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Everything posted by DanEngler

  1. DanEngler


    Quoting myself from Twitter, "OBLIVION is a cinematic master class, insofar as an entire film school syllabus could be designed around all the things it does wrong." Every aspect of the movie was derivative of an earlier, better work. In contrast to films like The Matrix and Kill Bill, which are loving tributes that build upon their many influences, Oblivion added fuck-all. Every plot "twist" is telegraphed so far in advance that there wasn't a single surprise. Moreso than any film I've ever seen, Oblivion suffered from "nothing interesting is happening on screen, so let's add thrilling music to stir even the tiniest bit of emotion in the audience." Even the first scene, of Tom Cruise parking his goddamned spacecar, had an epic score. But nothing summarizes this experiment in design-by-checklist better than "Welp, the MPAA allows a single non-sexual use of the word 'fuck' in a PG-13 movie, so let's make sure we get that 'fuck' in the final confrontation with the Triangulons."
  2. DanEngler

    Episode 31 - All Hail The Queen

    Fourth week I've been listening, fourth excellent show. Per Ms. Haithcoat, "America loves a comeback and loves to forgive." Then explain the disparity between the public perceptions of Michael Vick and Chris Brown. One of those dudes went to jail, paid his debt, and continues to appear genuinely contrite for his actions; the other received what might charitably be called a slap on the wrist and has taken every available opportunity to flaunt it in public. Not to mention the army of women willing to leap to his defense at a moment's notice. It speaks to the pervasiveness of misogyny in America that beating the shit out of a woman—even a beloved female celebrity—is eminently more "forgivable" than killing a few animals. I'm sure the fact that said celebrity is a woman of color plays no small part in it.
  3. DanEngler

    Episode 106 — Military

    Nice job on the jazz note, Andrew.
  4. DanEngler

    Episode 130 — Naked Oil Boy Fights

    Another indication that your comedy barometer needs to be serviced: you entertain the notion that Paul—oft-regarded as one of the nicest guys in comedy—would treat someone like garbage, to their face, in a medium broadcast around the world. The mind reels.
  5. I don't have the slightest goddamned idea what you people are talking about, so I'm just going to listen to my second-favorite song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0iA_rOcn9Y
  6. The Peppermint Forest is just east of the .
  7. DanEngler

    Episode 63 — Fast & Furious 6

    Listening to this episode was like watching kids open presents on Christmas morning, beside themselves with unbridled joy. Under threat from an assassin (Jason Statham) hell-bent on revenge for the death of his terrorist brother, Agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) must recruit disgraced homicide detective David Mills (Brad Pitt) to untangle the mystery of Han's death in Tokyo. Mills, still haunted by the murder of his wife, reluctantly accepts Hobbs' offer on one condition: they rescue his former partner (Morgan Freeman) from a prison orbiting the Moon. FAST & FURIOUS SE7EN Screenplay by Paul Scheer & Jason Mantzoukas.
  8. DanEngler

    Episode 221 — The Cake Council

    The recent run of fan-favorite episodes were banked in advance, presumably to afford Scott some downtime during (six-days-a-week) production on CBBTV Season 2. Weirdest Kulap instagram-ed photos from the wrap party over the weekend, so I expect they'll be back in the studio soon.
  9. Amy would make a stellar impartial judge for the Case Closed segments.
  10. DanEngler

    Episode 129.5 — 5/24/13 TWO CHARTED 68

    You're insane. Chelsea Peretti was also on the same episode, and both her reactions to Riff Raff and her stories about growing up with Moshe were incredible. Yeah, it's absurd that there isn't more crossover between the LA podcast and YouTube scenes. Hannah Hart, or Stevie and Milana from Live Prude Girls, would be great on Who Charted or HDTGM. Speaking of crossovers, anyone in the mood for some B-B-B-BONUS-S-S-S Kulap should check out today's Ronna & Beverly.
  11. Solid Gold, schmolid gold. This was the real appointment television in the 80s: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTlUzL7-T50
  12. Re-listen to this episode and consider the question: What if the woman Joe Hartzler is pining over is Amy Poehler?
  13. DanEngler

    Episode 219 — Farts and Procreation 3

    It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno.
  14. DanEngler

    Episode 129 — Professional Liar

    Kulap indicated that tomorrow's live VPN recording would feature guest Maria Bamford, but the show page on YouTube says they will instead be joined by Mr. Harris Wittels. Looking forward to it either way.
  15. DanEngler

    Episode 62.5 — Minisode 62.5

    What do you mean by "What do you mean"? Ain't NOBODY tell Jason Mantzoukas what to do! They say, "Jason, why don't you wear something different?" Zouks says "FUCK YOU. WHITE SHIRT." They say, "Jason, we're going to need to you shav--" and before they can even finish the sentence, Zouks rage-grows his beard another two inches. Polls! POLLS, he says!
  16. DanEngler

    Episode 220 — 4 PayDays & A Baby

    Send a salami to your boy in the army?
  17. DanEngler

    Episode 62.5 — Minisode 62.5

    All of you are so, so wrong. Should the gang eventually get around to reviewing The Happening, their guest should be Sklarbro County's Dan Van Kirk, doing his Mark Wahlberg impression. Happy birthday, Dan. Womp it up!
  18. DanEngler

    Episode 50 — Chris Fealy of Nerdist

    Awesome episode. It's great to hear that Earwolf has so many new things in development, but disheartening (pun intended) to learn that it's slowly killing Jeff. Enjoy your sabbatical, sir.
  19. DanEngler


    It also introduced me to the word "bastard", which did not amuse my parents nearly as much as it did eight-year-old me.
  20. DanEngler


    And Pole Position! This movie and Flight of The Navigator are inextricably linked, in the fucked-up double feature that is my childhood.
  21. DanEngler

    Episode 220 — 4 PayDays & A Baby

    If you put your ear to Lennon's belly, you can hear the Ocean. Billy Ocean. (Specifically, "Caribbean Queen".)
  22. DanEngler

    Episode 81 — Finger Fuckers

    While cute, your response doesn't actually address the question of why there are four accounts originating from your IP. Or, less deliberately obtuse, you didn't want to risk the possibility that throwing shade at Besser would affect your reputation as a self-proclaimed "rabid fan", and created a convenient anonymous account from behind which to snipe. Which would be extra ironic, given the fact that this Case Closed imbroglio began with Besser's reaction to people hiding behind online anonymity to broadcast hate about Jason Collins. Protip: Playing both the "I am a rabid fan" and "ban me I don't care" cards in the same post diminishes the credibility of either position. The bottom line is that the forums have recently experienced an influx of people registering accounts for the express purpose of shitting on a particular host or guest. Under Shannon's benevolent guidance, we take a very light touch toward moderation, and you'll note that few (if any) of them are banned for their efforts. The last thing we need are "fans" pulling the same shit. If you are, knock it off.
  23. DanEngler

    Episode 81 — Finger Fuckers

    Uh huh. And I suppose you conveniently also happen to have two additional roommates that registered the two other accounts associated with your IP address?
  24. DanEngler

    Episode 81 — Finger Fuckers

    RIP Spirit Bear, I find it totally unsurprising that you support Astartes' earlier comments, because both you and Astartes have been posting from the same IP address, in some cases only minutes apart. Would you care to explain this?