klemjohansen

Especially at the Chicken Ranch. RT @MattBesser Coupons just make everything awkward.

If you get caught between the moon and NYC, you will asphyxiate within 15 seconds without a space suit. Christopher Cross lied to us.

OK It's not time to ask if ginning up hatred/fear of non-Christians leads to stuff like this. Can someone txt me when it is? #bachmann #sikh

go #nasa go! As a non-sports guy this is the one thing I can't stop pulling for. Go, Curiosity!

Yay, @nasa - just saw an engineer call up a girl who dumped him in high school & shout "Boo-yah! How ya like me now?" - #nerdrespect

God speed David St. Hubbens. Get well soon.

crossroadsGPS buying ad time on the Hulu reruns of Colbert is dirty, bad and wrong.

POTUS can use a disaster at home to cut short a bad foreign trip. What can Mitt do? "Must go. Some of my $ has caught fire." #romneyshambles

Recently, I saw some "clear" grape drink mix and I thought, "That sounds so stupid; why would anyone- oh, wait. Yeah. Now I get it."

Congrats on #birthcontrol mandate, ladies! Enjoy your reproductive rights while they last. GOP's real-life Handmaid's Tale begins in 2013.

A virtual doff of the cap to @PFTompkins for doing the inconvenient thing by taking a stand in a funny way & risking losing listeners/fans.

Complaining about yet another skeezy Newsweek cover is like calling the fire dept in horror after hiring an arsonist to house-sit #tinabrown

Confession: I sometimes embed references to Pavement lyrics in my iOS code so the XCode compiler will respect me. Not sure it's working.

House GOP proposes a bill to force women to "stop spending so much time in the bathroom, we're going to be late dammit" #waronwomen

Marc Maron in shorts. Ouch. #louie

Paul Ryan has the sad eyes of a boy whose dog just died- every single day.

Since he's so busy completing his secret project (a ruby-chromium laser) Paul Ryan will present his RNCC speech from a hollowed-out volcano.

And the gold medal for weirdest tourism-themed musical goes to... Great Britain#OlympicClosingCeremony

Why aren't all vampires catholic? You'd think that consubstantiation would be a big plus for them.

I was reading Good Omens and thought "why isn't there a film of this yet?" Moments later I checked IMDB- it comes out next year.

Yrs ago, a young Paul Ryan smashed his mom's fav lamp. He glued 1/2 of it back together & said "I didn't break it, mom. I _reformed_ it!"

People say Paul Ryan is a hungry guy and I don't doubt it. He always smiles like he's trying to swallow his own mouth.

If only John Sununu was the VP nom. We would have scads of fun finding ways to work "resigned in disgrace" into every Q&A question. #2012

Talking with a French person- at one point he goes "c'est vre" to which I responded "OK. Vray. Wait. What?"

Why does @TPM continue to accept advertising from nut-job organizations? What the hell does "American Morality" mean, anyway?