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Everything posted by klemjohansen

  1. klemjohansen

    Episode 14 β€” Jon Daly

    Holy shit that was amazing. In the future everyone will suck robot dicks. That will be our primary form of communication. We'll forget about keyboards and mice- even touch screens in favor of the flavor of a robot dick. You may not be able to type 60 words a minute but you can suck 100 or more. Yeah, future!
  2. klemjohansen

    Episode 55.5 β€” Minisode 55.5

    When America elects its first stand-up President, he or she will surely institute a blue-ribbon investigative commission so that we might finally get to the bottom of "deal with airline peanuts."
  3. klemjohansen

    Episode 11 β€” The Battle Continues

    "Running in the Direction of Mildred" was an EP, Blackie, not a full-length album. I'm tearing off a corner of your slacker rock toten chit card. On Slow Century, Stephen said "I was smoking so much grass that summer I really thought 'Running in the Direction of Mildred' was going to be our breakthrough hit. It was only months later after my THC levels returned to near-normal that I realized that a song about the finer points of mid-19th-century water reclamation policy might not have mass appeal. i was also listening to a lot of Tracy Thorne at the time and feeling very mopey."
  4. klemjohansen

    Episode 83 β€” Another N Word Discussion

    I love the idea of a "very special episode" with a hard core racist. Ironically, I think he and Andrew would agree on most of the calls. Ti: That shit is racist. Racist Guy: Yes, it's completely racist- and I LOVE IT!
  5. klemjohansen

    Episode 66 β€” Cop Donkey

    I personally pledge to use the phrase "bingo wings" in conversation at least once in the next 24 hours.
  6. Apparently, in the rap game, proper nouns = political commentary
  7. klemjohansen

    Episode 199 β€” Garry Unmarried

    I would watch UCB Babies. "I need a city, a verb and something you found in your diaper. Go!"
  8. I know you guys weren't comfortable talking about the money stuff, but I really appreciate it. I've always been a huge admirer of what you four have done. Even if you weren't amazing comedians, I'd still admire that part of it. I always tell my kids that you have to make your own fun, and you certainly did. It's good to know some of the business-ish stuff that went into that. I would never have the guts to do any of it, but I hope this inspires somebody who isn't me.
  9. klemjohansen

    Episode 12 β€” Mazel Tov, My Nigga

    I guess I'd heard of the Black Peter thing before but I never connected the dots - this means Santa Claus is a slave master. I think what's really going on is that it's supposed to be an intense moral test for these kids- a bit like the recent "cookie tests" psychologists have been running. They're supposed to refuse the toys on the grounds that Santa is a racist pig. Some kid from Iceland returns his presents in person (he lives so damn near the arctic circle, he can basically walk there) and Santa pretends to be too busy to listen but then he grabs the box and quietly mutters "So shines a good deed in a weary wold." It's been a test all along set up by wealthy abolitionists. Your mind = blown.
  10. I like the idea of a 22-foot event horizon. Hmm, six inches away there's a 42-foot diameter circle of dead bodies. That's weird. Oh, well. I'll finish my regionally-named sandwich. Imagine Macaulay Culkin as a bro'd-out frat guy punching every joke and mildly misogynistic statement with "No Home-Alone."
  11. klemjohansen

    Episode 113 β€” Pullin Wool

    I saw the episode title and mistakenly thought it was about Pauline Wool, which I immediately imagined as a militant lesbian with a frat-boy's love of anonymous sex. "Bro, I totally got laid last night after the Our Bodies Ourselves Q&A. Pound it in, bro. Check it. Elizabeth Katy Stanton? I'd totes hit that shit."
  12. klemjohansen

    Episode 77 β€” Making Fun of ESL Students

    I'm pretty sure making fun of asian kids really is a masters program at ASU. I'm not sure about dick-bowl eating, though.
  13. klemjohansen

    Episode 196 β€” A Different Huelliverse

    This episode made me wonder if Sir Mix-A-Lot ever hands out at UCB "Girl, your body is like bad improv- no butt."
  14. klemjohansen

    Episode 12 β€” It Will Probably Get Loud Pt 2

    This and the Pan episode are my favorites.
  15. klemjohansen

    Episode 112 β€” Hollywood's Next Jew

    Fun Fact: The Smiths "There is a Light that Never Goes out" was an early example of MothPop, specifically written to appeal to the tastes of mopy, beige butterflies.
  16. klemjohansen

    Episode 71 β€” Kriss Krossword Puzzles

    The nerdiest "you mama" joke ever: your sister is easier than the New York Times crossword ... on a Monday. The "Jose" is pretty rare. Most of the time they do a French word with a French name. That's probably ethnocentric, but I have a hard time thinking that something like that is racist.
  17. I have a hard time imagining Zappa telling his kids this story and as a coda saying "and you know, one day that story will become a movie that will eventually become fodder for the HDIGM follow-up to Anaconda. Goodnight, kids." EditL: I might track this movie down just for the pencil factory montage.
  18. klemjohansen

    Episode 5 β€” Analyze Fish

    Am I a horrible person for immediately imagining the late, great Freddy Mercury during the discussion of sharks not being able to fit all their teeth in their mouths? Now all I can think about is FreddyShark swimming through the oceans singing We Are the Champions as he struggles to manage his many rows of teeth, a tiny half-microphone stand tucked under his fin.
  19. klemjohansen

    Episode 5 β€” Analyze Fish

    PFT & Howard make a great team, genuine delight is exuding from every pore of this thing.
  20. klemjohansen

    Episode 111 β€” You Wanna Ocean Tonight?

    Listening to this, all I could think of was a weird Whoch/Boosh crossover: "You know nothing of The Clench!"
  21. klemjohansen

    Episode 8 β€” The Survivors

    If you're talking about the original Russian version because, like me, you don't speak the language anymore and have only a vague idea of what's going on, then I completely agree.
  22. Please go back to trashing Tebow. I'm not really a sports guy, so this podcast is pretty much the only NFL exposure I get. The episode after Tebow went to the Jets, Besser's Jets-loving cognitive dissonance was amazingly entertaining. That was my second favorite episode behind the one with St. Claire & Parnham.
  23. klemjohansen

    Episode 194 β€” Me Gusta Characters!

    Requesting remix mark 2: add a subtle layer of Chelsea saying "ooh, close my plugbag."
  24. klemjohansen

    Episode 194 β€” Me Gusta Characters!

    This explains a lot. About two weeks ago, I walked outside one beautiful Indiana morning and, to my surprise, found myself pelted by about 3 gallons of Chelsea vomit. Thanks for the resolution, Comedy Bang Bang.
  25. klemjohansen

    Episode 9 β€” University of Phoenix College Radio

    I could go for some SkaTallica right about now. My fave is "The Thing That Should Not Ska" off of Master of Skappets.