil Boy Fights

    IT'S BEEN ten days, so here's the . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eefZAtdsdoA
  3. DanEngler

    Episode 160 — Rap & Karaoke

    In United States v. Coulton (2005), the Supreme Court determined that white hipsters ironically covering rap songs is the hackiest "joke" in modern society. In fact, the term "hack" finds its origins in the name of pop group Dynamite Hack, who released a shameful N-word laden cover of Eazy-E's "Boyz-N-The-Hood" in 2000.
  4. DanEngler


    So, this is the part where you get reduced to a cloud of ash and I play house with the mysterious other woman?
  5. DanEngler


    I can't imagine anything more unbelievable than a story in which a glorified janitor is dispatched to a hostile environment to clean up other people's toxic waste, all the while receiving his orders from a gorgeous redhead. /stares at forum /stares at Shannon's avatar /stares at forum again Well, shit.
  6. DanEngler


    By which you mean you didn't see Moon?
  7. DanEngler


    Quoting myself from Twitter, "OBLIVION is a cinematic master class, insofar as an entire film school syllabus could be designed around all the things it does wrong." Every aspect of the movie was derivative of an earlier, better work. In contrast to films like The Matrix and Kill Bill, which are loving tributes that build upon their many influences, Oblivion added fuck-all. Every plot "twist" is telegraphed so far in advance that there wasn't a single surprise. Moreso than any film I've ever seen, Oblivion suffered from "nothing interesting is happening on screen, so let's add thrilling music to stir even the tiniest bit of emotion in the audience." Even the first scene, of Tom Cruise parking his goddamned spacecar, had an epic score. But nothing summarizes this experiment in design-by-checklist better than "Welp, the MPAA allows a single non-sexual use of the word 'fuck' in a PG-13 movie, so let's make sure we get that 'fuck' in the final confrontation with the Triangulons."
  8. DanEngler

    Episode 31 - All Hail The Queen

    Fourth week I've been listening, fourth excellent show. Per Ms. Haithcoat, "America loves a comeback and loves to forgive." Then explain the disparity between the public perceptions of Michael Vick and Chris Brown. One of those dudes went to jail, paid his debt, and continues to appear genuinely contrite for his actions; the other received what might charitably be called a slap on the wrist and has taken every available opportunity to flaunt it in public. Not to mention the army of women willing to leap to his defense at a moment's notice. It speaks to the pervasiveness of misogyny in America that beating the shit out of a woman—even a beloved female celebrity—is eminently more "forgivable" than killing a few animals. I'm sure the fact that said celebrity is a woman of color plays no small part in it.
  9. DanEngler

    Episode 106 — Military

    Nice job on the jazz note, Andrew.
  10. DanEngler

    Episode 130 — Naked Oil Boy Fights

    Another indication that your comedy barometer needs to be serviced: you entertain the notion that Paul—oft-regarded as one of the nicest guys in comedy—would treat someone like garbage, to their face, in a medium broadcast around the world. The mind reels.
  11. I don't have the slightest goddamned idea what you people are talking about, so I'm just going to listen to my second-favorite song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0iA_rOcn9Y
  12. The Peppermint Forest is just east of the .
  13. DanEngler

    Episode 63 — Fast & Furious 6

    Listening to this episode was like watching kids open presents on Christmas morning, beside themselves with unbridled joy. Under threat from an assassin (Jason Statham) hell-bent on revenge for the death of his terrorist brother, Agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) must recruit disgraced homicide detective David Mills (Brad Pitt) to untangle the mystery of Han's death in Tokyo. Mills, still haunted by the murder of his wife, reluctantly accepts Hobbs' offer on one condition: they rescue his former partner (Morgan Freeman) from a prison orbiting the Moon. FAST & FURIOUS SE7EN Screenplay by Paul Scheer & Jason Mantzoukas.
  14. DanEngler

    Episode 221 — The Cake Council

    The recent run of fan-favorite episodes were banked in advance, presumably to afford Scott some downtime during (six-days-a-week) production on CBBTV Season 2. Weirdest Kulap instagram-ed photos from the wrap party over the weekend, so I expect they'll be back in the studio soon.
  15. Amy would make a stellar impartial judge for the Case Closed segments.
  16. DanEngler

    Episode 129.5 — 5/24/13 TWO CHARTED 68

    You're insane. Chelsea Peretti was also on the same episode, and both her reactions to Riff Raff and her stories about growing up with Moshe were incredible. Yeah, it's absurd that there isn't more crossover between the LA podcast and YouTube scenes. Hannah Hart, or Stevie and Milana from Live Prude Girls, would be great on Who Charted or HDTGM. Speaking of crossovers, anyone in the mood for some B-B-B-BONUS-S-S-S Kulap should check out today's Ronna & Beverly.
  17. Solid Gold, schmolid gold. This was the real appointment television in the 80s: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTlUzL7-T50
  18. Re-listen to this episode and consider the question: What if the woman Joe Hartzler is pining over is Amy Poehler?
  19. DanEngler

    Episode 219 — Farts and Procreation 3

    It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno.
  20. DanEngler

    Episode 129 — Professional Liar

    Kulap indicated that tomorrow's live VPN recording would feature guest Maria Bamford, but the show page on YouTube says they will instead be joined by Mr. Harris Wittels. Looking forward to it either way.
  21. DanEngler

    Episode 62.5 — Minisode 62.5

    What do you mean by "What do you mean"? Ain't NOBODY tell Jason Mantzoukas what to do! They say, "Jason, why don't you wear something different?" Zouks says "FUCK YOU. WHITE SHIRT." They say, "Jason, we're going to need to you shav--" and before they can even finish the sentence, Zouks rage-grows his beard another two inches. Polls! POLLS, he says!
  22. DanEngler

    Episode 220 — 4 PayDays & A Baby

    Send a salami to your boy in the army?
  23. DanEngler

    Episode 62.5 — Minisode 62.5

    All of you are so, so wrong. Should the gang eventually get around to reviewing The Happening, their guest should be Sklarbro County's Dan Van Kirk, doing his Mark Wahlberg impression. Happy birthday, Dan. Womp it up!
  24. DanEngler

    Episode 50 — Chris Fealy of Nerdist

    Awesome episode. It's great to hear that Earwolf has so many new things in development, but disheartening (pun intended) to learn that it's slowly killing Jeff. Enjoy your sabbatical, sir.